🏳️‍🌈🧙‍♂️WIZARD🧙‍♂️🏳️‍🌈

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

i can’t believe people ever called tumblr an echo chamber or a “hugbox”, i have never in my life been exposed to a group of people so thirsty to disagree with you. why did someone just say they wished they could crucify me bc i said i liked oat milk best. we all need to learn some lessons about friendship here

mettaspamtenna is like if the ugliest nutcracker in the world got both jessica and rodger rabbit as his girlfriends

Certified Anti-Microsoft post

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

Insomnia implies the existence of an outsomnia where you have a hard time staying awake

you shoulda seen the size of those rooms, man, it was like, floor to ceiling

fuuuuuck dude that’s class. were they wall to wall?

they were wall to wall too bruv it was mental

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday