Fallen Seraph of Owls and Cats

that he blushed when he described crowley as a wily adversary (keeps me on my toes)

that he smiled when he realized the bentley was back without a scratch after having blown up

that he refused crowley a suicide pill

that he kept an eye on crowley for 26 years after 1941, then sought him out and gave him the holy water so that he didn't have to get it himself. but i can't have you risking your life. not even for something dangerous. if we must quote it then at least let's quote it right.

that he went to hell for crowley and made sure they wouldn't bother him anymore

that he only ever cared about crowley not being destroyed

that no way aziraphale didn't check on crowley in three years

And out of all the character flaws that were kinda present but not resolved in any way in GO1 and highlighted in GO2 is this aspect of Crowley’s character. And the through-line in GO2 about the unequal amount of sacrifice in the relationship is, like, you could definitely argue this is most importantly a problem of Aziraphale taking Crowley for granted and not Giving him enough and Taking too much but... the whole thing also highlighted Crowley’s emotional neediness making so dependent and so bad at asking for what he wants Given to him and bad at insisting upon his boundaries.

So at first I hoped that maybe the Ineffable Divorce would be good for Crowley in the long run, Aziraphale has finally crossed a boundary that Crowley isn’t going to acquiesce to or compromise on (his identity as Crowley, not the Angel he was). Crowley is staying on Earth around the same place as Muriel and all of the Human secondary characters established during GO2… maybe he’s gonna actually develop some emotional connections with Other People, learn how to still love Aziraphale while not making him the entirety of his world and reason for living. Obviously, that’s not what happened, Crowley’s codependence and obsessive dedication and tendency to spiral into self-destructive self-loathing has only gotten worse…

But at first that still made me hopeful (first mistake when it comes to GO3, I know) that this will be the set-up to his character arc. That the point is to show this flaw of Crowley at its most harmful extreme before he starts climbing out of it…. Right?

And, like, when I first went through the Finale, I was pretty ready to just chuck this down in the very long list of ‘Ineffable Husbands Personal and Interpersonal Issues That Were Not Meaningfully Addressed by the Finale and Only Resolved by FUCKING Reincarnation of All Things", or I suppose you could say that STPUID ASS ‘you were the Best Angel’ speech was supposed to totally resolve all of Crowley’s self-loathing problems and thus also his dependency problems??? Because THAT was the point of GO2, right??? That interpersonal issues can totally be fixed forever with one big dramatic gesture?

But the more and more I think about it, I start considering the possibility that the narrative never gave Crowley a chance to fix his toxically selfless codependent ‘I will basically try to destroy myself over and over again if I can’t be with my Angel’ issues because… it doesn’t actually see them as issues. It just sees them totally unironically uncomplicated expressions of love. Him behaving like that isn't a tragic flaw to heal from, really, it's just a demonstration of how much he loves. The narrative sees the problem with Aziraphale being a 'Taker', not showing Crowley his love enough, but not in the fact that it's also bad for Crowley that, regardless of his partner's behavior, he is so emotionally dependent on Aziraphale, selfless to the point of it being unhealthy.

This is a very serious topic, so I want to make sure I'm being clear as possible. This isn't, like, blaming Crowley for every time he tried to set a boundary but Aziraphale argued and pouted until he surrendered. I'm not saying "Oh this is equally Crowley's fault as a person, for not being good enough at insisting on himself", I am saying that from a character and narrative standpoint, not being able to say 'no' to the one you love is a flaw that a character should raise above and overcome, and it should not be romanticized as a showcase for just how In Love this character is…

In Season One, this was an issue that was easy to overlook. Crowley just seemed to enjoy spoiling Aziraphale rotten, so it was just easy to just see these gestures as romantic and sweet, and even the biggest red flag, so to speak, him resigning himself (and the world) to death because he thought Aziraphale has died…

I mean, it's not healthy, but he was literally just reeling from the shock and grief and guilt of thinking Aziraphale has died probably less than an hour ago… It's a contrast to Book!Crowley's near-constant resolve and optimism, but it still felt like an understandable reaction given the timeframe.

Meanwhile, like, yeah, GO3 Crowley spending years wallowing in an alleyway, dedicating himself to protecting the Bookshop he thinks Aziraphale will not return too, sacrificing the Bentley he considers to be basically part of himself, spiraling into alcoholism and gambling in a desire for self-destruction, always subtextually musing about how much he needs Aziraphale in his life...

It's not like it's not romantic or not heartwarming to see how much he misses Aziraphale and how sad he is without him and how dedicated he still is to him, but… I think it's also tragic because this is not a healthy level of dedication, this is not a healthy level of self-sacrifice… But I'm afraid that GO3 only sees it as a problem as Aziraphale being at fault here. And like, for whatever blame Aziraphale holds for the problems in their relationship, he did not make or ask Crowley spend his last years on Earth sad and miserable in an alleyway, Crowley's own depression and codependence are the main cause here!

The main reason I started getting worried that this story doesn't see that Crowley's behavior isn't just romantic, but also emblematic of a real hurt that he needs to heal from is because… well… not only does he never get a chance to really show that he's ever healed past it (like I said, plenty of character flaws didn't get this kind of resolution in the Finale), his ultimate character resolution is STILL an overdramatic gesture of selfless self-sacrifice in the name of love! He just switched from sacrificing in the name of his love for Aziraphale to sacrificing in the name of his love for Humanity!

A sacrifice that was 'self-destructive' in the most literal meaning of the word, but we're supposed to see as beautiful and the culmination of Crowley's character. Because he's just so caring and selfless… and that care and selflessness has never actually being unhealthy or problematic for him, right?

And then also the only real 'culmination' to Aziraphale's arc is that he starts appreciating Crowley and giving him and sacrifice in the relationship… as demonstrated by the fact that he gave Crowley 100% full control about what kind of world they want to ask God to make next, and went along with what Crowley wanted even when it meant to wipe both of them out of existence… was the problem ever was that Aziraphale was being a 'Taker' or 'Selfish', or was it really just "yeah, he should've been Dramatically Sacrificing Everything to the Point of Self-Destruction just like Crowley always did???"

We'll have no fighting at The Ineffable Con 7 - whether you're a Good Omens S3 lover, hater, or neither, you're welcome!

Hand holding (with consent) is permitted.

Tickets from £5:

https://www.theineffablecon.org.uk/tic7/

- What did you even tell that artist?

- I wasn't...I didn't!!! I was simply trying to get Gabriel off our backs by-by planting evidence of our rivalry!

- Uh-huh

- I didn't think they'd draw me looking like a strongman!! Or...or quite so hairless...

As far as I understand, Pratchett wanted his hard drive with unfinished works to be destroyed after his death (and it was), and I also remember one of his interviews where he said that they decided against writing a sequel, although it had been discussed. Besides, if he's the author of the major plot twist in the finale, why isn't it mentioned in the credits, the way it's usually done? I checked it, in case I missed something, but the credits are as follows:

Based on the novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Created for television by Neil Gaiman

Teleplay by Neil Gaiman and Michael Marshall Smith and Peter Atkins

Television story by Neil Gaiman

And that's all. They could have said "idea by Terry Pratchett", like it's often done, but they didn't. Terry Pratchett is only mentioned as the author of the NOVEL. It's either disrespect because if the plot is based on his suggestions, he should have been officially credited (but I very much doubt that's the case), or it wasn't his idea, or it was changed so much that it can't be counted as his anymore...

Man… What was even the point of Satan being around at the Bookshop at the End of the World? The big point that Crowley tries to make that even he is not God’s equal or rival in any meaningful way, but just another card in Their game… but, like, I think that was already made perfectly clear in GO1 by just… having him show up as a Character in the Plot, while God remains the Narrator that seemingly plotted everything out.

Even trying to entertain the pretense that they might be seen as equals again muddled the point that was already made.

And why even bring up the fact that we’re going by the ‘Satan was Jealous of Humanity’ lore for the reasons behind the War in Heaven??

Then I thought, ‘Well, this is basically like a Newt and Anathema situation, isn’t it? They’re also a couple from ‘opposite sides’, a Witchfinder and a Witch, who get together but also they are explicitly Predestined thanks to Agnes Nutter’s prophecies….”

But the thing is:

Newt and Anathema’s ‘Hereditary Enemies Turned Lovers’ appeal was always pretty minimal. Newt is barely a Witchfinder, Anathema holds no ill will towards him or his ancestor, there is no real friction in their relationship around that part. The predestination part was by far the main focus.

GO1 and especially Book Omens's Newthema does give us a few nods to how Weird it is to know a relationship you are interested in has also been Determined by Unchangeable Fate.

While all the implications of Aziraphale and Crowley’s ‘Soulmates’ status in GO3 is pretty much always played as unironically straightforwardly Romantic. Even after they supposedly break away from God’s control…. “They will always be together in every lifetime and every universe” is supposed to the bittersweet but triumphant message their story ends on.

At least Newt and Anathema get to burn Agnes’ second book and actively choose to try and live together and freely. You could say Crowley and Aziraphale remaking the world and then reincarnating into Human versions who get married is the equivalent of that, but the fact that they have no conscious memory or awareness of their previous lives remove the aspect of Choice.

Also, GO1 and Book Omens are a bit more… ambivalent about the questions of the Predestination Paradoxes and how Free Will factors with Ineffability. “If God planned for everything and the Ineffable Plan cannot be changed, then this means They actually want Humans to disobey the plan and make their own destiny, so this is still part of the Plan” is the piece of Theological Bullshitting that makes up Aziraphale and Crowley’s main contribution to actually saving the world. It is a positive moment in the context of that storyline.

And in general, the tone of the ending of the Book/GO1 when it explores the idea that disobedience and Free Will are actually part of God’s Ineffable Plan is…. Maybe not in a 100% straightforwardly positive, but is definitely kinda sardonically jovial about the concept. Especially when you consider, like, the moment in the book where Agnes Nutter’s ghost chuckles with both foreknowledge and joy seeing her descendant reject her second book.

And the implication that God’s real plan might be to set the stage for a Humanist revolution against Heaven and Hell…

GO3, meanwhile, is of the opinion that this means that there is no REAL Free Will under these circumstances. This is just a hopeless rigged game that will always end with the destruction of the world one way or another, and this such a dire state and Real Free Will is so important that this is worth it for our two beloved Protagonists to kill themselves over it.

So, yeah, it does feel more discordant that the idea of these characters exploring how their Love might have been one of those things that always felt like disobedience and an expression of their own Free Will was also ‘Predictable’ to God and given by Them just…. never even comes up. Because Someone forbids these two actually get to talk about their relationship in any meaningful way in canon, am I right?

And even more discordant that the idea that their relationship is still controlled by some sort of Cosmic Force of Fate is their Happily Ever After???

Okay, but Disney movies literally do it all the time in 90 minutes. That's the norm for most animated films. It's ABSOLUTELY possible to use a ninety minute runtime wisely and make it feel like a satisfying story. You just have to make it focused and trim away the side quests unless they contribute in an important way to our understanding of theme or character.

What exactly did the subplot about Crowley losing the Bentley actually contribute? I'm not just trying to be snide here, I am actually truly wondering, what was the POINT?

(My point is, dolphins)

Obviously the answer is, it was probably one of the original six episodes that comprised Season 3, so they kept it in despite having to trim so much of it away that might have given it relevance. But why keep it in at all??

That entire sequence with the crime boss wasted SO MUCH of the precious runtime, time that could have been spent better elsewhere. Like, I dunno, maybe having Crowley and Aziraphale actually reconciling?? Or actually developing Michael's motivation as a villain?? Or giving poor Jesus an actual conclusion to his arc instead of Thanos-snapping him away before he ever "finds the lady"?

