She danced until her legs hurt and her eyes were too tired to stay open any longer. Most people had already filled out hours ago, leaving her with the usual companions and her solitude until she also decided to leave. Not looking at the few remaining guests that were laying on the floor unconscious or sleeping. The nodding to the few that were still standing was reserved for the beginning of the evening. So nobody would dare try coming up to her.

When she opened the thick wooden door, where splinters were coming off and the color had already fainted, she left the darkness behind and stepped out into the light. A new day had come but for (Y/N) the roles were reserved. The light was mocking her, holding up a mirror she couldnt look into because all the sunshine had vanished. At least the club was dark, indulging her fantasy that the whole world was dark and that it wasnt only her mistake.

(Y/N) started her way down the sandy alleys, where rubble was laying next to other humans. It was true that not only her world was filled with darkness. It just had different shades. When a drunk guy was singing old lullabies with his friends, it didnt seem so dark to her. Only a filthy grey. But if (Y/N) looked too closely she would see that the old lady who, a few weeks ago, gave spare food to strangers who couldnt afford it, was now laying on the floor trying to gnaw her own leg off to stop the virus, the world got a whole lot darker.

(Y/N) closed her eyes for a moment to feel the warmth that was radiating down on her that would get almost unbearable in a few hours. When she opened them again three guards with greyish pants and a bulletproofed vest came towards her. It was not unusual to see some people patrolling the streets but these guys were sent from wicked. The helmet they wore was too expensive and protective to belong to anyone else than the remaining citizens from the last city. They were coming for her. Wicked had found her again. Immediately she turned around, trying to escape the other way but also from that side guards were circling in on her.

Her world was still turning, her feet stumbling over each other while her breathing became labored. She needed to focus, get control over herself. A hand touched her arm, yanking her forward so that she fell to the ground. The guards were around her, pointing their large weapons at her defenseless body. They were coming for blood.

When she finally stood straight a shot was heard and one of her legs gave out while a sharp pain pierced through her thigh.

"Kill me." (Y/N) breathed out.

"KILL ME! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Followed her scream. If wicked was to take her final moments then everybody would hear it. She would fight till the end, even though she had already given up. There was no way she would give wicked the satisfaction to do this quietly.

"Or are you afraid?" A deranged laugh split her throat as she looked at the guards that still hadn`t pulled the trigger.

"Big bad wicked afraid of a little girl?" Her smile showed her teeth as if she was warning the guards not to come near a hungry wolf. (Y/N) slowly stood up, her (e/c) eyes never leaving the guards in front of her and registering every movement. The woman was playing a dangerous game.

"Stay on the ground!" A booming voice filtered through the helmet. (Y/N) tsked but obeyed, pressing her hands onto her gunshot to stop the bleeding. Her eyes found the ground, closing, preparing for her final breath while thinking of all the people she loved and lost. A rain of shots was heard but no one pierced her skin. Loud thuds followed accompanied by dull footsteps. Slowly her head lifted again and her lashes flew open only to be met with the most trusting green eyes she had ever seen.

"Youre safe now." He spoke quietly. (Y/N) nodded dumbly, all air knocked out of her. The man gently took her hands from her wound to inspect it and she just let him have it. In the background, different voices made their way through the ringing in her ears. "They should take on guys on their level." "They can never just leave us alone." Her eyes flitted over the ground, looking at the guards that only seconds ago were threatening to kill her, were now laying dead on the same mud they always spitted on. A hand gently laid on her cheek pushing her face straight again, to look at the boy that had rescued her. "Dont look at them. Keep your eyes on me." She did. He gently put a band-aid over her bloody leg.

"The bullet is not in your leg anymore, but the wound still needs to get cleaned properly. You can come with us. We can treat you at our hideout." The man stood again, his serious eyes observing the alley they had found her in.

"Where they coming for you?" It was an obvious question and a loaded one at that. He asked if they came for her specifically or if it was just a coincidence. (Y/N) only nodded, avoiding eye contact, instead fidgeting with the sleeves of her jumper.

"I understand. Im Gally. Im sure we will find a place for you." A smile grazed his lips that she could only return.

He abruptly turned around and put (Y/N)s arm gently around his shoulder while bringing his own around her upper body to steady her. The other guards had been going down the little alley to search for other intruders but returned quickly to the van that was standing just a few feet away from the massacre. Gally placed her gently on the end of their car, leaving her to find her own way into a comfortable position while the other man climbed in behind her.

"You want to adopt her?" Another guard asked, taking off his mask and showing his gray hair and serious face. Wrinkles adorned every part of it, and his cheeks looked a bit hollow.

"She needs our help," Gally whispered, hoping that the girl he barely knew, didnt hear their conversation. It was deadly silent for a moment. Both men starring each other down before the older one of the two relaxed his stance. "If we take her, she is your responsibility." "Yes, Sir," Gally replied seriously.

"Im Jack. I`m one of the crew leaders to observe the patrols around the city. Who are you?" The gray-haired man asked, lifting his eyebrows which only added more to his natural wrinkles. (Y/N) was silent, only turning her hands to find more blood on the backside. "Why is Wicked after you?" He didnt sound threatening. His voice carried understanding and compassion while his eyes held a conflict. He needed to know but he didnt want to prod. (Y/N)s eyes slowly lifted, acknowledging the man but never moving a muscle to speak. Instead, her eyes flitted over to Gally, who was already looking at her, trying to find something she would never show. Jack huffed in exasperation but let the topic go. Leaning back in the tight space and clutching his gun whereas Gally watched her for the whole ride with a serious expression.

The car drive was silent. All the guards had taken off their helmets, so slow breathing could be heard from everyone. But (Y/N) didnt lift her head to look at them. Her eyes were intensely focused on her hands which were smeared with dirt and blood. Not just her own but also the blood that was rushing out of the lifeless bodies to pool around her feet.

Only shortly after they arrived at a large warehouse. The doors to the van opened just to reveal more people in the same attire, running around and chatting. In here non of them wore their helmets. Feeling safe with the comrades they fought alongside who had probably saved their life more than once.

The crew that had rescued (Y/N) filtered out of the car to walk slowly in the same direction. Gally was the last to step out of the vehicle. Jack found his eyes and nodded towards the women they had found while stretching out a hand for Gally to hand him his weapon before he turned around and left them alone.

"I will bring you up to the medics first and then we will find you a room." The blond man explained quickly while helping her up to her feet. Together they hopped up a flight of stairs and put her on a bed that looked the cleanest out of all of them.

A tall, lanky woman stepped in. Brushing her unruly red hair out of her face and pushing her glasses up on her pointy nose.

"Someone new?" Her voice sounded cheery even though she looked like she hadnt slept for days. Caring for the wounded, praying that they wouldnt die.

"Yes, found her in front of a club. Wicked shot her." Gally explained monotonously.

The woman peeled (Y/N)s trouser leg away to have a better look at the wound.

"No worries, dear. The old grouch can stay." A laugh bubbled out of her throat that made (Y/N) untense her shoulders and relax a bit but never letting Gallys hand go through the whole procedure.

"It looks pretty good. The bullet is not in your leg anymore so I will just clean your wound and close it with some stitches. You had some luck, dear." The woman laughed while carefully treating her wound. "Whats your name?" Silence stretched through the room, curling up on another bed and making itself comfortable to stay.

"Well, Im Robin. The whole lot calls me Rob though. Are you planning on staying with us?" No words left (Y/N)s mouth but instead nodded her head slowly.

"I see. Youre not one to talk? I can talk for both of us." Robin smiled truthfully and already opened her mouth to continue until her eyes fell on Gally still standing in the room and eyeing the two women curiously. (Y/N) could see the intention in Rob's eyes, before she could even form a word (Y/N)s hand found its way to Gally`s, making her intentions clear. The doctor's gaze snapped immediately over to their intertwined fingers and a smirk danced its way onto her lips.

The blond man gently put his hand around (Y/N)s upper body while she laid her arm over his shoulders to stabilize. Together they limped out of the room and down a long corridor to the sleeping quarters. They all had little numbers messily scribbled on them or were customized with graffiti. Gally explained that it made it easier for greenies to find their room. A strange word. Greenie. A small smile tucket at her lips hearing it.

"Okay, all done. You need to keep the wound clean for 48 hours. After that, you have to wash it twice a day. Come by tomorrow morning and I will show you how to bandage your leg." Robin smiled at (Y/N), her head moving over to Gally to nod at him.

"Take her away. She is all yours. Give her a nice room and keep her safe from all the animals out there." Gallys deadpanned expression morphed into one of confusion. One of his eyebrows arched up, whereas his mouth stayed in a thin line. Robin turned with a little giggle around and left the room. Finding a new victim she could terrorize.

"This one is mine. The one next to it is free so it would be easiest for you to stay there or do you want to keep looking?" (Y/N) shook her hand and took a symbolic step forward with one of her legs, waiting for Gally to follow and get her into her new home.

Gally placed her softly onto her bed, the mattress dipping under her weight and the bedframe squeaked pathetically.

"Are you okay?" A nod and then silence followed. The man shuffled awkwardly on his feet, wanting to say something but hesitating. His mouth opened a few times but only hot air emerged.

"I will leave you alone now." He settled on, in the end. Gally turned around, ready to leave but not taking a step because (Y/N)`s hand wormed her way back into his, tugging him back, asking silently for him to stay.

He turned around and looked into her eyes. Memories were flashing him then that would stay a mystery to him but he could see her pain. Desperately wanting to have someone. So he just settled on the floor in front of her and let their interlinked hands hang between them.

The day was already going towards its end when the woman decided to speak her first words.

"Can I trust them?" Such a simple question got Gally to waver. Squeezing their hands on impulse as if to tell them everything would be alright.

"Of course, you can trust me." A shy smile grew on her face, looking directly into his eyes while answering.

"Ohh silly, I know I can trust you. What about the other guards?"

"They saved me. They gave me a life and something to fight for. I trust them with my life." Her smile never fell but a glow was added to her eyes. Tiny so nobody would have noticed but Gally had studied her the entire day and it was as if a bit of life went back to her.

"So, I will do the same."

Weeks went by and the everyday life started again. (Y/N)s wound had healed completely and Gally went daily out for patrol but always returned. They had found their own little routine. Gally just came back from his evening patrol, opening the door to his room and taking off his heavy clothing with an exhausted sigh. Life out in the streets was hard. Everyone tried to survive. They stole, fought, and killed. Betraying the community they once had. Forgetting that their real enemy had built walls so high they could never climb them. It was brutal and the peace they tried to bring and reunite all the people that got forgotten never seemed to be enough. A shy knock was heard on his door.

"Come in!" He said while pulling his shirt over his head. A small smile grazed (Y/N)s lips when they stepped foot into the room, holding two bowls filled to the brim with vegetable soup.

"I made a recipe from my mom today." The bowls were put gently onto the table that was standing in the room with two chairs accompanying it. Gally took his seat opposite her and thanked her.

"How was she?" Curious eyes looked up to him, while (Y/N) blew the soup on her spoon before eating it.

"My mom?" A nod followed, staring down at his own soup.

"She had the best recipes. She made the most delicious dishes from cheap ingredients." A chuckle left her lips. Soup forgotten at her side whereas Gally's was almost completely gone.

"She always sang these old songs while cooking. Swaying her hips until my dad joined her for a quick dance. They looked so happy together." A wistful smile played on their lips, eyes unfocused while remembering everything she had with them.

"She thought up stories and told them to me before bringing me to bed."

"She sounds like a good mother." (Y/N)s eyes snapped back to the blond boy in front of her. Crashing back into a reality she couldnt escape.

"Im sorry." Gallys frown deepened, pushing his empty bowl away from him to lean back in his chair and cross his arms.

"Its okay. I dont know my parents so I dont miss them. Wicked gave me a different family." It should spark happiness that he had found what so many were still searching for but his eyes were dark with sadness. Guilt spread in his veins like venom and paralyzed him every move. It was a lie that he didnt care. Maybe he didn`t care for his parents but he definitely for the family that he had lost.

(Y/N) was standing in the kitchen preparing supper for Gally. His favorite food was sizzling on the stove. An easy curry with rice. The meal had been done for a while but no noise from the vans driving back in was heard yet and no other hungry man had found its way into the kitchen. Instead, the hideout was awfully quiet. It appeared as if (Y/N) was on her own. Ghost's from another time chasing around her. With a gnawing feeling in her stomach, she took the extra portion she had prepared to bring it over to the medical room where Robin had been hauled up all day. The older woman regularly forgot to eat during the day, which led to her fainting in the middle of the corridor. Since that day (Y/N) had made it her job to provide food for half the guards in the building and paid extra attention to Robs eating patterns. She had a plate loaded to the brim in her hands, carefully watching her steps so nothing would spill and tumble to the floor. When she appeared in the open doorway, Rob is entranced in a paper laying in front of her, hurriedly scribbling notes on the notebook beside her.

(Y/N) gently knocked on the doorframe so as to not startled her. The doctor's hurried gaze flitted upwards, catching her smile and returning it with relief.

"Thank goodness its you." She breathed relieved, leaning back in her chair while (Y/N) placed her food in front of her.

"Who else should it be?"

"I thought they had returned from the attack and would swarm my office now." The woman lazily gestured, before digging into the hot meal in front of her.

"Attack?"

"Darling, have you not heard it? There were rumors that another gang was making trouble. All most all of the guards went out to keep the other citizens safe." Robin didn`t realize the effect her words had on the woman in front of her. Just enjoying her meal and trusting everyone would make it back safe.

Loss was nothing new. Everyone had lost someone or something. Their family, their friends, their home, their city. But some people had lost more than others. Their hope, their faith, their trust, and their sanity.

"Tha… That's why Gally isnt back yet." (Y/N)'s eyes found the floor, her world swaying, turning, and twisting to throw her off her balance. Her breath became short and rigid. Hand gripping the doorframe tightly to remain standing, while a piercing ring stayed in her ear. She couldnt remember it. She couldnt remember his laugh, how his hand felt. She couldnt remember the color of his eyes. She couldnt remember him. There was just darkness. The pictures she desperately tried to save in her mind were already trying to flee. Burning away to ashes she couldnt grasp. How would she live like that? With the distant memory of the happy life, she could have had before everything fell apart again.

He would fall, die, tumble to the ground like leaves the only difference would be that there would be nothing poetic about it.

He would fall and she would fall with him. At a different time and a different place with a different feeling but they would end up at the same place. Laying together as if it was their destiny that their fates got entangled.

"(Y/N)! Darling!" A loud voice came muffled towards her still ringing ears. Her eyes focused on a woman with red hair. She remembered her. Robin. She remembered his laugh and the wrinkles around his eyes. His favorite food and the places he felt safest. She remembered everything but still felt her life glide through her hands, shattering on the cold concrete floor.

"You`re okay," Rob stated, (Y/N) wasnt sure if she said it to convince herself or the girl that was still violently shivering on the floor. "He will come back. I promise." A promise she had no control over. The (H/C) haired woman scoffed, scratching her hands. Her body imagined a place to hide where the pain couldnt find her. Numb it the only way she knew how with a bottle of vodka in her hands and the desire to forget in her head. Instead, she nodded. Letting Robin take her hands and place her in one of the beds to sit in silence together.

"Look at me!" The woman gripping her shoulders orders.

"Breath. Do you feel my heartbeat? Breathe with it." Her tone softened, calming down with every intake of air. (Y/N)s bright red head was returning back to a healthier color. She could feel the sweat trickling down her nape and the tears on her cheeks. (Y/N) became overly aware of everything touching her body. The clothes on her body scratched and itched while the hands on her arms burned through her skin.

She mustered the younger one a bit longer before returning to the food that was still standing on her table, only half eaten. No one dared say a word. The air filled with tension that was created from the outside and would only break when Gally returned. (Y/N) looked out of the window onto the sandy streets where people crawled around like insects hoping to not get crushed by the world. She was listening intently for noises. Be it a gunshot or tires screeching on asphalt, anything to predict the outcome she didnt want to know. But the first thing she heard was a motor rumbling and people yelling even though she couldnt understand their words. Her head whipped around and her feet slipped onto the ground. Sprinting out of the room to see for herself. She arrived at the parking space, seeing everyone helping to bring the equipment back. Her eyes nervously scanned the crowd, rushing through the mass of people to find the usual blond-haired boy.

She didnt leave Gallys side for the remainder of the evening, pressing into his side. When nighttime came around the thought of leaving terrified her. Her bed seemed too empty and lonely. No one would chase her nightmares away that were sure to come. But Gally sensed her distress. Never leaving his side and touching him when the situation would allow it.

"(Y/N)." A soft voice spoke behind her, getting her to whirl around and crash into a broad chest that she engulfed greedily with tears spilling once more over her face.

"You`re back." The hiccuped, letting Gally press them closer together so she could hear his heartbeat.

"I will always return."

They settled in and got comfortable. (Y/N)s hand immediately finding his when he got in beside her. They faced each other, staring into their eyes and hoping to find answers to questions they wouldnt dare ask.

"Do you want to sleep here tonight?" Gally asked with a husky voice, pulling his blanket back and gesturing towards the other side. Huge eyes found his, scared and desperate. A small nod was the only answer he got, reminding him of their first days together when talking seemed to be too much for her. Overwhelmed by her emotions.

"I was also at wicked." Gally raised an eyebrow. Confusion and curiosity settled on his features.

"They tested if I was immune. I wasnt so they didnt send me into the maze but all the other children. Th…They hurt them. Put them through horrible tests and I couldnt do anything. I was so helpless. When they didnt need me anymore they send me out into a world I didnt know. I lost everything all over again." Gally scooted closer, engulfing her in his strong arms and feeling her breath against his neck. "I tried to save them and get them out but... I failed. I couldnt save a single one. That`s why wicked was after me."

"Thank you." He took a small break, a calming breath leaving his mouth. "For trying."

Gally was sitting at the edge of the roof, feet dangling in the air while he stared straight ahead. His hands held onto a white stone with a smooth surface where a sun was carved into. Reminding him of his promise to never give up and keep going. He didnt know who he had promised. Didnt know who he belonged to and what feelings to associate with it but it is the only memory wicked let him keep. Or it was just the only one that was too strong for them to take. The stone had been in his pocket since the day he arrived at the glade. His only personal item besides the clothes on his body. It was his and he kept it safe. Promising every evening that he would see the sun the next day.

Light tapping of feet was heard behind him, closing in on his figure. Someone else placed themselves next to him, their feet finding their space next to his not afraid of falling. (Y/N).

"You like this place." She stated bluntly. Keeping her eyes facing forward onto the huge gray wall illuminating the landscape. The difference was significant. The outer parts of the city where they lived were in ruins. The flare spreads uncontrollably, leaving people to die of poverty and sickness. Whereas the wall hid the rich and lucky. Mocking them with their cage of metal. The last city was majestic in Gally`s eyes. The buildings were so high and bright that they seemed to grow bigger the more often he looked at them. This wall reminded him of everything he was fighting for.

"They took everything." Silence made its way between them. Motionlessly listening to the sounds that the wind could not carry over the barrier. Wishing they could listen to something but the screams of agony coming from the streets below them.

"Yes, it always reminds me of my goal." The wind picked up, flying through their hair and moving their clothing in rhythm.

"They took a lot from you, didnt they?"

"In the Glade. At first, everyone was afraid of me but Alby. He gave me a chance so that I could show what I can do. I started building with the other few boys we had back then. The fear shifted to respect. I didnt realise it back then but they became my family. Until Thomas came. He scared me so much. His whole recklessness. It felt like he wanted to take my family from me." He laughed dryly, his hands still holding motionlessly onto his lucky charm, never wiping away the tears escaping his eyes.

"Now look at me. I was the one who destroyed my family. If I would have just made different decisions. Maybe Chuck would still be alive and we would be together." His voice never wavered. Glad to finally speak the truth that had taken countless nights of sleep from him. The shame was thrumming in his veins never stopping to flow. His head cast downwards, tears falling onto his dark trousers, not able to taint them.

(Y/N) breathed slowly. Her eyes watchfully examined the desert that lay before her.

"It hurts." Her gaze swept over to Gally. "I know. I wont give you the same empty phrases. It hurts to lose what you just wanted to protect. But for all the boys that died in the Glade, Wicked set them up for it. The selfish desire of rich people did that to you." She took a breath, trying to compose herself. "You shouldnt blame yourself. It`s not your fault."

Her hand gently lifted, wiping the tears away that Gally had stubbornly ignored. Her hand lingers on his cheek, stroking over the freckles gracing his face. When he finally turns his head, looking at the girl that was smiling sadly up at him he surged forward. His right hand met the asphalt to keep them steady where as his other one held her face gently. His chapped lips found hers just for a delicate second. Retracing quickly only for her to chase after him, holding him close.

Their days didnt get easier. Life kept on going dragging them with, but it finally felt like they had a purpose. Something to live for that wasnt hate or revenge. They lived for their future, for love. They lived for each other. Realizing that no one would fight their battles besides themselves.

"You`re okay, Rob. Lets move to the bed." The redhead clung desperately at (Y/N). Her legs barely worked and gave out again when the gunshots rang through the hideout. "Lay down. Relax for a bit. I will find out whats going on." She squeezed her hand gently, pulling a blanket over the shivering woman before rushing out of the room and down the corridor to find out what was happening.

Their routine didnt change much. Gally went out for patrol every day. Getting better and earning the trust of the other soldiers so that his rank increased. Directing small groups of guards through the city like the leader he was. It was a sunny day. (Y/N) was helping Rob in the infirmary. Moving the injured and bringing the medications the other woman had brewed. Until she heard loud gunshots ringing. Robin was on the ground in seconds. Holding her hands tightly over her ears and shaking violently.

She found Jack, the guard from the day they had saved her, in the radio room. Turning around immediately when he heard someone enter.

"I want backup down at the garage!" He hollered while marching straight in that direction the woman hot on his heels. "Stay behind me. I cant let anything happen to you, darling." He smiled genuinely before pulling down his helmet and gripping his gun tightly when he heard the screeching of tires. The first van arrived and the guards swarmed a dark-haired male, a blond boy, and a woman with short hair. They stayed at a reasonable distance but pointed their guns directly at their faces. The second van wasnt as peaceful. Grunting and screaming could already be heard when they just drove in. When the doors open a soldier and a man fall out of the van who was punching him violently. Immediately the three teenagers swarmed around them. The girl spoke calming words that got the foreign man to let go.

"Whats happening?" (Y/N) was a little out of breath, gripping the doorframe tightly while her eyes zeroed in on the gray-haired man. "The shots came from the wall. There is a mass panic down in the ruins. But Gally and the others are okay. They reached out via funk. They are on their way with a few extra men. So stay back until I deem it safe." His voice was professional, filling the tension in the room with orders and making his way already outside before (Y/N) could answer.

"Where all on the same side here!" Gallys loud voice broke the tension, bringing all eyes to him.

"What do you mean same side? Who the hell are you?" Gally hesitated for a moment before pulling down his mask.

"Hey, Greenie." The new arrivals looked at him shocked. Eyes wide, mouth trying to form words that just wouldnt come. The first to react was the dark-haired man. He leaped at Gally and punched him straight in the face which made them both fall over. Jack was immediately at their side ready to pull the stranger off but before he could the blond one spoke up. Soothing words reached his companion so that he let go of Gally.

"I can help with that. Follow me." Gally turned around ready to lead the group deeper into the hideout. Angry and disapproving looks were exchanged between the man that had attacked Gally and the blonde one.

"H...How is this possible? We watched you die" "No, you left me to die, and if we hadnt found you when we did. You would be dead right now." Jack untensed his stance, lowering his weapon a bit but still ready to kill if anyone made a wrong move.

"What are you doing here?" Gally continued.

"Minho. Wicked has him here. Were looking for a way in."

(Y/N) sprang out from behind Jack, pushing her way forward through the other guards only to stand in front of Gally and examine his face. Her hand was reaching out but centimeters before touching she backed away.

"Are you hurt?" Her eyebrows drew together in concern, looking behind Gally to see the others had stopped walking as well and were watching them intensely.

Lawrence was an intimidating man. He didnt give up without getting something in return. The deformed man was always out for profit. He was greedy and (Y/N) was sure if he had the luck to stay at Wickeds side on the other side of the walls, he always tried to tear down, he would have forgotten about all the poor people as well. Putting his greedy hands against a clean window to watch the people, he was now protecting, burn.

"I`m fine." (Y/N) mustered him for a few seconds. MInho was a familiar name. Gally had talked about him repeatedly. They seemed to have been some kind of friends in the maze but the people he had thought his family had left him behind to die.

"Dont be reckless. You dont have to save everyone." Both of them knew how dangerous it was to get into the last city. Few had tried and non of them had survived. It was a suicide mission and Gally knew it.

"I need to save him." He whispered, his eyes desperately searching hers for an ounce of understanding. But before he could find it, her eyes drop to the floor and her head shakes in disappointment. He carefully reaches for her hand and squeezes it softly. Reassuring her that he would not leave her alone in this life. She was not meant to see all the horrors of life by herself.

"I will return. I promise." Their hands fall lifeless between them. Gally rushes past her to show the Gladers the way to Lawrence, their doom.

When the conference was over. Gally, Newt, and Thomas got ready to scout out their way to the last city. Leaving Brenda, Jorge, and Frypan for leverage behind. Brenda was finding a seat next to (Y/N) in what appeared to be the kitchen space. The wooden chair creaked under her weight but the mysterious woman never lifted her chin.

Gally spoke for the group of newcomers. The dark-haired man, named Thomas, offered up his blood to heal the sick man temporarily. While they discussed some details about their deal (Y/N) stood in the background watching the group of strangers.

They didnt pay her any mind besides the girl. She felt (Y/N)s presence in her back, staring intently at them. Determining if they were a threat. Her eyes flickered over every person when someone shifted but stayed longer on Thomas. She looked at him as if he was the pest. waltzing in to destroy her dream. It was clear she didnt trust him or any of them.

The night dragged on. (Y/N) feared it would be bright again before they returned. Making it harder for them to slip from shadow to shadow and disappear into the darkness. They could get noticed by Wicked without them even making it near their friend. But abruptly the door flew open and the three stood healthy and safe in front of them.

"Do you think it will work?" They didnt look at each other. It was obvious they were talking about the idea of freeing their friend from Wicked. Ignoring every sign that told them to stop, to turn around and run, because if they took one more step they would fall into the depths of hell and couldnt crawl their way out like the last times. "Its reckless and stupid." (Y/N) retorts, hoping Gally would still hear her disapprove even though they were already picking up their bags. Her eyes tried to scorch the skin that was on his spine while he was busy leaving the room, to break into a city with enormous high-security measures. After they were out of earshot (Y/N) picked up her voice again.

"But they will not stop until he is out. Gally is their best bet." She turned her head towards the brunette, smiling sadly up at her.

(Y/N) sprang up, to wrap her arms around Gally and feel his muscles tightening around her while his heart beat against his chest.

Everyone found their place around a large table. Silence filled the air. The three men were just staring down at the table whereas the others were mustering them curiously. Frypan was the first to fill the empty void.

"Well, did you find a way in?" Thomas glanced nervously at Gally, shifting on his feet uncomfortably but never speaking up. Gally sighed exhausted. The bags under his eyes were prominent for having been out all day.

"Its Teresa." (Y/N)s head lifted. She knew that name. Memories of a dark-haired girl flashed through her mind that could not be older than her but had already lost her heart. Everyone was afraid of the flare. The disease creeping into your bones, stripping you naked of all they had been before. But what terrified (Y/N) the most was the empty eyes of people who had lost too much. Their heart was emptied out. Feelings thrown in a cage that nobody could open. She had seen that in Teresa when they were barely children. Teresa never had a consciousness. Selling her friends out to get what she needed. She was a vicious beast in disguise.

"No, there has got to be another way." His voice was rigid. He was pacing back and forth. Ready to carve his way inside if he could leave the girl that had betrayed them more than once out of harm's way.

"Like what? Youve seen the building, she is our only way in." A bit of anger seeped into his voice at Thomas stubbornness to discard his plan. "Do you really think she would just help us?" Frypan spoke up from his side of the table, gesturing lazily at the blueprints in from of the group. "I dont plan on asking her for permission." Gally chuckled lightly. (Y/N) would have expected them to look surprised or mildly uncomfortable but no one batted an eye at the statement of the soldier.

A beat of silence rang through the room. Tension seeping in and creating a fog no one wanted to walk through.

"Am I missing something here? This is the same girl who betrayed us, correct? Same dick?"

"I like her," Gally stated, letting (Y/N) and him agree on at least one thing that night.

A gasp left Brenda when Newt pressed Thomas against the fall, screaming at him. Saying without needing to even utter the words that he had failed Minho because they had trusted the girl he loved. (Y/N)s hand immediately found Gallys. Seeking warmth and comfort from the only person that would not skin them alive if they had the chance.

"What? Are you afraid your little girlfriend is going to get hurt? Hmm? This has obviously never been about just rescuing Minho." The blond's eyes were blown wide, his fingers tightly balled to fists while his nails dug into the flesh of his hands. The tension in everyone's body seemed to rise. Holding them all in a choke hold, not allowing them to breathe.

"What are you talking about, Newt?"

"Teresa!" Newt screamed at him. Leaping off his seat, that fell with a loud thud to the ground. He charged across the room, forcing Gally to shift unconsciously in front of (Y/N) to block Newt's view of her. Being a protective wall between them.

"I mean, shes the only reason why Minho went missing in the first place. Now we finally have an opportunity to get him back and what?"

"You dont want to because of her? Because deep down you still care about her, dont you?" Newt spat in his face, body shaking heavenly while panting, trying to get air into his exhausted lungs. "Just admit it." The boy sounded defeated. As if he had lost all purpose and hope for following Thomas, just repeating the same actions if the man was never able to sacrifice something.

"I`m sorry." He turned around. His head faced the ground before rushing off and leaving everyone flabbergasted.

"Newt." Thomas breathed out. His eyes stayed on Newts with a shocked expression. Searching for the source of the angry display. "Dont lie to me!" He screamed. Shoving Thomas once more roughly against the wall, making (Y/N) flinch.

"Dont lie to me." Came it dangerously low, threatening the boy with these simple words. His posture suddenly changes. Regret flashed through his eyes when he slowly lets go of Thomas.

"Im sorry." He whispers towards the boy he had just attacked with eyes that were unseeing. It was as if he had forgotten himself and someone else possessed him for the last few moments, so he could remember but couldn't control.

No one of the remaining people dared to move. They were staring at each other or after Newt. Gally only loosens his grip on (Y/N)s hand after Newt had been gone for a few minutes.

"I will talk to him." Thomas was the first to talk and rush after his friend. Everyone else stayed as if they had been turned to stone. Not talking just existing and hanging in their own thoughts, They didnt look at the blueprint but were just staring into space to find a purpose to keep going, to keep fighting, because this had felt more disastrous than anyone was prepared for.

"I will join your mission."

"Absolutely not." Gally turned abruptly, staring into (Y/N)s determined eyes. The battle was fought silently, not one of them breaking eye contact before Brenda spoke up. "I could use help with the kids." Gallys angry gaze swept over to her, ready to set her aflame while the woman in front of him smirked. Knowing he could not leave her behind.

(Y/N) put a giant pot in front of the Gladers. Having cooked for them so they would all be healthy and prepared for the days to come. They filled up their plates and started eating silently. Thomas and Gally were wrapping up the last details of their plan after Thomas had decided he would use Teresa to get their friend back and bring Newt back home safely and healthy.

They waited till the next evening. Letting everyone rest until they would start with their plan. (Y/N) was laying in Gallys arms. Following the lines on his hands and breathing deeply into their proximity.

"Sooo, you and Gally?" Brenda started, picking innocently at her food, only looking up at the corner of her eye. (Y/N)s cheeks flushed in rosy pink. It didnt go unnoticed by the other girl but she waited patiently for confirmation, so she nodded quickly.

"W…what? Gally? Tall, tough guy Gally? Always a scowl on his face Gally?" Frypan squeaked next to her. His cutlery limply hanging in his hands, food forgotten over the conversation they were having.

"So he was a softie all along," Newt smirked. Only stopping shortly his meal before continuing. Brenda didn`t even bat an eye at the stiff girl in front of her, just silently enjoying the information she got on the stoic glader boy.

"I need you to be safe." She whispers.

"Right back at you." (Y/N) scoffed.

"Im not as reckless as you." Gally chuckled lowly, burying his head into her nape. She smiled wistfully. Knowing she finally had what she always wanted. Her mind was at peace before she fell asleep.

