a bunch of midichlorians in a trenchcoat

Puppies you so cutes awww Maybe too cutes because i like it so much i want to kill your enemies without hesitation

More like stuppies (stupid) because puppies are fucking lame and also dumb

I will defeat you.

all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.

god forbid you teach kids that their consent should be respected rather than about the inherent immorality of all the sinful actions of their peers

americans will say is this constitutional like any one cares what their founding human traffickers have to say

The only things I’m memorializing today are a couple beers

Dont announced your crimes over unsecured channels dumbass

I've spent the past month cooped up in a motel in Orange County planning my theft, before I steal the sign I will set off a cache of fireworks I've placed 5 blocks away from the nearest police station which will rain down on the pigs, the perfect diversion.

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice