catreplicators

There’s a pelican so huge you can’t possibly dive down far enough to evade its beak

If you get bitten by a deep-sea shark when it comes up to the surface to die, you’ll transform into one and have to live in the abyss

Hagfish can fill up a dead mermaid, make it look alive and use it to trick you

A mysterious mermaid wanders at night waiting to startle you with the horrible crustacean in her mouth. If you flinch, she steals your tongue and leaves the creature in its place.

You might think you’ve made a nice new friend who just doesn’t talk much until she grabs you with her metal hook hands and drags you away on an invisible line to get eaten by land people

If you eat too many jellyfish, one might turn out to be a vengeful jellyfish ghost that will only choke you to death from the inside*

i see so many posts on here abt how polyamory is so “annoying” and polyamorous ppl are “cringe” and dont face any sort of oppression, as if half this fucking website forgets that in most, if not all, western countries outlaw polyamorous marriage

like there are posts and posts on here about how polyamorous people dont also face societal oppression, as if polyamory isnt frowned upon in western society? as if saying “my boyfriend’s girlfriend” or “my girlfriend’s husband” isnt a common fucking joke punchline, and will give you weird looks if you try to drop it casually within a conversation

We regularly get told that our relationship isn’t child-friendly. Concerned parents corner us and ask us not to “bring our lifestyle around their children” even though we didn’t do or talk about anything inappropriate.

My city apparently has an ordinance that prevents more than three people living together unless they’re related by blood or marriage (not that we pay any attention to it, but our landlord could LEGALLY evict us if she found out).

When we had to take my wife to the emergency room due to severe chest pains, our boyfriend had to sit out in the waiting room, scared and alone, while waiting for me to text him updates.

And I’ve just resigned myself to not being able to have kids because of all the legal issues that could arise if a bunch of polyamorous trans people tried to adopt.  

Tumblr deleted my long ass rant while I was in the middle of writing it so you’re spared and will only get a summed up version

Long story short; your abs are supposed to be covered with a healthy, protective layer of fat. The shape Jason Momoa is in during his movies is achieved by a diet designed to lower his body fat to unhealthy numbers, dehydrating him and enhancing his abs with make up. This is what ripped, muscular, healthy person looks like on their off time. If you think this is a dad bod, for the love of everything that is holy, shut up and absolutely never comment on a man’s body ever again. I mean hell, you can still see his damn v-line, what fucking dad bod has that?!

Don’t believe me? Google some bodybuilders who are off their contest diet. The men who literally make a living for having defined muscles. For 360 days a year, they do not look like the way you think they do. During a bodybuilding contest, these men’s body fat is under 7%, they’re dehydeated and covered in fake tan that helps the muscles show up. And it’s literally only for that day, because it’s extremely unhealthy. Same goes for actors who are known for being ripped - they’re at their worst when they’re filming. This exact same shit happened with Vin Diesel few years ago with people getting a paparazzi shot of his “beer belly” and I’m genuinely worried of the young men who grow up in this society thinking being muscular means having defined abs 24/7.

“This is what actors (& models & bodybuilders) do. If you see them with razor cut abs, they have been on a low carb, water-reducing diet to get there. You cannot retain that and be healthy. When we shot WOLVES, Jason asked me, “Do I have to have abs n’ shit for this?” I said no.”

-  David Hayter, director, Wolves

“The wood chopping scene in The Wolverine was all the footage they could get before Hugh Jackman passed out from dehydration. Dehydration and steroids are the big secret behind Hollywood muscle definition.”

-  My name is Grant‏

“Yeah there was a huge piece a few years ago about the prevalence of doping in the aftermath of Dark Knight (roughly), it became an arms race of every male actor going on roids for definition. Compare Jackman in XMen 1 from 2000 to him in Logan, for example.”