The next day was hectic. They were trying to get everything in order before they would go to the city and had to fight on their own. Lawrence has offered to help. If Gally gave them a way in and placed an electrical device near the power box, they would hack into Wicked`s system to put a record over the cameras and let them walk through the building almost unseen. When the world became dark around them, the three boys once again climbed through the manhole cover to get into the last city and leaving the rest to wait.

When they came back a woman stumbled in front of them. Dirty sack covering her face to keep the way to the hideout anonymous. Newt placed her harshly on a chair, ripping off the sack to give a face to a disheveled Teresa. Her eyes moved around the room, scanning the faces of her kidnappers.

"Gally?" Teresa panted loudly, her eyes focusing on the believed dead glader, who sighed heavily.

"Here is how this is gonna go: where gonna ask you a few questions and you will tell us exactly what we need to know. We'll start off simple. Where is Minho?" Gally leaned against the table. His face not showing the emotion that was brewing inside of him. All the anger, sadness, and fear locked behind an expression no one was able to read. He pushed himself to a standing position. Grabbing a chair and slowly walking towards her.

"You guys don't seriously think…" Teresa's eyes were trying to outrun Gally. Moving around to find kinder eyes, fixating on Thomas when they made eye contact. Gally dropped the chair harshly in front of her, sitting down. His eyes bore holes in her skull. Intimidating her to get what they need.

"Don't look at him. Why are you looking at him? Look at me. He's not gonna help you." A heavy silence filled the room. The air was stuck in Teresa's lungs, too scared to crawl up her throat, out into the world to face the angry man in front of her.

"Well, I don't know. We don't necessarily need her, right?" Gally stands up and spins his chair back to the table. "Not all of her." He grabs a knife from the table, pointing it threateningly at her. "We just need her finger." No smile was playing around his lips to show he enjoyed the theater. Because for him she was once one of them. They had the same fate. (Y/N)s eyes suspiciously shifted over to Gally. Her eyes left Teresa for the first time since she had walked into the room. She knew how much pain she had put all of them through. She could see it in their gestures and the words that were tied back behind a tongue. Sewn up to the tops of their mouth and staying with them forever.

"Now we know you have Minho in the building. Where?"

"He is with the others in holding. Sublevel 3."

"How many others?" Newt spoke up from behind Gally. His posture was just as unreadable as the other ones. The kind smile that Teresa appreciated on her first days in the glade, was chased away by shadows.

"28."

Brenda turned to them. A small smile played at her lips before speaking: "I can make that work."

"No, no you guys don't understand. The whole level is restricted. You can't get in without a thumbprint ID." The tied-up woman scrambled to say. Trying to keep her friends safe but also all the progress they had made.

"That's why you are gonna come with us." The man she loved spoke up for the first time. No empathy or recognition showing through his stone-cold face. She had lost him. Had lost them all. For the hope of letting strangers survive. Would she change her decision if she could?

"Gally, back off," Thomas spoke up. Letting the love he held for Teresa shine through.

"You getting squeamish? I can guarantee you she has done a lot worse to Minho."

"That's not the plan. Back off." Thomas stood up, taking Gally's knife from him without the other resisting.

"Won't make a difference. Do whatever you want to me. You still won't get through the front door. The sensors will pick you up."

"We know, we're tagged. Property of wicked. You're gonna help us with that too." Thomas walked slowly over to her, holding the scalpel towards her. She nodded, silently complying and letting Gally untie her. She takes the scalpel with shaking hands, not looking up until she hears steps rushing towards her. Recognition flashed through her eyes when she saw the woman in front of her. So different but no doubt one of the girls wicked had tested. She was older. Her eyes were hard and her lips downturned. What had happened to you, little bird?

"Ill go first."

Thomas and Newt went with Teresa, whereas Gally and (Y/N) joined them through the underground garage. Making it look casual instead of closely planned. They took the staircase to get to the upper levels to meet fewer people while the cameras are still working. On the ground floor was the electrical box Gally had to open and station the hacking device in that Lawrence gave them. It was a risky plan, sawing the electrical box open in the middle of the stairs. (Y/N) obsessively checked every corner multiple times, clutching her gun between her hands. Fearing someone would come up and shoot them without them even getting near Minho. But Gally did quick and efficient work, having placed the device only a few minutes after them arriving on the floor.

After all of them got their tags out, Gally brought Teresa into another room. Locking her in it without furniture and windows. Preventing almost every option for her to escape or kill herself, while the others got ready. Everyone loaded their weapons, strapped knives onto their body, and Gally, Newt, Thomas, and (Y/N) disguised themselves as guards. She was checking her gun again. When Gally spoke up:

„Stay close to me.“ It was a scared order. Is eyes were trained on the belt, hands trying to tighten it but being unable to move properly. He huffed exasperated when he didn`t hit the hole again. (Y/N) stepped forward, taking his hands in hers, so that he had to acknowledge her. His soft eyes found hers and no words were spoken. She smiled softly, squeezing his hands to reassure him that she would be safe before Gally stepped away and set the plan into motion.

The whole level looked sterilised. No kids were living in these walls but prisoners. Milked until every last drop of them would benefit another human instead of them. They could die if it meant keeping the wealthy alive.

“Let's go.” Gally nods towards the staircase, pulling down his helmet to keep up his appearance while they rushed upstairs to Sublevel 3.

Newt and Thomas opened the heavy metal doors that kept the children from freedom. (Y/N) stayed at the entrance, looking out the doorway to alarm them when new guards were arriving. Promising to keep the children safe that have already given more than they should have.

They stormed the room the children were stationed at. Shooting the guards working for Wicked that were meant to protect the precious serum. It was immoral. Housing them in small cages where they could barely stand. For Wicked, they were objects meant to be exploited.

Part of a conversation trickled into (Y/N)s ear, limiting her concentration for a moment.

"Someone moved him up to the medical wing. Thomas, that's on the other side of the building." Teresa spoke hastily.

"Okay, take me to him. Right now."

"Let me come with you." Newt sounded worn out. Getting tired of wearing heavy clothes and running around a huge building. The disease was clearly getting to him. Painting his face in an ashy gray. He looked like he had already died, only stubbornness keeping him alive.

"No Newt, you're not. You stay here with Gally." Thomas replied. Worry laced his voice while he already moved towards the door.

"You can't do this on your own. Minho comes first, remember?" The fragile boy grabs his arm. His grip was not strong but reminded the other how strong they could be together. Maybe they couldnt win but at least they could fight. Their lives were intertwined and if separated would not be as promising.

"I will stay here with Gally." (Y/N) spoke up from the doorway, lifting the burden of a decision off Thomas's shoulders. Newt nodded at her thankfully, rushing past her to save his friend.

Creakingly the massive steal door opened, Gally rushed in and filled a little bag with glasses full of blue liquid. When the blond steps out and the door falls slowly close behind him an alarm starts going off. Red lights on the walls started flashing, signaling them to find their way outside.

As the others rush off, leaving the couple alone, the children start to mutter over each other. Their faces tense with their mouth half open as if a scream wanted to crawl out of their mouth and they fought it with desperation. (Y/N) turned around halfway, acknowledging the fear present in the room.

"It's okay. We're here to save you. But stay quiet please."

"Okay, we need to get outta here. Now. Stay close to me. Stick together.” Gally stepped forward, addressing the children with clear instructions they would be able to follow in the chaos that lay outside the door, waiting for them.

“You. You guard this with your life, you understand?" He gave a boy that was standing at the front of the group the serum. Before he takes off, leading Wicked`s property outside. (Y/N) stays back, making sure everyone left the room before covering the back of the group.

He took out his walkie-talkie, sending a quick message to their escort: "Brenda, where are you? We are here." Only a moment later a bus drove in front of them, showing a smiling Brenda who immediately opened the doors and helped get the children in, who eagerly scramble inside.

They reached the garage without many complications. Gally stopped abruptly letting the kids be covered by a connecting wall. His eyes roamed towards the other side of the huge parking space, breathing heavily from all the running.

"Stay low. Go go go." Gally lifted his hand, signaling the kids to run in front of him so he could watch the other people on the other side. When all of them are in front of him, he falls in step with (Y/N) and they run alongside each other until they reach a safer spot.

(Y/N) prayed he would find the others quickly and return to them. But her hopes were crushed when shortly after their departure guards appear close to them. In a hushed voice, Brenda tells the children to get down, hoping they will turn around and leave. Slowly they make their way toward the vehicle, guns raised. Brenda looks back at (Y/N), her eyebrows raised in a silent question. Every scenario was rushing through her head. The possibility to leave Gally behind to die was a heavy burden in her heart but she nodded. Her responsibility was bringing the scared children, clutching tightly onto each other, to freedom. Far away from Wicked so they would be safe.

"Where is Thomas?" Brenda asked puzzled, her eyes searching for her friend.

"I thought he was with you," Gally responded, sending the last child into the bus before focusing on the stubborn girl, who was already leaving the bus.

"Wait, wait. Stay here with the kids. Just wait. I'll find him."

“I will come with you.” (Y/N) decided but got a stern look from the man in front of her.

"Stay here. Wait with Brenda and guard the kids. I will come back I promise." His eyes are swimming with fear. Desperate to know that she will be safe until they arrive. His eyes pleaded with her to just give in. Which she did. Knowing they were only losing precious time, so she nodded, before stepping close to him.

"Stay safe." She gave him a quick kiss, hoping to show him that she needed him to return to her, before hopping on the bus as well. Gally pulls down his mask, clutching his gun before jogging back to the wicked compound.

Shortly after they left the wicked building behind, police cars appeared next to them. Chasing them through tight streets, with Brenda trying to shake them off. The bus swang to every side, aspiring to hit the police cars. Brenda turned into a different street, praying to finally get away, only to race towards a barrier, packed with cars and armed soldiers. Brenda reacted immediately, doing an emergency breaking that jolts all of them. They were panting heavily, hearts racing against each other while their bodies were still. No one moved afraid of breaking down.

"Sorry Thomas," Brenda muttered but it got drowned out by the starting motor.

“Hold tight, kids.” (Y/N) spoke loudly while Brenda pushed the gas pedal, making the guards in front of them scramble out of the way before they started driving through the city.

The trailer of the crane dropped in front of her. (Y/N) reached for it to secure it onto the front of the bus. Bullets flew next to her, trying to let at least someone suffer for all the damage they had caused, but the bullets just went past. Not even grazing her. As soon as (Y/N) is inside, the bus gets lifted into the air. Everyone getting pushed against their seat, while (Y/N) held onto one of the handrails in the front.

“Get out of the vehicle!” A voice bellowed.

"Give me the flashing light." Brenda shook her head vehemently. Clutching it tightly to her chest.

"Brenda, I have the bulletproof vest. Give it to me." Her grip faltered slowly. She never offered it up to the other woman but instead, she had to take it. (Y/N) held the light in a white-knuckled grip, stepping out of the bus without looking back at the immunes. She would leave them to Brenda.

"Step away from the vehicle. Put your hands in the air. Drop the weapon."

(Y/N) took slow steps until she was in front of the bus, raising her hands in the same fashion before smirking and firing the flashing light into the sky.

A red light engulfed the night sky, her eyes twinkled pleased. Finally, she was able to return what Wicked had done to her. A few years ago she was incapable of saving her friends. She failed, but she would make sure to give the children packed on the bus a chance for a new life.

When they reached the top height, Brenda whooped. Happy to finally be out of danger, only to get her hopes crushed by the loud creaking of the bumper. Frypan drops them fast outside the city, just stopping a few meters before they hit the ground. The bus falls forward with a loud crash, deafening the screams of the children. When they reached the ground safely, loud panting was heard throughout the vehicle until Brenda's loud voice broke the deadly silence.

A loud explosion is heard that shakes the ground. Everyone scrambles outside, seeing the last city burn with flames. (Y/N) imagined she could hear the screams. They wanted to save and know they helped to destroy. In this world, nothing would ever be without a cost. Without regret and doubt. They would always try to save only to see the world burn again.

"Okay everybody out."

They walk the last few meters over scorched land to the hideout but when they reach it nobody is there.

"Lawrence!" Brenda called out, hoping for a reply.

"Everyone is gone." (Y/N) spoke out the thought, nobody dared to. Her home was abandoned. All the people she had considered family left, without knowing if they would ever see each other again. She could imagine they were preparing for a war against Wicked. Without caring for all the lives they would take. Without caring that Gally was still in there.

"Just get the others. Get everybody out."

A cracking noise was heard from the walkie-talkie that sparks hope. Brenda answered immediately.

"Thomas, you there?"

"We're not gonna make it."

He sounded out of breath and out of hope. Screams and gunshots could be heard from the other side, making (Y/N)s eyes sting. Her heartbeat racing, trying to sprint towards the burning buildings itself. "What are you talking about?"

"No. I'm not leaving you. So forget it." (Y/N) could taste the sour panic in her mouth. She could not stand to watch, to listen. Her feet gave in, making her fall to the ground unceremoniously. She couldnt lose Gally. Not again. He was her life. She couldn't survive it for a second time. Her breath became rapid. All the memories of them together flashed through her mind. The future they wanted laying dead in a casket with cold hands and ash skin. She wouldnt survive it. A loud noise erupted next to her, bright lights she couldnt place making her eyes squint. Strong hands were on her, helping her up from the cold stone floor but she couldnt make out their voices, their faces. Everything was a blur until someone placed a hand over her heart.

“Youre safe. We`re all gonna be okay. We will get them out of there. Help is here.” Frypan spoke slowly toward them while (Y/N) lifted her head to look around. The scenery had shifted towards a metallic aircraft, flying them towards the high flames. Towards Gally. Relief painted over her face, letting her close her eyes before the airplane landed and she had to stand up again. The war was not won yet.

They waited anxiously. Brenda's eyes were glued onto the tunnels, the way the boys should come from. Whereas (Y/N) was pacing around, picking at the skin around her fingernails, while watching the flames climb higher and higher.

“We need the cure!” Minho panted. No air was left in his lungs for talking but Brenda didn`t need to reply. Racing towards the tunnels herself with the boys and (Y/N) closely behind. Gally and (Y/N) were the only ones left with guns, taking over to cover the others from attacks.

“There!” Frypan screamed, pointing at two running figures. (Y/N) breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Gally but her heart plummeted when she couldn`t spot Thomas and Newt anywhere.

The city was a mess. Cars were turned around, windows smashed and whole stores set aflame. Corpses were scattered around, while more were added to it.

(Y/N) drags herself behind the others. Her feet getting heavy and her brain hurting from all the screams and lights. A piercing pain ripped through her body. A scream ripped through the bright night sky while her hands clutched her abdomen. Getting stained with wet, red liquid. Her eyes were blown wide, looking forward to Gally who stood paralyzed a few feet in front of her, sprinting back to catch her before she hit the ground.

They took cover behind a car, (Y/N) shooting behind herself to get rid of a wicked guard that had been following them for quite a while. The others took off before the guard got hit by one of the bullets, leaving (Y/N) to fend for herself. The man falls shortly after. His eyes became lifeless while blood is trickling out of his wound.

They lay together on the ground, people moving around them but unseeing. His lips were moving, but she couldn`t make out his words. Her eyes slipped shut when she felt Gally encircle his arms around her.

The ocean was crashing. Whispering tails of heartbreak and love. Birds chirping above it, to add details. It smelled salty and clear like freedom and peace.

But her eyelids were heavy, refusing to open, while her body dragged her back down to darkness. It was war, fighting. A battle she couldn't lose.

She slipped in and out of dreamless sleep. Accompanying her until she felt ready to see the new world. The world they had created.

Slowly her eyes opened, registering the grey ceiling above her, it looked trist and old.

Wind swept through the open door, flying over her face, gently tickling her awake. Forcing her to move her head and acknowledge the blue paradise outside of her shed.

"Hey." A voice rasped beside her. Her eyes blinked blearily to focus on the man who had stayed at her side.

"Hey." Her voice was croaky and broken but it reached its destination. A tired smile played around his lips, while he took her hands.

"I missed you." Gally gave her a glass of water that was already prepared at her bedside table.

She nodded in gratefulness and tried sitting up, but a jolt went through her body, making her wince in pain. Hands automatically reached to her stomach.

"You got shot at the last city." He gently helped her to get her upper body straight. Positioning it gently on the pillows. Before bringing the glass towards her lips.

