watch it burn

Pal: Most importantly, I listen to other people. I can't call myself intelligent if I ignore the social scene at Hogwarts, after all. And you seem to be very willfully ignoring the proof that you're doing something wrong.

Pal: I'm pretty sure they do. I've gotten shampoo in there before and they flushed it out pretty effectively. But no, it doesn't; the few people that matter enough are people I know well enough to simulate a conversation with easily. And besides, this is all assuming someone will die before I have the capacity to transfer a digital copy of their consciousness to a robot. A common saying, psh. Just because something's common doesn't make it any less dumb.

Paloma: Everybody around here is just scared of how boring they are and they'll do anything to try and forget it, I guess. Unfortunately for them, there are people like us around who are acutely aware that they're vapid through and through. And pshhh stop, and by stop I mean please call me a genius every day for the rest of our lives; Lord knows someone should acknowledge it. Good. Idk, you could have a new secret best friend that you want to join in lol how would I know?

Pal: I don't believe that. If the person closest to me died, I wouldn't cry; the whole 'grief' that follows a death is purely performative, or else we wouldn't have funerals. And lol surprises aren't often, by their nature - people being surprised often just means they don't pay attention and that's not the same thing as expecting the unexpected. It's like not expecting anything.

Pal: You asked me for a reason. Maybe because nobody has ever called me a bully and that makes me automatically more qualified than you.

Pal: Still doesn't make sense to me. Everybody is going to die, if we cried over every death, we'd never stop. If you'd rather be fascinated by people's deaths than sad, I'm not going to judge. And I don't believe in deep down - either something makes sense or it doesn't, either you feel something or you don't, and if a phrase can't be explained, maybe it doesn't make sense.

Paloma: Why do they make it seem like such a challenge? I swear, it must be because 70% of our classmates love hearing themselves talk so much that they can't help but give themselves away with chatter, it's sad. I know, right? Everyone's stressing about OWLs as if it's really going to be that hard. Tonight after dinner sounds good. And don't tell anyone what we're doing. Obviously.

Pal: No, they won't. They'll get stronger and better because of actual events or moments in life that make them productive and good or they'll fail, and either way they won't think of you for a second. If anything, you'll be the girl that bullied them that they feel stronger for surviving, but that's it. It's not even about your insults. Your whole attitude that you think you're better than them and that you can fix people by pointing out their failings is not subtle at all, and pretty pretentious, and extraordinarily condescending. People as a rule hate that.

Pal: Don't ask me, it's one of the inane rituals that people cry at, right next to weddings and funerals. Do you hear how much of an oxymoron that is? Expect the unexpected? If you're expecting it, it CAN'T be unexpected.

Pal: Incorrect. I don't need any help to remember that. And the situation with Tommy is different because it sounds as though he's asking for constructive criticism and feedback for that exact purpose. You can't just assume everybody wants to hear what you have to say about how they could 'be better'. People are sensitive about that for whatever reason. I don't relate to it but even I've figured that out by now. I'm surprised you haven't, you're not stupid.

Paloma: I guess. As long as it's sneaking around with you, I can deal; it's too much effort for anyone else. And let's get started now. Why not, right? This term is so easy, nothing wrong with a more complicated project.

Pal: At least you'll be able to blame the crying on graduation. Apparently people are supposed to cry at those. And lmao, considering something an option solely because it's so unlikely is the opposite of the scientific method but you do you.

Pal: If you can only think of one person that your comments have helped, then it can be said that the rest of your criticism is, at the very best, nothing, and at the very worst, shitty. I can't give you specific examples, I tend to tune you out when you start being a bitch to people. It's a necessary survival skill if I'm to be your roommate.

Paloma: Sneaking feels so beneath us but I guess it is more feasible. Want to make that recreation our secret term project?

Pal: That would be anticlimactic if you ask me but you seem able to put an enthusiastic spin on anything. I can't see the Bloody Baron ever having had a lover though. Or if he did, he would have killed them in a way that left no blood. We have magic, you know.

Pal: There's a reason it's called 'constructive criticism' as opposed to just 'criticism'. It's the 'constructive' part you've obviously yet to master and unfortunately for you, that's what makes the difference between someone being helpful and someone being a bitch.

Pal: I don't think the quality of ghosts particularly counts as a pro or a con but I'm glad you can amuse yourself lmao. What if he's just bloody for the aesthetic? That would be such a plot twist.