-  Kuff ‘n’ Klout

“The Hollywood roid phenomenon in one picture”

-  Kuff ‘n’ Klout‏

“The Guest” movie - 

My new author page is https://thescpfoundation.com/agent-trauss. I’ll be adding more content in the coming months. In this recording, I talk about why I bought that domain, why I encourage other SCP creators and groups to buy similar domains and do similar things, and I explain the full context of an apology that I felt I owed to the SCP community; the full context includes the grooming I experienced at the hands of authority over the years as I grew from a teen to an adult in the inner circle of the SCP wiki and became an openly sexual public figure, thus contributing to and furthering the wiki’s dangerous subculture which had originally pulled me in. I believe this full context was necessary before I could say what I felt I needed to say and do what I feel is the right thing to do.

Something I mention in the recording – that I afterward found out was already somewhat known to some people in RPC – is something the entire community should know. SCP wiki administrator Roget had a pet project with his fiance to fake a relationship with the administrator of RPC, with the explicit purpose of destabilizing his mental health. It worked completely and that administrator left RPC. Roget entrusted me with this information in summer 2018, well before I got thrown out of the clique. In the recording, I do mention the shame I feel for having supported them and for keeping it a secret when I knew it was wrong – I do not consider myself innocent in the machine that is the SCP wiki inner circle, I want that to be clear. All the relevant proof, including proof that the other administrators knew all along, is in this Google Drive folder. The captain of Disciplinary has repeatedly tried to gaslight me into thinking it was not a big deal: that Roget’s fiance was “trying to help RPC,” that I was not actually forced to keep it a secret – all asinine, obviously, but I briefly fell for it when the discussions were ongoing.

In case it’s not clear, regardless of who you support or what you think of me or any other Super Controversial People, you need to understand that the administration of the SCP wiki is intelligently manipulative and completely willing to make complex schemes to destroy people they don’t like or who they see as a threat to their control over the community. They have done it before to CFO as you see above, it looks damn well like they did it to me and might still be trying, and they’re going to do it again. They also have absolutely no safe or mature regard for the power they have over their users and how that can be – and has been on many occasions – misapplied sexually. 

Remember that if the community ever makes one of these giant posts jerking them off for all they “do” again. And remember that they have 150,000 dollars to their names now, with donations apparently never closing. THEY ARE A THREAT.

Sic. Semper. Tyrannis. Seriously. ALL power corrupts; if it takes the money element to make you concerned, then that’s better than nothing, but they’ve always been like this. They’re bureaucrats and they don’t care about you. Now they have corporate-level money in the bank.

The time to stop trusting them is yesterday, it’s a year ago, it’s two years ago, it’s now. The SCP Foundation does not belong to SCP wiki administration. It belongs to the community. That is what Creative Commons licensing is. The SCP Foundation is not the SCP wiki and vice versa. We are free. Do not forget that.

EDIT: Fuck it, even though it’s embarrassing for me I think I should probably link to the letter I sent administration in December so that anyone who feels the need to spend a lot of time understanding how I’m involved can do so. In case it’s not clear, the way I feel about and talk to administration in this letter is FAR FROM the way I feel about (and, hopefully, talk to) the community itself.

Edit 2 made 04 Feb 2020: The above Google Drive link had some issues where I thought it was public but wasn’t, I ended up debating letting it be public again (especially because of how quickly the peanut gallery on Kiwi Farms started trying to access it the same day I posted, and also because I started to worry about the inclusion of non-staff users’ names), and in the end I decided to censor everyone’s names in it but still release it. Ultimately, the issue was with so many admins that it doesn’t really matter if I of all people give specific names, which is why I had tried to keep it anonymous in that voice recording. So here is that version. I know people may think I’m shitty to them in this letter, and I agree that I am shitty to them in it, for reasons that I think are apparent in the text and situation. I am aware that I’m an asshole, just trying to be a necessary whistleblowing asshole, at the least – they’re a group of people who scheme against and knowingly harm individuals, not one individual.