"Rob did everything she could. She saved you." His eyes were downcast. Avoiding her eyes.

"It's not your fault."

"But it is."

"There was nothing you could have done."

"I…I should have taken care of you. Looked out better."

"Gally, there is nothing you anyone could have done." (Y/N)'s eyes were truthful. Her face gentle with no regret etched onto it.

They sat in silence. Thinking about all the smoke and gunshots filling the air a few days ago, while the waves gently tried to wash away their sorrows.

"We're safe now. The boat got ready today. We will go to the safe haven this evening." Gally spoke up. His voice was a hopeful whisper. He that if he spoke of it their luck would run out and they couldn't reach paradise again.

A peaceful expression reached (Y/N)'s face. She let her eyelids fall shut again. A sigh that was trapped inside of her for years finally found the light of day.

"I will bring you to paradise. I promise." Gally cupped her face, breathing a kiss onto her forehead.

"You have said that before, you know? When we were children." (Y/N)'s expression never changed. Unconcerned about the secret she had just revealed.

"When we were Children?"

"Mhh, I already met you at the wicked camp." Her eyes opened abruptly, facing him again. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." She studied his expression but his face remained stoic not showing what he felt.

"I don't remember."

"That's okay. It was a long time ago." Her body relaxed at that.

"Is that why you trusted me when we picked you up at the ruins?" She nodded. Their memories fluttered through her brain chasing each other and creating their relationship.

"I fell in love with you again."

"I fell in love with you too."

Her eyes closed. Smiling warmly. Her mind felt at ease. The pain in her abdomen not hurting as badly as it did moments ago. Warmth spread through her body and she thought if dying felt like this she would enjoy it. Because it smelled like freedom and peace and love.

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Satori. Happy birthday to you!” Before her silvery voice could finish the song the boy in front of her started weeping. His face scrunched up until a stream of tears followed. His mother gently placed the cake on the fully decorated table, just to crouch down next to her boy and hold him tightly. “Ohh honey, I´m so sorry.” His tears were soaking into the fabric of her wonderful dress but she didn`t budge. She didn`t push him away or reprimand him for ruining it. Satori was just a child desperately wanting to feel loved and if his friends couldn`t do that, then his mother would need to step up. “Why didn`t they come?” His little hand still clinging to her form while his pleading eyes were looking right through her. How should she answer that? How should she explain to her son that his friends were playing with his feelings, trying to torture him? “I don`t know, darling.” She tried smiling, lifting the corners of her mouth but it couldn`t reach her eyes, because she knew. They both did.

Every year after that he tried again and again. But no one ever showed up to his birthday parties. After that, the first day of middle school was the chance he had been waiting for. He was bouncing with energy, ready to make everything right. When his mom pulled up to school to drop him off he saw all these unfamiliar children. The reason for all the nervous tugging and quickly looking around from others, was the reason Satori's heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, accompanied by a big smile. Nobody knew him here. Nobody to ignore him, pretend to be his friend but call him names behind his back. It was finally going to be better.

His mother tried to give him a reassuring smile, holding his hands for a second too long with clammy hands while saying goodbye. As soon as her boy turned around running over to the other kids going to his classroom, her smile fell and she started nibbling on her bottom lip. Nearly making it bleed again after doing it repeatedly for the last few days. He was gonna be alright. Satori bounded into his new classroom. Eyes sparkling with excitement. Finally, after everything he would find friends. He could join a sports club to find people that had the same interests as him. They could train together and go to tournaments. He would be just like everybody else.

One of his little hands was reaching for the doorknob of the classroom while his other one was holding the strap of his backpack. Squeezing it occasionally to contain his excitement. The door was pushed open and a few heads turned around with big eyes. Nervousness radiating off them to see who else would be in their class. Satori's smile stretched over his whole face, showing his teeth that were still a bit too big for his mouth. His eyes scrunched together a bit. His eyes scanned the crowd for a place to sit, waving shyly at his new classmates that were still watching him until his eyes landed on them. Two boys, who seemed ohh so innocent but were the demons his nightmares were made of. His supposedly friends, which ignored him, talked behind his back and called him bad names at the end of primary school. They were everything he had wanted to avoid for his new beginning. "Hey, look who else is here?" Akui pointed out. He was a plain-looking kid. Dark hair falling over his face and almost hiding his small brown eyes. He was gesturing towards Satori, making the other boy at the table next to him turn around. Yumekuis freezing cold eyes fell on him and a wicked smirk danced along his features that had to look so innocent to everyone else seeing their interaction.

"Hey freak, nice to have you back in our class." The glint in his eyes darkened while he waved toward Satori and made a gesture to the table in front of them. They wanted him to sit with them. It wasn`t a friendly request so they could all be together. It was meant to be Satori's slow execution. He wanted to torture everything that Satori stood for. But he sat. Even though everything in him screamed to stand up, to run, to fight, to cry, to do anything but sit. He sat. Moving mechanically and not moving a muscle after he had found his place. He was paralyzed. The cruel truth of destiny had shown him that he could not outrun his fate. All other children would have been ecstatic to see a familiar face in the same room as them but for Satori it was a nightmare come true. Satori had thought weeks before stepping foot into his new classroom that things would be finally better, but after a few months, he realized how horrible it was going and that nobody had his back except for himself. And even he wanted to give himself up so badly and put a knife in his heart to end it all. The pain and suffering. The feelings. From day one everyone was against him. He became the monster. The soul-sucking demon nobody was allowed to touch otherwise you got a disease.

It was the second period. Their teacher had written a math problem on the blackboard and tried to explain a new formula to solve it. But it was hard to listen when little paper pieces were stuck in his hair and occasionally wet pieces found their way to his forehead. Satori was never sure if someone used water from their bottle for it or just their own saliva. His table was filling up with garbage from every side. But their teacher stayed oblivious. Never calling the other students out and putting an end to the battle against the monster, as the other children often called it. As if he was a demon that would steal the happiness out of their lives and they had to fend him off.

It never ended there. Throwing garbage was just the beginning and as the months progressed his classmates grew braver. Putting his binders into the trash followed by his backpack. They stole his homework and pulled down his pants. It was exhausting. He was always waiting for the next attack. A new move they would pull on him to hurt him. It didn`t matter what he did to prevent it. They were always there. Watching him, waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack and humiliate him. All their eyes were always on him. He could even feel them at home in the own comforts of his room. Middle school was hell and Yumekui was the reason it got created. The redhead was at the top of the mountain called loneliness and was just a slight push away from rolling down the other side, plummeting into a deep, cold lake that would finally freeze him. An end that he could already see from the top. It didn`t take long as the last push came. He was a stone that got kicked down, so it could sink into the darkness.

It was a Thursday afternoon and the sun was shining mercilessly down onto the courtyard. From the window, he could see children playing basketball or hide and seek. They all had huge smiles plastered onto their faces and even the kid that fell a second ago, was already on his feet again when one of his friends stretched a hand out to him and helped him up. Satori also needed someone to help him up. He joined the volleyball team of his school to find a person that could understand him. Instead, he found his talent. A passion that had kept him alive for longer. One that gave him hope. They had training on Thursday afternoons but as he wanted to grab his bag full of sportswear, he grabbed into nothingness. His bag was not where he had left it. The emptiness of the coat rack was taunting him. He could already see the disappointed and pitying eyes of his mother when another binder got lost or his backpack broke again. But losing his sportswear was worse because he knew he would have never misplaced it. Volleyball was his dream. He would never be so careless as to jeopardize it. The snickers coming from the last remaining students in the classroom also confirmed it. He hadn`t misplaced or lost it. It got stolen, because everyone hated him and no one wanted to play with him. No one could endure the satisfaction in his eyes when he blocked another spike and finally had the upper hand. So when they had a chance to take away his safe space. His paradise. They stopped at nothing. No feelings or expenses were spared because for them he didn`t deserve it. Satori went with hanging shoulders out of the classroom, eyes fixated on the floor so nobody could see the tears dripping down his cheeks. He was just a boy scared his whole life would be similar. Full of people that didn`t know him but hated him for his looks. He was scared that the bullying would only get worse, with no one to rely on but himself. He walked slowly down the corridor. Thinking about just going home, skipping training when anyways nobody wanted him there. Or if he should go to the gym, make up an excuse about forgetting his sports clothes. Standing his ground and showing his classmates that they couldn`t take that from him. But would it be worth it? To arrive there and only see disgusted faces. Two girls were coming his way, whispering their words and snickering quietly. They had something to do with it. Satori could see it in their eyes. They knew and they didn`t look at him with pity, they thought he deserved it. Until screaming was heard from the end of the corridor.

A girl was standing with their back towards him, gripping a bag that looked incredibly familiar while Yumekui was holding onto the other end. "Stop it! These are not yours!" The girl pressed out. Her whole face was red for exertion but her hands were not budging when Yumekui tried to rip it out of them once more. Satori walked closer to the action to confirm what he already thought. A girl he didn`t know was fighting for his gym clothes. Yumekui's hardened eyes lifted and fell automatically onto Satori. Immediately he let go of the bag and put an annoyed look on his face. Letting the girl stumble back but smile in victory. "Tsk, whatever. Keep this dirty thing." The boy tried to sound nonchalant but failed with the look he threw one last time at the pair before turning around. After he was gone the girl sighed in relief. The last tension was leaving her body before Satori spoke up and she went rigid again.

Kakashi Hatake at the age of 5, shortly after his father died. They were playing along the riverside when they saw a boy bruised and panting. How could they have known the consequences this encounter would have? Some call it fate. It linked all the human lives together to send them their biggest support and greatest downfall. The boy seemed to be the same age as them but his eyes were a lot harder. They could see the tragedy radiating off the boy and it was their time to help. Carefully they approached the boy with silver hair. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Their voice was small and shy but their eyes met his straight on. Never backing away from the challenge. "Can`t you see that I am training?" He snapped, turning his back to them and returning to train his combat. Ignoring the lifeline the universe was sending. "That`s so cool. Can I play too?" He whisked around, hatred in his eyes masking the hurt. "I`m not playing and I don`t need weak children dragging me down." His nostrils flared and his stance got wider. "But it would help you too if you had a partner, right?" The boy's eyes widen, relaxing his stance and eyeing the person in front of him suspiciously. "Can you fight?" "No, but you can teach me." A smile stretched over their face, while a sigh left the other one. "Fine, take a fighting stance." He already took a few steps back from them, to gain a decent distance for fighting them properly, before he got interrupted once again. "Wait, I don`t even know your name." "Kakashi Hatake."

Through the following months (Y/N) was ecstatic that they found one of the names on their leg so early in their life. It was rare to know the person who would inevitably have a huge impact on their life. Call it naive or foolish but they thought they could change fate. Either they would have a long time with their soulmate or they could convince Kakashi to not kill them. Kakashi was also the reason for their successful admission to the academy. Were they would meet the second name tattooed onto their leg.

Obito Uchiha.

A foolish boy, quite the opposite of Kakashi. But could never hurt one of his friends. The first time they laid eyes on him, they saw him arguing with no one else but Kakashi himself. Kakashi standing in front of him with bored eyes and a witty comment on his tongue with his arms folded in front of him, while the brown-haired boy opposite of was him fuming with rage. Throwing insults at the other to wipe the smug look off of his face. "Kakashi, did you already make a friend?" A smile on their lips, incapable of imaging the tragedy that would strike their whole little world. "Hardly" He scoffed in reply, turning around, trying to walk away. "Don`t you want to introduce us?" Their eyes were sparkling with positivity. "I can speak for myself! I am Obito Uchiha and I am gonna be the best ninja one day!" Their eyes went wide at the words of the other boy. They had found both of their names. It could be a possibility to change their future and let them survive. But uneasiness followed. They stood beside their true love and their killer. How should they know who would be who? Staying away wasn`t an option. Losing time with your soulmate, because they were scared, was cowardness. But knowing the one who would take your life, intimately seemed cruel. "(Y/N) (L/N). Nice to meet you!" But no other choice could be made. It was their cruel destiny to know and love them.

Years passed and while they saw them grow up together the possibility of one of them hurting them vanished in their head. How could Kakashi ever hurt them when he brought them homemade food after they came back from a long mission? Why should Obito kill them when he was always lifting them up after hard training? How could Kakashi be their soulmate when everything he was interested in was being the best ninja possible? How could Obito ever see them if his eyes were so focused on Rin? How should they know who was their soulmate when both of them felt more like home than anyone ever did before?

But their paradise shattered when the third shinobi world war started and everyone was sent to the front lines to fight. It was brutal. Corpses were laying everywhere and no family was being spared from losing someone dear to them. It was a massacre. Team Minato became, during this difficult time, the mission to destroy the Kanabi Bridge, which would cut a vital pathway for the supply of Iwagakure and would give Konoha an important advantage. But carrying out this important task came with problems and with the inevitable death of Obito Uchiha, what (Y/N) learned through Minato Namikaze.

They had officially lost their soulmate. They were never given a chance to fall in love and built a life together because they were taken from them at such a young age. (Y/N) always believed it was a blessing to know the people written on their legs from such a young age but now they wished they would have never known him. Because knowing what can never be but they so desperately want is a greater pain than never knowing them at all.

The war ended but never did their pain. They kept their distance from Kakashi not knowing how they should react to the boy who will murder them when he had just lost a teammate and a friend he tried to save desperately. A tragedy accompanied by a promise which couldn't be kept and an eye that would always remind him of his failure.

Kakashi was blinded by his pain and the guilt to have survived when he couldn`t save anyone else. Shutting him off and isolating himself for a punishment he didn`t deserve. (Y/N) knew he was hurting himself more than he needed to, trying to destroy himself to get a reason to leave this world behind and drown in everything he ever did wrong. They couldn`t look him in the eye and not see the boy who trained with them, hold them when they killed their first shinobi or celebrated with them their first successful mission. There was no hatred towards the boy who understood the pain of losing your friends. How could they hate him when all he did was be there? He was not guilty of killing them yet. His whole world was falling apart, which means it was their responsibility to help him build it up again.

One morning they stood in front of his house. Nervous but with the best smile they could muster and knocked. (Y/N) couldn`t hear anything. No footsteps tapping on the floor or doors opening and closing. It was silent until the front door abruptly opened and gray hair popped up in front of them. "What are you doing here?" His raspy voice sounded bored. Troubled they were in front of him unannounced. "We are going to eat some ramen." (Y/N) stated bluntly, gripping Kakashi's arm and tugging him outside. "No, I don`t have time for this." "Yes, you do! I haven`t seen you in ages." The copy ninja pressed his feet into the ground and stopped walking. Forcing them to turn around. "Stop babying me! I don`t need this!" "Then stop pushing everybody away!“ They screamed, saliva flying out of their mouth, falling to the ground with a sound they couldn`t hear. Similar to the way Kakashi would drop to the floor without anybody hearing. „Why do you care?“ Kakashi spat back. „Because I care about you and I need you!" Shouted (Y/N) „You`re not the only one who lost someone. I need a friend as much as you do. So stop arguing.“ They sounded defeated. Ready to turn around and never look Kakashi in the eyes again but they didn`t turn. Just stared straight at his dark eyes. Never afraid of the gate to his hell. He nodded, trodding along to his salvation. The seasons changed and new years came around. Konohas politics shifted. Some things for the better and some for the worst but certain traditions do not. (Y/N) just came back from a long mission, exhausted and half starving after they had protein bars for days. But as all the times before, Kakashi never failed to prepare a proper meal for them. He invited them back to his house and started chopping some vegetables.

"How was the mission?" Kakashi asked curious, his eyes never leaving the cutting board. He was wearing the apron Gai got him for one of his birthdays. On it were different dog breeds, dressed in woolen jumpers and scarves. At the belly, it had a big turquoise pocket Gai thought was efficient. "It was okay. Not much going on but if some of my teammates could work a bit faster I would have been here days ago." They groaned, putting their head on the table. Kakashi chuckled while he put all the ingredients in a pot. "As long as your back safe." They couldn`t see it through his mask but he smiled. His eyes crinkled close and even though he had done that a million times. Cooked for them a million times and turned around with the exact smile. It felt different. Warmer. As if the sun was ready to come out after a long and cold winter to chase away the frost biting at their skin. They have felt it for a while but ignored it till the sun got hotter. Their souls may not have aligned when they were children but they were meant to be perfect for each other. They were created to fit together like the last pieces of a puzzle finally finding its place. They were everything they ever needed. "I always come back safe." They smiled nervously. Not seeing Kakashi as what he should be for them but the opposite. Pushing their true feelings aside to not forget what will inevitably happen.

