Puff Pirate

I have most definitely called friends by their titles or respectively Mister and Miss before, but that might just be me, apparently. The best food combo is a great hint, though! That has to be peanut butter and jelly.

Man I thought that stuff was only for adults and stuff.  I don’t think I’ve ever been that formal with someone that wasn’t over like 50 or a teacher.  And PB and J’s are amazing but this here cat is only one half of the combo to my other half.  Wait, crap that was a hint.  Well you just got a free hint.  Though I guess all hints are really free.  It’s not like I’m going to charge a fee for hints that would be weird.

Chip? Was it just Chip? Or am I getting colder? Because wow oh wow do I really hate when a case goes cold, it’s just the worst! It makes me question my brain and wonder if maybe my mom had an affair and that’s why I’m not as much of a super sleuth as my dad, but wow, tangent!

It is totally Chip.  Get it...because I’m Gil....like a fish and he’s Chip so together we’re fish and chips.  You’re really good at this.  You shouldn’t like doubt yourself because you’re way good at guessing games.  Like the best I’ve ever met.  Next time I loose something thing you might be able to help me find it?

Well, I haven’t seen anyone reply to you about a missing cat yet, so maybe it wandered in from the forest or… Hogsmeade or something. Do you think a cat can figure out where a secret tunnel into the castle is? They’re very intelligent, after all. Huh, they kind of do, don’t they! Well, maybe if you have to give this Sneezy back we can buy you a new one and I’ll just, get allergy medicine or potion or something, not sure if Muggle or wizard methods work better.

I don’t know are they smarter than dogs?  Because the dogs we had back home used to be able to break into my room even with the door closed and that’s pretty smart right?  Cause if they are I totally believe they could go on secret missions in secret tunnels.  Wow could you really do that?  I guess I mean would you really do that?  If it helps imagine how great of dorm mascot they could be!  I’m not saying we can dress them up in Hufflepuff colors but I’m not NOT saying that.

Ch… Don’t think I missed that hint there! I don’t need to ask you for another one yet, I want to try to work with the clue I’ve got. Chipper? Chaz? Chestnut? Am I getting anywhere close? 

Aw man, you’re really good.  And I mean you pretty much got it, you just added some extra letters at the end.  Are you a professional or something ? Because aren’t you supposed to say you’re a professional before you solve stuff?

Is your new cat friend going to be living in our dorm room? Because if she or he is, I might need to name her Sneezy, since that’s what she’s going to be making me do all the time.

Man I wish!  That I can bring them back to the dorm with me, not that you’ll be all sneezy.  But they all nice looking, so I’m guessing someone else got dibs on them first.  But they clearly like me better or they would be hanging out with them.  Though man Sneezy would be a great name for a cat, they always have those funny little sneezes. You should be an official cat namer.  

I don’t know if I could say there’s just one perfect name for a cat but if I had to guess… Mr. Whiskers? Although given that you don’t know the gender, that probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Congratulations on having a new best friend, though! That sounds like a wonderful use of your time.

Mr. Whiskers?  That’s an awful name for a cat or any animal really!  Its supposed to be your friend, you don’t call your friends Mr and Lady do you?  Actually do you?  Either way, that’s not their name. I’ll give you a hint, its part of the best food combo in the world!

Oh, I love mysteries! Although I have to admit I’m a little more intrigued by the mystery of where your cat came from than I am by the ‘what’s your cat named’ issue, I’ll play along. Is its name Kitty? 

Well I don’t know where they came from so you’ll have to ask Ch-...I mean them.  I was just doing some stretches after my run when they showed up wanting to be my friend.  And nope, try again.  Do you want a hint?

You got a Troll? I’m sorry, mate, that’s such a bummer. But hey, us below-acceptables gotta stick together! I was only joking, it’s me. Yeah, it’s cold, but I like hanging out with the Merfolk and the Giant Squid a lot. Gives me a chance to practice my Mermish! They say my accent sounds a lot more fishy than they’re used to hearing from land folk. I dunno how that happens, but I’m trying to sort it out.

Man, that sucks.  We should like get all of us together and form a club.  But like, you know make sure to get some one smart in the club to copy off of, you know?  That’s actually really neat, Giant Squids rock...I mean they have like a bazillion super muscular arms. So like to sound more fishy do you like squeak more?  I feel like squeaky noises are very fish like.

Well, guess who got a Dreadful on their latest Charms essay and had to chat with Professor Flitwick after class about extra credit opportunities to bring up my grade? Definitely not me. And, on a completely unrelated note, I think I’m gonna throw myself into the lake…

I was gonna guess me, but I got a Troll?  So who was it? And why are go you going swimming?  Isn’t it a little cold right now.  Is this like some new kinda training routine?