I just. I went into the finale feeling SO easy to please. I could have forgiven a rushed plot, bad special effects, some mysteries from S2 never being solved because there wasn't time. I could've even forgiven the fact that some major characters didn't make an appearance again, due to budget constraints and actors not wanting to return.

It didn't need to be Objectively Good for me to enjoy it! Truly!

I would've hand-waved it all away...if they had only given me the one thing I wanted in the end: Crowley and Aziraphale living in peace together for eternity.

Happy Pride Month, everyone

I distanced myself from the Good Omens fandom lately, and i’m sure this is not a surprise to many of you reading this post. i want to be very clear: neil gaiman had a lot to do with it. I didn’t want to show my support for a show made by an abuser. And yes, i see and hear people claiming Good Omens belonged to the people and the fans, but realistically the rights and royalties belong to ng, and participating in the promotion of it all just felt wrong to me. So, my choice was to love my favorite characters of all time from afar, and for free: reading and writing and engaging with fanworks.

That being said: I really fucking hated the fuckass movie. I wish i didn’t see it, i wish the show stopped at season 1, and if you liked it, good for you. I did not, and I want to tell you why. Feel free to ignore me.

Is that a hole in your plot?

The writing was bad. Content aside, what I wanted for this characters aside, my feelings on ng and the other writers begrudgingly aside, it was a badly written piece of television. I counted too many plot holes in the first thirty minutes aside, but i will point out what felt the biggest to me.

The opening flashback: it was hot, and that was it. Where does it fit in the timeline we already know about? It doesn’t fit with their first meeting as angels, nor with their first meeting on the wall. Why keep rewriting the first time they met? We already know how they met, twice, and besides the sexual tension, what did this new flashback bring to the story? Arguably, nothing; another case of bad wigs, maybe, nothing more. Perhaps, another instance of contradicting the book and the first ever episode: “it starts, as it will end, with a garden.” Well, apparently not.

Skipping all that nonsense in the middle (Aziraphale leaving crowley in the alley? Jesus having two lines after being promoted as the main focus of the season? The book of life burning not immediately snapping aziraphale and crowley away? Crowley having no reaction to Aziraphale confessing undying devotion to him?) let’s get to the very end. The decision the main characters come to is to erase themselves and all traces of their universe to create a new, fresh universe where angels and demons do not exist, and free will reigns above all. Two minutes after, the movie presents us two human versions of said characters meeting again, 13 something billion of years later, falling in love and all that good stuff. What we are supposed to take away from this is: they were destined to meet and fall in love in every universe, no matter the circumstances. Where is the free will in a soulmate trope? Where is the free will in this condoning of predeterminism? If they were meant to be, then free will isn’t ruling this universe. Fate is. Was it all for nothing then?

Who are these characters?

The characters fell flat. The side characters were useless at best, annoying at worst. Michael going rogue was predictable, Jesus was a nothingburger, the entire Whickber Street ensemble was just… not relevant. And the main characters were subjected to the worst character assasination my eyes have ever seen. The worst of it? That entire scene with God and Satan: Crowley never once looking at Aziraphale, not even at the most heartwrenching confession; Aziraphale talking about Crowley being amazing in the past tense; Crowley choosing something that’s not Aziraphale, after his whole entire monologue and character arc in season 2; Aziraphale accepting complete erasure after fighting 3 years in heaven against it, just because lobotomized Crowley wanted it. What the fuck?

Also, Asa and Anthony. They were cute. Adorable, really. Two cute old men (with bad hair, but i’m willing to move past this) falling in love and getting married. Cute cute cute. Who the fuck were they? They were not Aziraphale and Crowley: they were an English librarian and a Scottish professor, not the angel and demon I loved and yearned and was obsessed with for years. And again, if it were them, why weren’t they recognizable at all? In all the human AUs i enjoyed the characters were perfectly recognizable: Crowley was still moody and a bit rough around the edges, yet soft and almost overwhelming in his loveliness; Aziraphale was still witty and smart and a bit (or a lot) of a snob, yet kind and warm and loving to a fault. These two human beings were cute, but they weren’t them. Who are these characters?