(Y/N) build walls so high that nobody could ever climb them. Holding them up so the gray heard ninja never had a chance to come closer. If he would, they knew their heart would not stand a chance. Killed by their lover what a tragedy. A burden they could not put on him. A burden they didn`t want. They were destined to be alone in this life. But Kakashi still got the chance at the happy ending he desperately craved. He never talked about his soulmate. Letting everyone believe he didn`t have one but how could a man like Kakashi not get their one true love? (Y/N) knew for years what was best for both of them. They should live without each other but how could they have left their best friend alone in a time of crisis? It was too cruel. But it seemed he didn`t need them anymore. (Y/N) could distance themselves slowly. He would not realize. He would not miss them. So they did it. They didn`t ignore him but kept their distance. They were around but never too close. (Y/N) would become a shadow in his life. Making space for the next person. For his soulmate. After missions they would decline his invitation for a meal, stating they were too exhausted. They were still present but never there. It was a loneliness (Y/N) couldn`t cope with and empiness they didn`t expect. No one missed the one who would kill them. Beside (Y/N). He was their air and they were drowning. Yappsing and flapping trying to reach the surface only to never do. They had to admit that Kakashi was more to them for all these years.

Unknown to them Kakashi felt the same. He worried about them, not understanding why they would push him away. He couldn`t handle losing another person. He needed to speak to them. So he waited in front of their home. Knocking on their door to get them to acknowledge him and they did. Perplexed they opened the door, furrowing their brows and keeping their mouth in a straight line.

"Kakashi, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" "Why are you avoiding me?" "Wha... What are you talking about? I`m not avoiding you." Their face turned to the side, avoiding eye contact while scratching their earlobe. Kakashi's eyes were slitted. "Then why did you turn down all of my invitations? For years you always came over after a mission and now you suddenly stop?" Kakashi's voice rose in volume. "Saying you are too tired? That`s bullshit and you know it. You fell asleep multiple times on my kitchen table."

(Y/N) couldn`t look him in the eye. It was too painful seeing all the hurt reflecting in them. They would have loved to close the door and hide in their apartment until Kakashi forgot about them. But as if he could read (Y/N)`s mind he took a step closer. Towering over them with a hand in the doorframe. "We can`t see each other anymore." Their voice was a whisper, hoping to be carried away by the wind so it wouldn`t be true. "What?" His eyes were wide. His voice carried surprise. "We can`t see each other anymore." (Y/N) spoke louder, looking Kakashi directly in the eyes, showing him they were serious. A chuckle came from the silver-haired man, getting louder and louder with every passing second. "You can`t be serious." "Why not?" Their scream rang through the whole street, multiple people turning around but walking past anyway. There was hesitance in Kakashi's eyes. His hand gripping the frame harder, grounding himself, to tell the truth for once. "Because we`re soulmates:" His eyes were locked onto the ground, voice just above a whisper, forcing (Y/N) to acknowledge him. "Why do you not what to be mine?" They were perplexed, their eyes flitting around his face trying to discover the lie. But looking at him being so vulnerable. They knew he was telling the truth, what made it even more heartbreaking that they could never be. "You`re going to kill me." Kakashis head shot up. "(Y/N), I could never." "I believed that too but Obito is my other name and he has been dead for years. I lost my soulmate and fell in love with my murderer. Irony, isn`t it?" Their mouth stretched wide over their face, giving them an insane look while they blinked tears away. "Either I am your soulmate as well or I was always destined to be with my pain. I couldn`t live with it. How ironic it would be to have your pain be your soulmate and be killed by it." "Pain is the second name on your leg?" (Y/N) asked curious, being answered by a nod. "Yes, but I could never love it. It was always you and it will always be you." "Kakashi, I... I." All their words were robbed from straight out of their mouth. "I could never hurt you." "Neither could I hurt you, Darling." A small smile graced both of their lips. Knowing they would always have each other, that they didn`t lose their soulmate in the past or just a few moments ago. They would be alright. (Y/N) dropped the walls in a momentum of euphoria and hope, crashing into Kakashi's broad chest, while slinging their arms around his neck. "I love you. I love you. I love you." A deep throaty laugh ripped out of Kakashi. But this time it was genuine. He finally had someone to come home to. Someone to call his own. A soulmate. "I love you too."

The sky was already dark when Kakashi came into their shared apartment, bruised and bloodied. He had been assigned mission after mission for the last few weeks. Konoha needed to look strong in front of the other villages. The armistice treaty was already negotiated and the third shinobi war officially ended. But still, the peace was fragile and barely started. It would be foolish to not station parts of the anbu at the border, ready to take out everyone threatening Konoha and the safety of the peace treaty. Kakashi tried to be quiet to not wake his partner sleeping in the next room. But the house was old, floorboards squeaking and even though Kakashi had lived in the Hatake compound his whole life he didn`t want to memorize the squeaking boards his father had died on. He shuffled forward, opening the wooden door to the master bedroom to see (Y/N) snoring away on their bed, their favorite book laying open beside them. The gray-haired ninja smiled to himself. How could he be so lucky after everything? Kakashi knew he wasn`t a good person. He hurt people he loved and people loved by someone else. But looking at them peacefully made everything he did look as if it had a purpose. He needed to make the armistice treaty a success so they could live in peace. "Kashi?" A croaky voice sounded from the bed. Small eyes looked up at him. "Yes, it`s me, darling. Go back to sleep." He rushed to their side, sitting down on the bed to brush hair out of their face. "No, I want a kiss." Their eyes were already falling close but they opened again when (Y/N) couldn`t feel their soulmate move. Kakashi giggled quietly, moving his hand toward his face to remove his mask.

Pulling it down at a slow pace, afraid to make himself more vulnerable and be judged. The moonlight shone directly onto Kakashi`s face giving (Y/N) a great view of his features. His face was soft and untouched except for the large scar running over his left eye. A small mole laying directly beside his mouth. The ninja closed his dark eyes, moving closer with his face uncovered to finally feel their soulmate's lips, but he was stopped. Gentle hands holding his face in theirs. Watching him intently, trying to memorize every possible feature.

"You`re beautiful." Their voice was a breath flitting across his face. Kakashi didn`t answer, just smiled while kissing the palm of their hand which was still laying on his face. Carefully they moved his face closer to theirs. Closing their eyes, feeling his breath on their lips before they finally connected. Every emotion poured into the kiss shared between two lovers in the comforts of their home.

The warmth was leaving the planet. The sun went down to signal it was time to put the weapons down and return to their loved ones. But even if the sun send all possible signs Kakashi`s way he ignored them. Pushing his genin Team to work more, to work harder. He couldn`t risk that they got hurt again after their last mission. It was his responsibility to keep them safe. He couldn`t fail. Not again. So he pushed them to their limits. Showed them combat technics, training their chakra control, every possible way to achieve an advantage on their opponent but it never seemed to be enough. There would always be someone smarter, more skilled. Simply better, and losing them was a possibility he didn't want to think about. But with the sun going down so did (Y/N)`s patience. They were always waiting for him at home. Preparing breakfast and supper, only for their lover to skip it and rush immediately to the training field. They could understand his pain and agony. Trying to prevent what had happened to him so many times. But Kakashi was getting paranoid. Loading his back full of responsibility he wasn`t meant to take alone. Looking out of the kitchen window to see the last rays of sunshine but no sign of their soulmate made them finally leave the house to get him. Meanwhile, Team 7 was sitting dirty and bruised on the grass, panting heavenly while listening to another lecture from their Sensei. The children could hear them from far away. "KAKASHI HATAKE!" An earsplitting scream rang over the training fields. Commanding all of them to turn around. A raging person dashes across the field right toward them. Cold sweat was breaking out of Kakashi's pores while he awaited the inevitable arrival of his partner.

"What are you still doing here? I have been waiting at home for hours! I accepted it the last few weeks but I`m done. You need some rest and your students also have a life. Everyone is going home now!" Their gaze was murderous. Kakashi didn`t dare breathe much less talk back. So he nodded, hearing a relaxing sigh from (Y/N) that made them untense their stance a bit, until Naruto spoke up. "Who is that?" His question was innocent, a curious kid asking who was screaming at their Sensei but (Y/N)`s head whipped around to Kakashi once more. Their eyes become snake-like slits. "You didn`t tell them?" Their voice was quieter than when they arrived. The fire of their entrance extinguished and replaced with a winter cold enough to freeze if you stayed in their presence too long. "I`m sorry." "They are your genin. They need to know who is teaching them." "I just don`t want to get you in danger." (Y/N)`s features softened. Looking at Kakashi with understanding and love. "I know but I can take care of myself." The silver-haired Jonin nodded, ignoring the confused stares of his students. "Do you want to introduce us?" A long sigh was heard from the man. Shifting his focus toward his new team. "This is (Y/N). My soulmate." "Your what?" Rang it from the three children simultaneously.

The world was shaking around them, ready to break down at any moment. Buildings shattering on the ground and taking hundreds of humans with them. Screams pierce the sky that should be filled with laughter and birds. All the ninjas were fighting Pain. A symbol for all they had lost and all they had taken. What an irony that Pain would be the one to kill them. When (Y/N) heard the name fall from another ninja's lips, explaining who was attacking them all the light in their eyes went out. They realized Kakashi was never meant to die of his own pain but the pain someone else suffered. They were not ready for this day, not ready to lose him, not ready to be alone again, not ready to suffer again. They went out, wanting to fight, when Katsuyu came with a message from Tsunade begging them to help out in the hospital. (Y/N) knew it would be the only thing they could do. Fate had decided on the day Kakashi was born he would die at the hands of this man. They couldn`t change fate. (Y/N) was meant to love him, not to save him. In all the books they always asked if the universe fights for souls to be together. But can someone fight the universe to be with their soulmate? The hospital was overflowing with the injured. People lay in the corridors and waiting rooms, wherever they could find space to rest and hope for treatment. Sakura was running around trying to help everyone without a pause to breathe. "Sakura, I`m here to help. What do you need me to do?" The older jonin crouched down next to the pink-haired kunoichi, expecting orders. "Next to Room B15 is a ninja badly injured but I don`t have enough chakra left to heal him. Make him survive." They nodded, running along whimpering shinobis begging for their help. They were fighting off the exhaustion after the third dozen citizens they healed. They tried to get every ninja back out to the field to help destroy Pain but it was useless. Only more people flooded in, trying to find a safe space. (Y/N) had barely healed a stab wound bleeding profusely as their heart cramped. All the oxygen got sucked out of their lungs, leaving them a heaving mess on the hospital floor. Memories of Kakashi flooded their mind while their organs were cutting each other off. They could only see silver hair and a smile so warm, they thought he had never been hurt. They could hear nothing but his deep voice promising them to never leave.

(Y/N) got brutally ripped back to reality when Sakura turned them around, examining them worried while putting their hand over the Shinobi's heart. "Breath with me. You`re okay. If you need a break you can take one. Don`t exhaust yourself too much." Her voice was a river splashing in the background. Trying to ignore it, but it would still be there in a second of silence, bringing them back to the present. (Y/N) was yapping for air, feeling all eyes on them. "Breath with m..." "He`s dead." They croaked, looking back into confused eyes. "Who`s dead, (Y/N)?" Sakura left her hands on the other ninja's arm, steadying them. "K...Kashi." Her face fell. Pain and understanding flashed across her features. Her beautiful green eyes stared at them in shock. Tears welled up in their eyes but never fell. Sakura had to keep the composure (Y/N) had already lost. She didn`t console them, didn`t tell them it would be alright. They had lost a piece of themselves, falling to the ground with all the debris outside. "Do you want to look for him?" The kunoichi asked, surprised eyes flashing up at her, followed by an enthusiastic nod. "Go. We can manage without you. Just... don`t get yourself killed." "I won`t. Thank you." (Y/N) wandered around aimlessly. Nothing was left of Konoha. Pain left nothing standing. Destroying all streets and houses. Littering the grounds with lifeless bodies without a care. It was a sunny and warm day. Children would have been playing at the park, couples making a picnic at the river, but they were laying on the dirty floor, eyes wide open but unseeing with blood running over their foreheads. "Kakashi." They breathed out, seeing him laying under rubble, ash covering his beautiful silver hair, making it look gray. He seemed so peaceful. His eyes were closed and no wrinkles covered his forehead. (Y/N) fell on their knees right beside him, not minding the sting they felt on their skin. They cupped his cheeks, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. He was asleep, trying to doze a few more minutes before he had to face the world and its troubles again. Only a moment before Kakashi would hold them again, telling them everything would be alright and he would always be by their side. But (Y/N) was the one waking up from their dream. Only to realize their soulmate was gone, leaving them behind in a cruel world to fend for themselves.

„You always called yourself a monster. Seeing the fear in your comrades eyes that was meant for you and not their enemy. But, Kashi, you were never a heartless monster destined to destroy. You died, saving the same comrades who would have let you die at the bottom of a cliff. You were never scum. Always just a hero of the leaf village.“ A small smile grazed their lips while tears ran down their cheeks and a sob broke out of their throat. "I remember when you let Team 7 pass. You came home that evening with not a scratch on your body. I just stared at you. Utterly shocked you let them pass." (Y/N) chuckled, reliving the evening when they finally realized Kakashi had found his team. "A few days later you came back home to tell me how annoying they were and asked why you did let them pass. I laughed so hard because you had never looked so stressed in years but also as proud." They paused for a few seconds. Taking deep breaths and closing their eyes, laying their forehead on his. "You should see them now. Giving everything to save the village. They are proud you were their Sensei. I can see it in their eyes." They faltered. "I was proud to be your soulmate. I hope you know that." Tears were falling onto his face, washing a bit of grim off it. (Y/N) didn`t bother to wipe them away, because they were not meant to stop. They gripped his hand, holding him for a bit longer before he inevitably would slip away from them forever. "I can`t believe I lost you." They were sitting by his side for hours. Never leaving him while Naruto fought against Pain. Their focus is on Kakashi as it always has been. Never acknowledging the people beside them. Choji came to tell Kakashi he did what he had told him. He carried out his last wish in the hope to save the leaf village. But looking around made everything they did seem useless. So many lives were lost for the pain of another man.

A rumble was shaking the earth. Everyone was expecting to finally see their end when Pain would come back to finish all of Konoha. But instead a large puppet emerged from the ground. Green light spewing out of his mouth and flying around the citizens of Konoha. It was a beautiful sight. (Y/N)`s head lifted and watched intently when the light went back to all the killed people. Resurrecting them and bringing them back to their loved ones. Their eyes flashed hopefully back to Kakashi as the light also engulfed his body. They felt a squeeze at their hand until the silver-haired ninja opened his eyes slowly. "Kakashi." The name quietly left their mouth with a sob following close behind. Their arms circled around his body and pulled him close so they could feel his beating heart again.

The land was ridden bare. No life was seen near the battlefield. The animals fled, the flowers were trampled on and the humans lay lifeless on the ground. It was a bloodbath. They attacked from different fronts, trying to separate the alliance. (Y/N) looked around panicked. A brutal attack from one of the enemies had separated them from Kakashi, leaving them alone and vulnerable. Anxiety was gnawing at their heart. They couldn't focus without knowing where their soulmate went. What if he would be the next lifeless face they saw? But then the ground shook, the shinobis still fighting, stopped trying to regain their balance. Their eyes wandered over to a huge statue made out of wood. The mouth was torn wide open. But there was no time to wonder what had just emerged from the ground. A few enemies were still standing, fighting mercilessly to stay alive. (Y/N) had to help her comrades.

After all enemies were fallen, their eyes went back to the monster still standing a few kilometers away from them. It had multiple eyes staring emotionless down at the fighting ninjas. It was a tool to fulfill their plan. Stopping at nothing and seeing the resistance of the fighters only as an obstacle. But the picture changed, the head of the statue changed. Turning in circles and shrinking as if it was absorbed. A name was breathed out of their mouth: "Kakashi." Only a single man would be capable of sucking in an entire head without coming too close. They had found him. A sigh of relief was breathed but it only lasted shortly. Kakashi`s eye power was limited, sucking his chakra greedily out of him. Horrifying images rushed into (Y/N)`s mind, where his body was halfway covered by rubble. They couldn`t relive that day. They couldn`t lose their soulmate again.

