the languorous lurker

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

imagine youre kris and youre all reserved and cagey and you dont want to tip off your new best friend susie as to how much your parents divorce fucked with you. and then all your adventures take her through divorce themed fantasy lands constructed by your subconscious

I hate cigarettes so much I hate that smoking is becoming cool again I hate that we're becoming contrarian hipsters about this disgusting habit that has literally killed so many people and destroyed so many lives I'm so serious we need to become absolute killjoys about this again it's time to go 90s scolds on cigarettes until the scourge is wiped out entirely.

it's not woke to watch Rick & Morty. even after they fired that one guy it's still not woke to watch Rick & Morty. it's cringe. but i thought we were done calling things cringe? no it's like reddit cringe, that's still bad. it's reddit to watch Rick & Morty. 7 years ago i confess to a beautiful woman that i watched some Rick & Morty, multiple seasons in fact, and thought it was kinda funny. she says she knows some folks who work on the show and it seems "well put together". it was so polite that she said that. it was so kind; one last attempt at human consideration. in truth we both know i've become like some kind of a dog in her eyes, one of those ugly dogs that so badly wish they could access some more dignified state of existence, but can't. or perhaps she looks at me like you'd look at the rest of your sandwich after you've taken a bite and found a bug in it. despite this person's best efforts, things will never quite be how they used to be between her and me. i am a different class of citizen now. i am to be reprocessed into something less objectionable now. at some point in my mother's womb i took a wrong turn and chose to be born and grow into the kind of person who watches Rick & Morty and that was my mistake. a lapse in judgment. it's not woke to watch Rick & Morty

btw dating sucks as a concept.

meeting up with someone with the explicit goal of figuring out whether or not you want a relationship with them spoils the dynamic. it sucks. it's terrible. fall in love with your friends like normal people.

as expected this one is a hit with the autism website

Monster dating sim with a Sierra adventure game circa 1990 ethos about bad endings where the monsters are genuinely well meaning and there are just an unbelievable number of ways for them to accidentally kill you, and – this is key – there's a fuckass narrator who has a unique stupid pun for every single one.

Ideally it should also have a 90s Sierra adventure game approach to routing, like you can make a seemingly innocuous decision in the first five minutes of play that locks you into an unavoidable bad ending. You neglect to pick up the condoms from the nightstand (which is not even visually flagged as interactable) in the very first scene, and three quarters of a route later you have a bizarre allergic reaction to your partner's bodily fluids that somehow causes your head to pop off of your shoulders and go shooting out the window like a bottle rocket. The narrator responds with a strained wordplay about the semantic distinction between "getting" head and "giving" head.

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

If you want to be accepting of mental illness, you need to accept the fact that some people's everyday lives are going to be terrifying to you. That doesn't mean they don't get to talk about it. Stop forcing hurt, isolated people to become even MORE hurt and isolated because you can't fathom toughening up a bit.