The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall

The loser, in this case, being queer people everywhere. Put your daggers down and let me tell you this: it is not acephobic to think a kiss was needed in this finale.

You’re right when you say that physicality is not needed to show love and connection; in this case, however, physicality between them was already a given – they already kissed. Out of desperation, out of despair, out of sadness, but they kissed. They crossed that bridge and their relationship jumped to the other side of strictly platonic and now, for a simple rule of balance and equity in pieces of media, the ‘ugly kiss’ desperately (pardon the repetition) needed a ‘good kiss’. The finger thing could have been cute, but it lacked the depth and emotional weight to carry the conclusion of a third act.

If that was all the goobye we are going to get, it is simply not enough: they wrapped up 6000 years of history (a history they previously spend two seasons fighting tooth and nail to not erase, mind you) with a finger kiss and an awkward smile. Am i supposed to say it was good?

Also, implying that people wanted some physical intimacy between two queer characters (after it was already established) just to satisfy some sort of fetish is too disrespectful to even comment about.

A straight couple would have gotten a teary goodbye, an explicit I love you and a kiss before turning to dust. The gays get buried — or erased from existence, in this case.

Human incarnate, or the lack of it

All in all, the finale felt cheap, flat, soulless. A comedy desperately grasping onto the physycality of it but not really committing to the bit, a love story relying on the chemistry between the mains without letting them have a single meaningful conversation, a show about humanity reducing human beings to comedic reliefs, over-the-top antagonists and afterthoughts easy to erase with a snap of two fingers.

And no, no one got a second chance: Adam rewrote the universe for nothing, Aziraphale tried to fix Heaven for nothing, Crowley asked questions for nothing. It was all erased anyway, and the ones who get to live simply aren’t them. Some version of them that was paradoxically destined to meet, going against the free will they gave up everything for.

Good Omens was always about knowing your fate, and choosing your own anyway. Loving despite, loving because of, loving even if. The love between to immortal beings being what kept everything together. The characters I knew and loved would have kept choosing each other and their world, not another new one, despite everything, because of history, and even if it was the hardest thing.

They loved their world, their Earth, and deserved to live in it. On their own side. Just the two of them.

So I really didn’t like the movie, and the message it sent. I did not find it bittersweet, just bleak. And this is why.

Going forward, I’ll finish every fic I started. After, I don’t know. It may take me a while.

I keep thinking about how Aziraphale, when Crowley did not immediately leap to his feet to help him, just turned around and walked away.

He didn’t try to help him up. He didn’t crouch down to his level. He didn’t even look remotely pressed, and he left Crowley lying there, depressed and dirty and drunk and barely conscious, like he was a piece of trash. Like he meant nothing. (I also haaaaate what they did with Crowley here, but that’s another post entirely)

To think they made Aziraphale into the villain so many people thought he was post s2, and for what? To what end? For what reason? It feels so unnecessarily cruel. So callous. So very much not Aziraphale.

“But Crowley told him to go away! Aziraphale was just respecting his boundaries!”

Nah. No. I mean maybe if Crowley was just chilling having a drink somewhere all upright and not covered in shit and mired in despair, then fine. But he’s lying on the fucking street in the alley muttering that nothing matters anymore. I would argue that when someone you care about is THAT depressed and THAT deep in a dark, dark place, that is precisely the time to ignore their attempt to shove you away. At the very least you reach out to them, anyway.

Was that angel the same as this one? This soft but fiercely tenderhearted sweetheart?

Are we supposed to believe this was that same angel we watched walk away from the same demon he guided through that Edinburgh cemetery with firm but careful hands before he was snatched down to Hell?

Out of all the possible things that could’ve happened in the finale— of all the possible endings and scenarios I thought about for months and months— one thing I never even considered to be remotely possible about this angel who always looked at Crowley like he was everything?

I never thought that Aziraphale wouldn’t help Crowley up off the ground.

And apparently, neither did Peter Anderson Studio.