They rushed over, choosing to ignore the ache in their bones to help wherever they can. (Y/N) stumbled directly into the fight. Seeing Gai attack the man known as Tobi with his nunchakus giving Naruto a chance to come from behind Gai and surprise him with a Rasengan. The Rasegan disappeared centimeters before the attacker's body and the yellow-haired boy slides through the man that should have been hit with his attack. Confused Naruto looked back to see his attack hit the enemies shoulder time-delayed. "Kakashi, what is happening?" They called out, sprinting the last few meters toward the little group. A relieved smile crept unto his face. Hidden from prying eyes but still showing in his own way. The hardness fled out of his eyes. Bringing a little bit of warmth back when he turned around to his soulmate.

"I always thought he had two jutsus. One to suck in and one that lets him glide through but it`s just one. Part of his body that is about to get hit, changes the room-time." "But how did the injury happen when he is not in the same room-time we are in?" Naruto asked coldly, never taking his eyes off the enemy. (Y/N) had never seen him so serious before. "I think our eye-jutsus are connected. He got injured when I used Kamui so the Rasengan and the knife would disappear. At that time both of them were in the same room-time which made it possible for him to get a wound." "I have never heard that all eye-jutsus are connected," Gai stated. "Because they are not. Just ours." The silver-haired copy ninja whispered, attracting a confused glimpse from (Y/N) but before they could react, Kakashi had already asked his question: "Where did you get your eyes from?"

A low chuckle was heard from the masked man in front of them. His posture relaxed, certain of victory and just playing with his prey. "I got them from the last World War. To be specific from the battle at the Kanabi bridge. The one you afterward got celebrated for as Kakashi the copy ninja." With every word the man spoke his voice lost its humour, instead sounding more angry. Kakashi and (Y/N)`s eyes met for a split second, communicating with a glance what both of them thought. This man had stolen Obito's right eye, which was squished under a boulder. The silver-haired ninja's mouth opens once more to respond but the mysterious man cuts him off before he could make a sound. "Speak carefully, Kakashi of the Sharingan. Your words have no meaning. I first have to create a world where a hero does not have to spew excuses in front of a grave." A few drops of venom were lacing the man's voice. Attacking their soulmate with words so personal, they were meant to cut Kakashi open and let him bleed out to die. All eyes were on him. Naruto's confused eyes watched intensely as his sensei was falling apart. His eyes were blown wide open, staring down at the ground. His mouth opened and closed trying to breath air in but failing miserably. (Y/N) had seen enough of these episodes to know the invincible man would break if nobody reminded him to come back to the present. "I`m here, Kakashi. It`s okay." Their hand slowly reached for his, giving him a chance to pull away but squeezing gently after he accepted the gesture of comfort. Shadows were chasing each other in his eyes while he stood shaking and had to endure the pain once again. Hearing the scream of agony and the pleas for mercy. They grabbed his face, forcing his view upwards so he had to acknowledge (Y/N). Their back was facing the masked man. All their focus and love lay on one person, with the trust that their comrades would protect them in this vulnerable situation. Naruto stepped forward, speaking towards the man formerly known as Madara but they couldn`t hear him. The world around them, even though in an uproar, was silent for the moment. Getting Kakashi to not avoid their eyes so they could help, chase his shadows away. The sound was coming back to (Y/N) after Naruto attacked and Gai tried to encourage Kakashi to help his former student. Kakashi could sense when his protegees were in danger. He snapped back to reality immediately. His gaze shifted from Gai to Naruto in a second just to make sure he was alright. That Kakashi was not too late again. That he had not lost another person which he loved and cherished. He could not live with another tragedy. At one point it would even be too much for Kakashi of the Sharingan. The man who had lived through a thousand tragedies silently. "Let`s fight." Determination was glistening in Kakashis's eyes, brushing (Y/N) hands off of his face to step forward. Tobi was flying in the sky while Naruto jumped at him with Rasengan in hand. Steelpillars were shooting out of the air, hitting the Hachibi and Naruto. (Y/N) could imagine the smirk on the enemy's face. Having destroyed Naruto's shadow clone without anyone laying a hit on him. Kakashi had tried again to let the attack through his eyes disappear but the masked man would not fall for the same trick twice. Exhausted the jonin fell to the ground, unable to move his body anymore.

"Kakashi!" A worried scream ripped out of their throat, kneeling next to their man but they had barely time to catch their breath and get Kakashi back on his feet because Naruto straight away followed with a biju bomb putting everything he had against the enemy. The whole ball of black chakra engulfed his body but he slipped through it, simply changing his room-time. Helplessness was etched onto their face. "How can you destroy a man like him?" Their voice was barely a whisper. Tiredness spreads through their body, connected with defeat making it a dangerous combination. "Have faith, (Y/N). Naruto has a plan." A smile was stretched onto Kakashi's face. A pained and exhausted smile, but a smile meant to give hope. Kakashi was sure Naruto knew what he was doing. They nodded, believing the man that had been by their side their whole life. A startled gasp left Gai as the tailed beast bomb dissolved into nothing and the masked man stood in front of them once more. His masks had gotten cracks. It had broken, falling to the ground and shattering even more. The face they looked at seemed so familiar. Only older and more bitter. There was not a single happy memory left in his eyes. Just devastating pain. Their breath grew rigid, not noticing Kakashi next to them, who was falling apart once again. The world was shaking around them, the edges getting blurry while (Y/N) tried to stay steady. All warmth was leaving their body while their stomach was trying to not empty itself. The sight in front of them was beautiful and painful. "But you already died." (Y/N) didn`t know how these words had left their mouth when it felt incapable of forming them. The numbness was spreading through their whole body. Only left standing because of the instinct to always protect their soulmate and the man in front of them was still their enemy. Even if long ago he was their friend. "When you were alive, why didn`t you come back?" Kakashi's voice was unsteady, ready to be shattered by a breath of air. His hands were clammy and sweat was running down his face. He tried holding onto (Y/N)`s hand but it seemed to always slip away. There were two names engraved on their leg.

Obito Uchiha.

Kakashi Hatake.

One to love them and one to kill them. For years they thought (Y/N) lost their soulmate young or the universe made a mistake. How could Kakashi not be their soulmate when they fit perfectly? When not being together felt like a thousand needles being rammed into their body for them to walk on. If Obito was alive it meant their love was true. They were perfect and their whole life had not been a lie. If Obito was alive it meant (Y/N) would die. They would die soon from a man they thought was their friend, their soulmate. It meant Kakashi would be alone again and he was not ready to live another tragedy. "It didn`t matter if I was alive or not, but if you ask I will tell you: because you abandoned Rin." Every emotion left, spread across Kakashi's face. He could feel everyone's pain. His own, Obitos and (Y/N). He could feel everyone's tears. Everyone`s broken hearts. He had failed them all. "It`s hard but don`t make that face." It was not meant to give Kakashi comfort. He said it to hurt. To cut deeper and open old scars while inflicting new ones. It hurt but the silver-haired Jonin knew he could cut deeper. "Don`t you want to accuse me?" A genuine question, trying to understand. "What would be the point to blame you in such a surreal reality? The world will vanish soon. I`m no longer interested in it." A scoff was heard from beside him. Kakashi stared down at the ground while he listened to his soulmate's words. "You`re no longer interested in it? You`re not god. You`re a petty child. It`s hard to lose someone you love but it does not give you the right to punish everyone." Venom was laced into their voice. Remembering all the tears that were dripping down their face when they thought they had lost him. Every word tipped in pain and suffering because of all the fights they thought they had missed with their soulmate. Every thought coming back where they doubted Kakashi and their connection. Doubted Kakashi was meant for them because the universe does not make mistakes. "I lost my soulmate. I don`t want to punish. I want to reunite everyone who had the same fate as me." "So you break apart all the soulmates that still have a life together? A future?" (Y/N) screamed with tears flowing out of their eyes. "You`re pathetic." Huge shuriken came flying towards them, send from Obito who would not accept the doubting of his plan. The Hachibi and Naruto reacted immediately. Dodging the shurikens that were meant for Narutos sensei and his soulmate. A cold wind came up when a new man with long black hair and cracks on his face arrived next to Obito. The real Madara had come to help Obito finish his plan. Their conversation was brief but too personal for two people who shouldn`t know each other. Madara declared he would fight the jinchuuriki, whereas Obito had to fight his old comrades.

"Why are you with him?" Kakashi asked with narrowed eyes, watching him every step. "I don`t need to explain myself. I only need to fight you and win." Obito had not even finished his sentence when he attacked again with the same move. Huge shuriken were flying towards them once again. Kakashi reacted instantly doing his mudwall jutsu so the shuriken would not be able to reach them. But Obito was different. He glided through the wall without either of them noticing before he was right in front of them. He had another one in his hand. Walking calmy, almost casually, up to Kakashi who was sitting paralyzed on the ground. Kakashi was at his limit. Physically and mentally drained. All his life he tried to live up to the standards the people he had lost had set. Only to find out their principles weren`t as strong as he had thought. (Y/N) started moving as soon as Obito was behind the wall. They couldn`t watch their soulmate get hurt again or worse. Not after everything Kakashi had done for them and protected them from. They came from the side. Their kunai was hidden so it would be harder for Obito to slip through. It was a fruitless attempt. But how could they stand by and do nothing while Naruto fought to destroy Madara? They had to try, give their all and if they failed it would be okay. Obito was fixated on the silver-haired man, not hearing (Y/N)`s quiet steps. The kunai was able to scratch his arm and loosen his grip on the shuriken. But it was not enough for him to completely let go of it. They stood in front of Kakashi, shielding him, while blood trickled down Obitos sleeves. No grimaces gracing his features. He lifted the shuriken with trembling hands and pushed it into (Y/N)`s leg before letting it fall to the ground.

An agonizing scream ripped through the air before they fell to the ground with a loud thud. Angered eyes looked up while holding their bloodied leg. Kakashi was panting behind them. Scabbling to stand up and be next to them.

"Why?" His question was breathless. Not believing the nightmare he found himself in. His brain to slow and too panicked to catch up and protect what he loved most. "You should be silent, scum. With your false promises." The man spat back with a stoned face. Without a second to waste he absorbed Kakashi into his room-time but he stayed with his old friend. "I can`t believe you fell for him." Judging eyes fell on the pathetic creature below him, still trying to stop the bleeding with trembling, reddened hands. A humourous laugh left them. "Who would have been a better choice? You?" Obito shrugged, looking up at the sky. "Perhaps."

A cold wind came up, circulating next to them until Kakashi emerged out of it. Returning from the prison Obito had sent him too. "What changed you like that? Was it Rin's death?" Kakashi asked, standing protective next to (Y/N). "Shut up, scum!" Obito screamed, his eyebrows pinching together, his chest heaving. "It`s true I couldn`t keep my promise. I am scum. But you? You are a hero of the leaf village. You didn`t have to become like this." Kakashi paused, taking a deep breath and looking his friend in the eyes. "Why?" Obito laughed loudly. His eyes squeezed shut and his mouth torn open comically while a foreign sound came out of it. It sounded robotic, Not at all like the boy who had laughed at every silly joke. "Everyone who lives in this world becomes scum. We`re the best example. I will renew this world. I will make you feel the same pain as me. So you can understand."

With a swift motion, Obitos hand shot forward throwing a kunai at (Y/N). They were still on the floor. Listening half-heartedly, while trying to bind their leg as best as possible. Kakashi watched the little knife paralyzed flying towards them. Jumping and trying to catch it with his hand but missing. For the first time in years, he missed blocking a kunai. It bore into their body, piercing their heart. Their breath became rabid, eyes looking around panicked, body sacking in on itself.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N), wake up!" I startled with a gasp and suddenly found myself in another dark room with two concerned eyes watching me intensely. A sob broke out of my throat, accompanying the tears falling without limit out of my eyes. "It's alright. You're fine. Everything is fine." He slung his strong arms around my trembling body. Telling me he was there, I wasn't alone. He didn't care about my violent crying staining his shirt, that I woke him out of his sleep, or that I babbled nonsense. He was just there. "Do you want to talk about it?" He was still holding me, gently rocking so I calmed down enough until my sobs turned to hiccups and they evened out. "I lost him." I only whispered it, but I knew he heard it with the way his body stiffened and he clung to me tighter. "I lost him again." "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered, afraid if he spoke louder, not only his voice but also the world around him would break again. For too long, those simple words became his mantra. Chanting them at any given time to see if they would let us heal.

"Gally," I said, separating our upper bodies so I could look at him, "It wasn't your fault." He nodded, but couldn't keep his eyes on mine, instead squeezing my arms to signal me, he acknowledged my words, but they brought little comfort. He cupped my cheeks looking in my eyes with seriousness. He seemed different now. As if he had seen a war and was ready to march into another one.

"(Y/N),I promise you, if they are still alive, I will find them and bring him back to you." I tried to smile. My eyes still glistening from too many tears shed for what I had lost, I couldn't see what I still had.

After we escaped the maze, everyone was hopeful. Until Ava Paige told us about the scorch and the flare. What cruel god would do such a thing? Make us prisoners only to let us out to die. Suddenly Gally came in with a gun in his hand, blaming Thomas for everything. Saying we belonged to the maze. And maybe we did. Maybe we still do. For there was no greener place with the warmest sun. There is no place feeling more like home than the grass enclosed by gray walls.

But after I pushed Thomas out of the way and the bullet hit me, I was okay with dying. I was okay with knowing my family and the boy I loved would survive. Because I would still belong to the maze and there would be a time when we would all meet there again.

But I survived and had to live with the knowledge of never seeing the love of my life again.

Even after that night, the sun rose again, as it usually did, and with it a new day. With each passing day, I was able to forgive Gally a bit more for not being a demon, but being hunted by them. And when I woke up the next day from my latest nightmare, I saw Gally and knew I would be standing by his side until the end. Because despite everything, he still cared for me and protected me. He was the only one who kept me sane.

"Wake up already! It's breakfast time!" Came a deep, serious voice from the doorway of my room.

"Five more minutes, Gally."

"Fucking hell. No, stand up." Heavy footsteps walked toward my bed until rough hands slid under my body and lifted me up, only to set me back down on my own feet a second later. Less than five minutes later, were we downstairs sitting at a table and eating our breakfast, while everyone around us chattered.

Occasionally I would be greeted or smiled at, which Gally found bothersome.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I mumble with a mouthful of food.

"Gain everybody's attention. First in the Glade and now here. All of them try to get in your pants." He rolled his eyes, taking a huge bite of his bread.

"I don't know. It's not my fault." A snort left the man in front of me while an amused smile crept onto his lips.

"It's definitely your fault, (N/N). Always blinking your eyes seductively while giving some morons attention."

"I don't!" I exclaimed, offended.

He didn't reply, just smirked at me while putting his dishes on his tablet to bring them away.

"Anyway, Casanova, I have to go on patrol. Enjoy your attention."

"I hate you!" I smiled pleased as the conversation ended when he came around to hug me goodbye.

"Don't put yourself in danger, okay?" I asked softly. He didn't answer. He didn't need to. I knew he couldn't promise me but I always hoped it made him realize how desperately I needed him.

After he left for patrol, I got myself ready to look after the injured and sick. It was a tough job, not made for everyone, but what job was easy in the world we lived in. At least I didn't have to fight anymore. I didn't have to kill anyone and look at their eyes turn cold. I remember all the boys we had to bury or the one's we didn't even find anymore. I was not much of a fighter. What was the point if we were all going to die in the end anyway? But I understood that we had to fight. It was our last option, other than letting fate take the wheel.

Weeks passed with the same routine. Gally went on patrol while I tended to the wounded, but we always saw each other and ate together. Sometimes, though, we just sat together in silence. Until one day, the routine broke.

It was lunchtime when shots and screams rang out from the outskirts of the city. Where people fought day and night for their survival, to secure a place in the only city left.

The first time Levi stole was from Kenny. It wasn’t much, just a blanket to keep the cold from them and a little food so they wouldn’t starve to death. Of course, Kenny could have stopped him, but what was the point in it? The brat never listened to him, anyway. The little boy would just get a little less himself to make up for the loss. Levi accepted his fate without protest. As long as they could live.

