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Ruby: Well I for one hope you don't get a murder mystery this year!! That would be awful if someone died!

Ruby: Well, I'm going to need people to play with, aren't I? And I highly doubt I'm the only one that's in the mood for a non-quidditch sport... we could get a game of valley ball going during lunch or on a weekend or something. Wouldn't that be fun?

Cassidy: Maybe I can solve just the murder of a stuffed animal or a tree or something? It's so interesting to track down a killer!

Pal: I don't believe that. If the person closest to me died, I wouldn't cry; the whole 'grief' that follows a death is purely performative, or else we wouldn't have funerals. And lol surprises aren't often, by their nature - people being surprised often just means they don't pay attention and that's not the same thing as expecting the unexpected. It's like not expecting anything.

Cassie: I know that's not what they're SUPPOSED to do and I don't blame them for it at all, I know it's my own fault and my own insecurities, but I do feel lame and weak and sucky by comparison a lot, yes. Oops? And um, yeah, sure, I know people can use drugs and still be good people but like... did the drugs help him solve crimes? Because if they did, I don't think that's a great message, you know?

Ruby: Oh! Well, can't say I know anyone that's been murdered or anything like that, but um, I guess if I hear about something I'll let you know!

Ruby: Even with doubles? But volleyball does seem more fun. Have you ever played?

Cassidy: Sorry, that was just the highest level of INTRIGUE! HIGH STAKES SOLVING! More likely it's like, thefts. Those are less flashy.

Pal: Still doesn't make sense to me. Everybody is going to die, if we cried over every death, we'd never stop. If you'd rather be fascinated by people's deaths than sad, I'm not going to judge. And I don't believe in deep down - either something makes sense or it doesn't, either you feel something or you don't, and if a phrase can't be explained, maybe it doesn't make sense.

Cassie: Oh, is that the one with Lucy Liu?! I love her, she makes me wish I was cooler and stronger and better without making me feel lame and weak and sucky. RDJ does drugs? O: I didn't know! That's... wait, Sherlock Holmes did drugs too? What's the moral of those stories then?!

Kally: A possible one, though, right?

Cassie: He was the one I saw most often on tv lol so tell the makers of that show that he's the worst version so I never have to see him again! Aww, Sherlock Gnomes *sounds* cute but I never got around to watching it. I don't think I'd want to see one with RDJ either, though - something about that man gives me the heebie-jeebies. Hmm, I guess that's true! Are they suspenseful then? That's a more objective word, right?

Pal: Don't ask me, it's one of the inane rituals that people cry at, right next to weddings and funerals. Do you hear how much of an oxymoron that is? Expect the unexpected? If you're expecting it, it CAN'T be unexpected.

Jane: Really?!?! That would be amazing!! Do you have any study tips or anything like that? Because I try acronyms but then I forget them when I'm like taking the test and I get it wrong.

Ruby: Oh, it's not? I can try to find a different one! I just didn't really know of one off the top of my head.

Ruby: With other people for sure!

Cassidy: Not really! This is more a mystery of what your own heart wants, I solve like... murders!

Cassidy: Well, not really, dad's never let me come on a murder case. But someday I want to solve them!

Kally: Okay, but they can be based on true facts without people named Sherlock Holmes and Nancy Drew ever having EXISTED.

Cassie: Oh lol those two should have been obvious haha. Or your dad is, anyway. I never got too into Sherlock Holmes admittedly, but that's because my first encounter with him was the Benedict Cumberpatch version and his face scares me. Are Agatha Christie books like a scary mystery or more of a straight-up who-done it?

Pal: At least you'll be able to blame the crying on graduation. Apparently people are supposed to cry at those. And lmao, considering something an option solely because it's so unlikely is the opposite of the scientific method but you do you.

Ruby: Aw honey! I'm sure it's not that! Maybe they just... don't have any mysteries to solve right now?

Ruby: But I got one! Do you think tennis or volleyball is more fun? I need a sport besides quidditch lol

Cassidy: Oh! Um, that's not my usual type of mystery but I can investigate to try and get you an answer!

Jane: I didn't notice anything! But I wasn't really in the dorm room last night... couldn't stop thinking about the O.W.L's so I had trouble getting to sleep...

It is totally Chip.  Get it…because I’m Gil….like a fish and he’s Chip so together we’re fish and chips.  You’re really good at this.  You shouldn’t like doubt yourself because you’re way good at guessing games.  Like the best I’ve ever met.  Next time I loose something thing you might be able to help me find it?

Oh! I probably would have got to that connection eventually, although I might have started thinking about microchips first and wondering if you thought that your cat was some kind of android robot spy kitten. Tangent again, wow! But absolutely, I’m an excellent finder. I mean, I’m a Hufflepuff AND I’m a detective, that’s the most winning finder combination in the world.