:'-)

beautiful mother soap dispenser just gave birth to a baby foam in my hand

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

I'm playing correspondence chess with my brother and don't feel like making a move tonight but wanted to make sure I did it tomorrow, so I wrote "move against brother" in my TODO list before realizing that sounds kind of insane.

#AncientPrinceProblems

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

World Heritage Post

mah shErbet.,, mah sp ᵒᵒⁿ

the transcription is 100% accurate and yet still doesn’t do it justice somehow

little baby… i’m taking u home with me

sports is not real. they just declared it

they just killed every player in the world. we are free

Computer. Iris by the goo goo dolls. Loud enough to kill.

the authors open fetish that complements the themes of their work

important plot device thats also just authors fetish. call that a jackoffs gun