When he ran outside with his newly stolen stuff, he saw the rats lurking near them. Waiting that they would die and they could leap holes through their body. He scared the rats away and wakes the resting human. Eyes staring at him that weren’t sure if they still belonged to this world. Without a word, he lays the blanket across the small shivering body and holds the bread near their face. They try to grasp it, muttering a low ‘thank you’, but eating was too hard. The bread gliding through their fingers, arm falling limb beside their body as if they were holding enormous stones. So Levi fed them. Every day for a week. He could see that they looked healthier. The rats were shying away because they couldn’t sense death through every pore of this human.

After the seventh day, Levi saw them smiling for the first time. It was a weak smile. One that he would choose every time over the sunlight.

He was sure they would survive. They would survive because of him. After they met him, they knew everything was going to be okay.

“Thank you”, spoke a wobbly voice beside him. The first coherent words that were spoken between them. Words that would determine their entire relationship. He glanced at them before quickly looking away. The young boy tore off another piece of food and stuffed it in their mouths.

“I’m Levi.” Their (E/C) eyes were looking directly at him with a new hope at life. He had given them a second chance and they would never forget it.

“(Y/N),” they answered with a full mouth, chewing with all their strength and Levi thought it was the most beautiful word he had ever heard. They would forever be grateful. Promising Levi then and there their soul.

“If you go, I’ll go with you.” A promise kept dear to their hearts. Their head rolled over to Levi’s shoulder, reassuring that they would never leave. After that Levi stole from others than his uncle. Making sure they had enough to eat. It wasn’t an easy life, but when had it ever been? He would pick fights with everyone that would just dare to look at them the wrong way. It wasn’t their fault that the world was a cruel place. It would only be theirs if they wouldn’t try to change it.

The first lesson Levi learnt from Kenny was that he had to pick his fights carefully. He shouldn’t get involved with the military police because it would put a target on his back. Even they couldn’t ignore a child who murdered someone open on the street. But he never fucking listened.

(Y/N) was working at a tavern to provide for themselves when a drunk customer grabbed their waist and pulled them near himself. The man had a large belly and greasy gray hair. Loud laughing was heard from around his table. (Y/N) could see the yellow teeth and smell his stinky breath. He wasn’t much different from the others, but being close to him made them feel nauseous. They laid their hands on his sweaty chest in an attempt to shove him away, but his grip held tight.

“Your a sweet fucking thing, aren’t ya? I can be good to you tonight.” Their lips curled up in disgust and the need to vomit overcame them.

“I’m just serving at this tavern. Nothing more.” They sewed a small smile on their lips, trying to be polite. They needed this job, they couldn’t be a burden to Levi once again.

“Great, then I don’t even have to pay.” The man says lowly and licks his dry lips. The air got stuck in their throat when his grips tightens a little and his thick fingers brush gently over their neck down to their ass.“Please... Please leave me alone”, utters their trembling voice, getting nothing but a smirk from the filthy man in return.

“Don’t fight back. It will hurt more.” His rough lips gazing over their skin when a fist collides with his face. The man tumbles back, groaning. His vision was a little blurry, yet he would always recognise the boy in front of him. Kenny’s worthless brat. It would have brought this world more if this kid had already died.

“Levi!”, a voice of utter surprise reached his ears, diverting his attention to his friend. His dark eyes held concern. Promising to burn down everything that came in between them.

“Are you alright?” They only nodded. Unable to find words when the man that was gripping their waist just a moment ago threw himself at Levi. A fight broke loose, fists colliding with faces, trashing the furniture. It was the last fight Kenny would watch him have.

A few years after they had met, Kenny left his nephew to fight alone. Still too young to understand why. Too young to survive. But he managed. The day he had seen them, he promised to give them a good life. If he couldn’t die for himself, then he wanted to live for them. Danger surrounded both of them constantly. Levi had to rob and fight for both of their lives after Kenny left them to die. He became stronger because he wanted them to live. (Y/N) was never one of the fighters. They could defend themselves, but only for a short amount of time. They were better at manipulating, finding out where a huge delivery should be made and how many men would be there to guard it.

Over time, Levi’s glances toward his friend grew. Often, he would lull them to sleep. Staying at their side until sunrise. A habit that would leave them to never want to sleep alone again. With every smile and every touch, his feelings grew. He promised to keep them safe as a kid, but now he would die for them. They were the closest thing he had to a family. The only one to never abandon him. No matter how shitty this world is, they and Levi hold on to each other. Because that’s all they had left. Each other.

When Furlan came around, their family grew. They could steal more and huger items, but it wasn’t always as easy. (Y/N) had found out that a huge delivery containing 3D maneuver gear was sent into the underground city. It had been stolen from the military police and should now be sold on the black market. It was the best opportunity they would get at stealing those. (Y/N) had found out where the underground thugs will receive and load the goods first. This was their moment to strike. (Y/N) will distract the dealers while Levi and Furlan take out their accomplices and grab the items. But it didn’t go as planned. The advantage of their plan was the element of surprise. There were eight opponents standing between them and their treasure. (Y/N) made sure to distract two of them in front of the building. That left Furlan and Levi with six. Yet they couldn’t take out the thugs fast enough. Four of them were easy to eliminate. But one of the last two remaining pulled surprisingly out a knife and stabbed Levi’s forearm with it. A pained scream ripped from his throat. When the criminal pulled it out again, blood was staining his white shirt, but he couldn’t give up.

“Levi!” Furlan’s concerned voice yelled.

“Don’t mind me! Grab the items! I will get (Y/N).” It was two against one. Nothing he hadn’t done before, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that one of them had a knife. He ditched the punch of the first one, swung his leg and pulled the criminal off the floor. The second one was more persistent. The knife was firmly in his handle, aiming to kill. Levi moved fast and carefully. He had to fling the knife from his hand and knock him unconscious. Just after a few blows was it Levi possible to get his opponent out of balance and get a grip on his knife. The fight was over with the man on the ground, unable to move. A scream ripped through the air. Levi freezes, eyes wide with fear. He could detect this voice everywhere. Everyone had a different reason for forgetting to breathe, and this was his. He sprung to his feet but was hit with an elbow. One man was standing again. Levi had to help them.

“You little brat are trying to steal from us! You think we are stupid? Tell us where they are or we will kill you!” The man before them growled, yanking at their arm to get them nearer. They had the face of an angel, but if someone had looked them in the eyes, they would have seen the burning of hell. They would rather die upright than crawl in front of the world. Never would they tell them where her friends went.

“I will do this world a fucking blessing and kill this whore!” The second one spat them in the face and rammed his knee into their stomach. All air was knocked out of them and (Y/N) got on their knees. Their breath quickened, hands beginning to tremble. They bite their lips and closed their eyes, imagining the worst. But all they heard was a low thud and the grip on their figure weakening.

“Hey sunshine, sorry for the wait!” Furlan had a smirk plastered across his face. He held his hand out to help them get up.

“Where is Levi?”, Worry dripped from their voice. He had to be alright. The short man promised to stay with them till the end. Even as children, they said if he goes, they will follow him. Because the pain was bearable with him.

“Don’t know. Probably still fighting the thugs.” Their eyes narrowed.

“We need to help him.” But they were stopped when a bloody Levi came around the corner. Breath quickened. Relief flashed through him when he saw that (Y/N) was alright. Maybe it was true that humans can survive the most horrific things because they are indestructible as long as they believed it.

“Levi, you're hurt!” They shrieked, looking worryingly at his slashed arm.

“It’s alright. Let’s get out of here.” Both of his friends nodded. Grabbing the 3D maneuver gear and sprinting towards their home before the city would awake.

Levi was relieved that their mission was successful but the guilt of coming too late for (Y/N) rescue left him restless. Furlan had to save them because Levi had failed. Failed at keeping his friend safe, but when the scream ripped through the air, he was paralyzed. Fear nagging at his brain and anxiety clouding his vision. It was nearly unbearable. Guilt rushed through his system. He had abandoned them, broken his promise of always being with them. If it wasn’t for Furlan, maybe they would have been arrested or worse, killed. He sat at the table with a tea in hand and tried to find a way to keep them out of harms way. But it was impossible down here. Danger lurked in every alley.

“You love them, don’t you?” Furlan’s quiet voice rang from the doorway. Levi couldn’t look in his eyes. Not when he had disappointed both of his friends, but regardless, he nodded.

“How much?” In his voice laid concern. Furlan starred straight at his friend even if Levi wouldn’t consider the other male that yet.

“Beyond death.” Levi’s grey eyes met Furlans and promised a never ending storm if something was to happen to the person he saved such a long time ago. It was a silent promise that he wouldn’t have to bear this burden alone anymore. A smirk crept onto Furlans face, accepting the complete honesty.

“Maybe your arm would feel better if they would patch it up”, said Furlan teasingly, receiving a glare from Levi but he followed his advice, regardless. They always made him feel better.

Just a few weeks after the incident, a girl tumbled into their home. She had her shoulder-length red hair tied in two braids and green eyes that were drowning in poison. She introduced herself as Isabel Magnolia. An energetic berk. She is quick to warm up with Levi and Furlan but condescending towards (Y/N). How could Levi allow that such a weak person relay on him? (Y/N) didn’t like them because she was loud. Always screaming about the perfection of her Levi. He didn’t even try to shut her up about it. Just rolling with her nicknames and annoying nature. The two were always bickering. Much to the displeasure of Levi and Furlan.

“That was successful!” Furlan cheered when counting the money they had just stolen. It was just a short mission, but with military police more present now, they couldn’t take too huge risks. They just wanted to come out of this excuse of a life as fast as possible.

“Yeah, but I think my 3D maneuver gear is broken. One side won’t shoot the rope anymore.” A grumble was heard from the energetic redhead. She had proved her worth repeatedly. She was the perfect match for their little dysfunctional family. The only problem was that they weren’t a family just yet. Isabel disliked (Y/N) like cats the water. But she was part of the team. The person Levi would never abandon, to never leave behind, even if Isabel considered them weak. They had other qualities the strong-willed child couldn’t acknowledge.

“Give it to (Y/N). They will fix it”, Levi responded without sparing a glance to her.

“Them? Why them?” Isabel raised her eyebrows. Her emerald green eyes reflecting her confusion.

“They fixed ours countless of times. They even tried to improve it, but it’s not as easy with the scarce resources down here”, Furlan explained, receiving an approving hum from Levi.

“Never thought they were a mechanic.”

“Well, if you would actually talk to them and not just bicker, maybe you would know.” The tall blonde male shot her a teasing grin, making her roll her eyes in annoyance.

When the three of them came home, (Y/N) was already there preparing the food for dinner. Furlan and Levi made their way over to the couch to continue counting the money they made and divide it into a fair share for everybody. Isabel coughs to get (Y/N)s attention. They turned around, a confused expression plastered across their face when they saw Isabel standing in front of them with their 3D maneuver gear in hand.

“I think it’s broken. Can you maybe repair it?” The redheaded girl looked a little nervous, asking such a thing from someone she didn’t really consider a friend.

“Of course, no problem. I will look at it!” (Y/N)s eyes lit up with excitement about the newly given task. Preparing dinner long forgotten when they could tinker at the maneuver gear. They placed the item on the table. Starting right away to help their roommate.

“Woah, you're pretty good at this!” Isabel exclaimed excitedly. She already saw how it would be fixed in no time and she could fly again like a bird. A small chuckle escaped the other.

“I really like to repair machines of widely varying complexity. But my truest passion will probably always be the crafting and overhauling of 3D maneuver gear.” A smile stretched over both of their faces when (Y/N) explained different functions of the item and how they could improve it. Isabel was bound to their lips, enjoying every word and answering with excitement. The two boys, that sat only a few feet away, long forgotten. After that, the two of them became fast friends. Sometimes Levi wondered why it took them so long to see their similarities. They still bickered. It was part of the charms from their friendship.

It was just before dawn when the group of friends arrived at their home. They lived here for years. It was the place they held dear to their hearts. The safe place they would always come back to. They had encountered so many happy and heartbreaking memories in it. It was far more than a house to live in. It was the first smile between Levi and Furlan. The first fight between (Y/N) and the ever stoic male. It was drunk nights and singing with Isabel. It was chaos and a mess, but it was theirs.

An old and well-dressed man waited in front of their home. Looking at his watch impatiently.

“What do you want, Grandpa?” asked Isabel with raised eyebrows and a bullet on her tongue, waiting to fire.

“I’ve come for a job request,” His modulated voice spoke. Putting away the pocket watch he held in his crinkly, clean hands just a moment ago.

“Not interested,” Levi grumbled, pulling his arm away from (Y/N)’s back. Stepping around the aristocrat to get to his safe haven. Nothing pleasant could ever come from a nobleman. The underground people were just trash in their eyes. Blood staining everyone’s hands because they had to kill more than parts of themselves to stay alive.

“I’ve already paid a deposit for you.” A scoff was heard from Furlan. Making the elder face the boy with such a disapproving glance, as if he wanted to teach him manners.

“We haven’t even seen you before,” hisses the blond man, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“But you should be familiar with this young man.” The elderly man gestured to an alley that laid just a few feet away. Making eye contact with a well-known boy their age. A low name fell from (Y/N)s lips in surprise. Jan had always helped the group by countless of missions. Nowadays his legs got more and more weak. Ready to break down at any given moment. The friends tried to help, but there wasn’t much they could do. Diseases and death was the only perspective if you stayed too long in the underground.

“His legs won’t be able to carry him much longer if he doesn’t receive treatment soon. Or am I wrong, Levi?” The name rolled off his tongue like a curse. As if he tried to summon the devil itself. Said male glared daggers at the seemingly harmless man, ignoring the asked question completely. So the grey-haired man had to speak up once again with now eight predator like eyes following his every move. He had stepped foot into the wrong hell.

“I consider this to be my deposit. In addition, if your efforts are crowned with success, you will not only be rewarded with a refreshing amount of money, but you will also receive citizenship on the surface. Would you like to hear my offer now?” The air got stuck in their throats, wanting to strangle them to death with all their hopes. Muscles tensing up. No one dared to move, in fear they would wake up from this dream. Isabel, Furlan and (Y/N) were staring at Levi, waiting achingly to hear his answer.

“Go on then.” The short male narrowed his eyes and crosses his arms to shield himself from the nobleman.

“I need you three to follow me.” He gestured to the blond and dark-haired male and the redheaded girl.

“We will not leave (Y/N) behind!” shrieked Isabel, clutching their hand. Levi’s gaze hardened at the mention of leaving them behind.

“We do not need them for this mission. But of course they will gain citizenship too if you are successful.” The three stood petrified. Refusing to move a single muscle. Citizenship be damned if they had to leave one of their family behind.

“It’s okay. I will wait here.” They couldn’t decline this offer. Not after everything they had done. They were going through hell together and (Y/N) wouldn’t hold them back when they were so close to their goal.

“No (Y/N), you don’t have to. We don’t need this job.” Levi spoke up, a dark tone laying in his voice.

“It’s perfect. We will get citizenship. I can survive without you for a while.” They reassured but Levi blocked their efforts.

“I can’t go without you!” One hand desperately runs through his hair, stopping for a blink moment before it falls back down into his face.

“You can and you have to. We all will benefit from it. Please Levi, you know just as well as I do that no-one survives a long time in the underground.” He knew they were right. They wanted to get to the upper ground since they were children. If they didn’t take this chance, they would never make it up. Levi knew this, it just didn’t make it any easier. What would happen to them in the time he couldn’t protect them?

“Fine, we will be back.” Levi was looking directly into their eyes, a silent promise that he would never leave them. He would even find them in another life. (Y/N) nodded with their sun bringing smile. They knew. They knew since the first day that he would always come back. With that, they were gone. Following the well-dressed one to see the sunlight for the first time.

However, when the midday came around so came their friends. A thick atmosphere settled in the space between them.

“What did he tell you? What do they want you to do?” (Y/N) tilts their head, licking their suddenly dry lips when they looked at the solemn faces of their friends. But nobody dared to look back. How could they be the reason to ruin their beautiful grin? Levi sat stoically at the small wooden table, sipping his tea as if it was an ordinary day. When no one answered, an annoyed huff left them.

“Furlan, tell me!”, they demanded. The male was avoiding their eyes with an immense passion, but he opened his mouth nevertheless.

“They want us to join the survey corps to steal some documents.” Their heart sunk. Pain spreading into every limb, but they couldn’t let their heartbreak take over their face. So their smile widened.

“That’s not too hard. You guys have done that countless of times!” No hope sparkled, only silence and dread settling in again. A clink could be heard as Levi put his cup on the table and spoke up.

“And we have to kill Erwin Smith.” The smile slipped as soon from their face as he had spoken the words. Their (E/C) eyes meeting the ground, trying to understand. Abruptly, Levi stood up and marched through the front door. He couldn’t bear it anymore. The stinking air, rats running through all streets, living in filth just like the humans down here did. There was no difference between them.

“Levi wait!” A warm hand grasped after his, making him stop. He couldn’t turn around, not when he could already feel their hand trembling in his. The worst scenarios flashing through his mind. Their dead body laying there. Slit open by gangsters they had crossed too many times. Their lightless eyes staring back at him when he comes to get them. Holes of rats showing him their insides. All the horrors he wanted to protect them from suddenly coming to the surface when they realise he had abandoned them.

“I know it’s hard, and that everything is wrong. Nobody should live down here and fight about their right to life. But we do and we can’t give up now. I’m so sorry you have to do that. I promise I would take your burden if I could.” (Y/N)s arms found their way around Levi’s neck, bringing him close to them and burying their head in the crook of his neck. They never spoke out the words. Never spoke out that he was murdering someone who was probably innocent. They just laid warm comfort over his freezing heart.

“I will come back for you, I promise,” he whispered softly, stroking their hair. A weak chuckle escaped them with a few tears. They raised their head to look into his dark eyes to give them light.

"Levi, you wanted to see me?" She smiled brightly. Fooling him once again that she was his. He would never admit how badly he wanted to be loved. He wanted to be needed. To be the best person to someone and that they would love him till the end. Levi always hoped she would be the one to free him from his loneliness. But she didn't. She let him pick a spade to dig his own grave. 

"Yes, come in." His cold stare bored into her, arms crossed to create a barrier in hopes it would protect his poor heart. But it wouldn't. It never did before, and it wouldn't start now. Levi could only protect himself with annoyed glares and hurtful words. It was what he learned. A sigh left his lips. 

"You never loved me, did you?" Silence engulfed the room. His heart beating fast in his chest, blood rushing to his ears. (Y/N)'s eyes were wide. Disbelief written all over her face. Why would he think that? Did he forget the nights they spend together? How she would whisper into his ear that she loved him. That she would protect him if he had a nightmare again. Unfortunately, right now, she was his worst nightmare. The reminder that he will always wander this world alone. 

"Of course, I love you. Why would you say that?" A small smile stretched over her lips in an attempt to ease the tension in the room. But Levi's walls were already too high. He was ready to fight regardless of what she said. 

"Tch, this will be the last time you lie to me. Do you think I'm stupid?" An exasperated sigh left his lips. She had to play dumb, didn't she?

"You really thought I wouldn't see your glances at him? The little touches, how your smile brightens every time he comes around? You don't even try to hide it." He spits out and shakes his head. His left ankle was placed on his right knee and his torso was leaning back. Nobody would ever imagine the tumult that was brewing inside the calm Captain. He had already killed the part of him that believed it couldn't survive without someone else a long time ago. But here he was with an aching heart. Begging that he could change the fate.

"Levi, I don't understand. Who are you talking about?" (Y/N) furrows her brows.

"Ohh spare me, don't play the fucking damsel in distress. What was your plan? Sleeping with everyone until you get a good position in the military? I could've sworn that from all the people in the world you would be the last one to betray me." Levi had fallen for the devil herself. Ready to

swallow every poison she would give to him. How could have he known that the light in his loneliest nights was a beast, waiting for her time to tear him apart. 

"You know I'm not like that. I would never betray you."

(Y/N) would have hurt everyone. Spilled the blood of thousands to protect her beloved Levi.

 He could rip her heart from her chest, and she would still adore him.

When they first met, he always wondered if his soul was too dark for hers. He had lived through so many tragedies silently. How could he expect her to love him regardless? His soul was too dark for hers. He was a lost soul, just wanting to feel alive. But even after all the terror he had encountered, here she was, ready to love him.

The world was a cruel place but not with her. Not when she was loving him.

"So you love him then. Did you think of him when you were looking at me?" He ran a hand through his hair and a twisted half smile covering the pain he was feeling. His heart was getting colder again. Ready to freeze everything that touched him. Already as a child, he burned his good heart because he saw how little it meant nowadays. He had built three walls around it, but it wasn't enough. What did he need to do to finally get peace?

"Levi, I don't know what you're talking about. I only love you. I thought you did too. Please just tell me what’s wrong.” 

"Drop your charade. I'm so sick and tired of your shit. You really want to know what this thing between us is? It’s a mistake, that’s all." 

The captain of the survey corps had enough. Levi was fast on his feet, the chair he was sitting in just a moment ago, laid abandoned on the ground. His jaw clenched and hands gripping, hard, the wooden table.

He wondered how it felt for her. Did she lose the best that ever happened to her right now? Was that someone already dead or not even found yet? What was going on in her head? Did her heart beat faster because of the anxiety that she had been caught in her little game? Was she afraid that he could hear her heart, telling him all the truth he needed to know? When would she drop the act? When was she ready to give up and accept defeat?

"I can't do this anymore, you're a liar. You're a liar." He repeated, not believing what she was doing. 

"I don't think you've told me the truth once since we've been together. Go ahead and leave. I'll even hold the fucking door for you." 

They were in love. Young and stupid. Kisses behind closed doors and secret touches around others. They would always remember the relief of spending another night together in each other's arms. Titans forgotten when they were together. Humanity be damned if they could love each other like this forever. But they couldn't. The world keeps turning. Universe forgetting the souls it once fought for. They were inessential. Just soldiers who sacrificed their hearts.

"Levi, please don't say that." Her voice shakes, fingers trembling when she tries to reach him, but he only steps back. When did it go so wrong? (Y/N) wanted to curl into his arms and wake up from the nightmare he is putting her through. She hides her tearful gaze behind shaking hands. Waiting that he would comfort her, but he never did. When did it go so wrong?

"For you, it's fucking captain. Now go, I never want to see you again." Levi stared at her with nothing but disgust. All the love his eyes once held were replaced by betrayal and hate. He would have sent her to hell, but he never wanted to see her again.

It was a starless night. Not even the moon dared to look down. Chattering was heard everywhere in the canteen. Just the table of the Commander Erwin Smith was more silent than ever. 

"Why isn't (Y/N) sitting with us?" Erwin asked with genuine concern. The young women could lately always been seen with the captain. It was a decent change in their lives. It always seemed to make Levi a little happier when she was with him. The lost boy had finally found a home.

"Tch, you can go over to her every time you want. Nobody prevents you from doing it." The Captain hisses through gritted teeth. Eyes staring dangerously straight into Erwin's own.

"Ohh someone seems to have a bad day" Hange intervenes, trying to ease the tension. They were always too carefree for their own good. The Captain himself doesn't respond, only grumbles and hopes the conversation will be over quickly.

"How is she doing in your team, anyway? She is pretty new, but she always had this way to find fast new friends." Erwin started eating again. Allowing Levi to look away. He knew it wasn't Erwin's fault. He never expressed his feelings towards her, but why was he still better than him? Was it his fate to always stay in the shadows of his commander and friend? 

"How would you know?" Levi picked up his knife himself. The tense feeling around the table faded a little.

"I know her since she was a baby. She is family. My niece to be precise." 

Everything stopped. The world. The birds. His heart. Being alive was a dangerous adventure. When they thought they had everything figured out, new information comes in and destroys the careful build home. 

"Oh fuck." It was nothing but a quiet whisper. Realisation crashing down on him with an immense speed.  

"What? Did something happen?" Hange picked up on the sudden change in the atmosphere right away. Without another word leaves the captain his comrades. He had to make things right. He had to save both of their hearts.

Levi went to her room and knocked softly. But he doesn't hear an answer. Who would want to see him after what he did? He was an idiot. He should have listened. He should have heard her out. But he was too afraid to get his heart broken. Jealousy clouding his vision. Humanities strongest weapon, ready to kill everything that comes near him. Ready to break the only heart that loved him.

"I'm here to apologise" Levis voice was soft. He didn't want to scare her further away. She needed to know that she wouldn't come in the crossfire of his hateful words once again. He needed her to know that Levi loved her.

Quiet taps are heard on the other side of the door until it opens, a creak. (Y/N) standing there with a tearful gaze. He had never seen her so hurt. How could he do this to her?

"I'm not ready for a long talk right now", said (Y/N) with a raspy voice. Her eyes were empty, the shine they once held washed away with sadness and pain. These eyes were his hope. When the universe became darker around him, he held onto them as if they would show him the right way out of disaster.

"Please, hear me out. Just two minutes." Levi sounds desperate. How could he lose her over a misunderstanding? But it was so much more than that. He was willing to break her, to send her to hell and let her rot there. How could she love him after that?

"Go on then." She was willing to listen. (Y/N) wanted to understand why she was the devil in disguise for him now.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you and all the terrible things I said. I didn't know you were Erwin's niece. I just thought you were in love with Erwin and used me to get to him. I was jealous. I know I should have explained everything, but I thought you would just lie to me again."

When it comes to love, it's all or nothing. Either they get a knife in the back or someone who is willing to stay with them till the end. Sometimes they give their everything, ready to stay through every storm together, but they end up with broken promises because their everything wasn't enough.

"But I never did lie to you. How could I? You are the person I trust the most."

Levi always acted like he didn't need anyone. He could kill every titan on his own. No opponent too strong for him. But every night she laid in his arms, peacefully sleeping with the trust that he would protect her and the certainty that he will be there in the morning. No nightmares will come to her or to him. He knew she would chase them away with sweet words and affectionate kisses. She would break herself if she knew her pieces would make him whole again.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. It was childish of me to act like this. I don't expect you to forgive me." The door opened fully after his statement. He could see her now in all her glory. Could he embrace her, or would she push him away? Was he ever meant to hold her again?

"It's okay", a sigh left her lips before she continued, "Your forgiven. But talk to me the next time." It always felt like their hearts were very old friends. They longed for each other, tugged at their strings to let them see how desperately they needed each other. They beat in the same rhythm and nothing could ever get them out of sync. “We're okay now?” A small smile tugged at his lips. Relief flooding through him, but he needed to be certain.

"Good morning, I'm Haise Sasaki. Your (y/n) (l/n), right?" Silence. What they feared most was now their companion. They wanted to talk, wanted to yell and scream all their insults. They wanted fun, wrap him around their finger and bite of his head when he was careless.

"How are you?" His voice was soft, competing with the gentle breeze on an warm July afternoon. A raspy laugh leaved their lips making the prison, he stepped foot in, seem much colder out of a sudden. Haise Sasaki choose the wrong demon for his dance with the devil. The one in this cell wouldn't go down without a fight.

"The tortures of hell are unbearable for the first few years, but after a while you get used to them." The demon he had summoned now rose from their seat on the ground. Swinging their bent legs from the wall with a thud to find a new tune to sing.

"Are you not afraid of my eyes?" They dragged the last word out cheerfully and strutted through their cage, refusing to sit oposit of him.

"Why would I be?", he asked confidence in his voice but doubt in his mind. He heard their strained laughter and it makes a shiver ran down his spine. Haise wiped his clammy hands on his black pants and tried to controll his anxiety. He pitied them even though he had a place in hell too.

"They might steel your soul." They nibbled at their lips smirking. A habit that only grew over the past years. Their chapped lips signed that it kept them entertained regardless of the pain.

"I'm here to ask about a ghoul who worked with you in the Aogiri Tree. We name him Gargoyle." The ghoul came to an abrupt halt, spinning on their heel and facing the young man with one eyebrow raised.

"Will you play a game with me?", an amused grin on their face but the darkness and the sin only grow in their eyes. Haise hesitated but declined. A step into hell.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have time. I need to find this ghoul." The predator has founds its prey. They arise again from their place and stroll around the room.

"Then I won't tell you." They giggled. Interupting the silence to fall over the room. Haises brows knit together. Should he threaten them? Tell them they would die if they are not of use anymore? But they seem to can read his mind.

"Save it. You don't have to threaten me. I have nothing left to lose." The cheerful manner vanished and the ghoul stopped walking. They sat quietly in the corner of the room. The light could only reach one half of their downward facing face.

"(Y/N), please wait. Tell me about it?" The ghoul tilts their head back, waiting for the Investigator to elaborate.

"Tell me about you. About your life and what you lost. Maybe I can help and then you can help me." A quiet chuckle escaped them. Not one like the others. This one was sadder. Ready to fall to the ground and laught at their own stupidity to believe that they could have a normal life. This one was a laugh of regret. The one of a demon who fell in love with an angel and expected God's blessing.

"Tell you what? The tragic tale of (y/n) (l/n), a monster with a heart!", they sprung up, marching straight to him and yelled. Their hands slamming flat on the glass pane with narrowed eyes and trembling lips. He expected to see their black eyes with thick blood veins under it. He wanted to see the Ghoul but their eyes where white with a colourful iris. They seemed so human it broke his heart. The demon fell down to their knees, arms hanging useless beside their trembling body while they wept for their loss.

"You know I was an expert in all those lovestories. I always settled in the warmth and comfort of books because who could love a monster like me? I just wanted someone to love me and see me as a human. And then he came along. I never fell so fast for a boy. It was ridiculous. Dangerous even because he was a human. I could rip his heart out in an instant but he refused to acknowledge that. He loved me because I wasn't human. His trust was so infinite that he was never afraid of me hurting him. He made me feel whole for the first time in my life." A small smile appeared on their lips. Hide was always more wild than them. His heart never settled in a cage. Everytime they used to run from him, he would come to drag them back to be beside him. He freed them from their cage only to get shoved into a darker one.

Haise smiled knowing that this was the first time someone in here listened to them. "How did you meet?"

They laughed so genuine it makes them seem like a different person. "You expect something huge, right? This big lovestory where he saves me from falling and ruining my clothes. It was nothing like that. It was the most beautiful and boring beginning to the story. I used to work at a small coffee shop. He came nearly everyday with his friend but I only ever watched from afar. Telling myself that it was too dangerous to get involved with humans. Until one day a few cups slipped from my tray and he helped me clean it up."

It sounded so normal to Haise that he forgot for a moment that they were a ghoul he should be afraid of. How could you lock up such a beautiful person that wanted to be loved and read the newest novels? "Would you like to see him again?" Their face turns to the ground. Their eyes swimming in the most human emotion, regrett. Their hands were trembling and their vision got blurrier. The first tears were threating to fall. "Well, what is his name? Maybe I can talk to the authorities about it."

"Hide", the monster sobbed and Haise worries. He didn't even want to know how hard it is locked away from their loved ones. It seemed like it was a greater burden on them than anyone would acknowledge.

"I loved him more than anything in this world and he is dead because of me." They almost looked pathetic. Their knees pulled up to their upper body and their head buried in their hands. They hugged themselves with their arms and rocked back and forth slowly. The demon was losing their sanity. Only pretending to be sane for the accusing eyes.

"Pathetic, aren't I? Crying in front of the first ghoul Investigator that shows a human emotion. Sometimes I wonder who the monster is." Their head snapped up, eyes blown wide with tears running down in streams. Their lungs asking for air so that they can scream until the building collapses. "Look at me and laugh! I got what I deserved, isn't that what you think?" Their whole body shakes with sobs. Haises can hear their difficulty to breath. The ghoul turns their head away. Closing their eyes and hoping that the silence would swallow them whole. What do you do when you meet the love of your life and realize that the whole world is against you? How do you accept that no matter how perfect you are for each other, circumstances get in the way? How do you compete with that kind of fate? They are a lonely soul. Always wandering restless to seek the unattainable.

"When I was younger I always dreamed about the paradise that I would go too when I died. This would give this life meaning, right? It would be worth all the fight we put up. But I'm so scared of the paradise now. I find comfort in the idea that the afterlife is similar to this cage. Quiet and dark. This way I never have to see him again. How could I with how insane and pathetic I got. He wouldn't love me like this. How could he?" Another sob erupted from their throat. They covered the lower half of their face with their shaking hand.

Haise is stunned. How could a love run so deep? The person he once saw as a monster was willing to give their hope of a paradise. So that their lover could never see them in this state. But the monster knew that all those moments between them were real and nobody could take it from them. Their love would always be in this world.

"Do you think the universe fights for souls?" The ghoul looked up baffled. They wanted to laugh. How could someone be so unfazed by a terrifying ghoul who was summoning the devil itself?