The Webcomics Review

(I also have a lot of feelings as a Jew about liberally throwing in Nazi symbols into your webcomic like the author does constantly but that’s a whole other discussion)

Hm. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I don't think characters need to look at the camera every now and then to be "FYI nazis are bad", and I certainly don't think Hans Vogel is Dead is pro-Nazi

See?

And I'm also cognizant of how "Something hasn't been addressed in a long time" is a subset of "webcomics take fucking forever to make".

But for a comic that sells itself as an anti-fascist comic about a nazi going to a fairy tale land and learning that fascism is bad, the whole "nazi" thing hasn't come up that much. Even the site's "about" page euphemistically calls him a "card-carrying party member" without mentioning the party, and Hans is established as being vaguely uncomfortable being a nazi from minute one, never wears a swastika, and conveniently dies in 1940 before the Holocaust begins. He's never presented as a Nazi that needs to unlearn fascism, he's presented as a decent dude who just kind of happened to be on the wrong side of the war and has already realized it. Even the shield that's supposedly representative of his dark past has a griffin on it instead of, say, a black eagle.

And I get it. It's completely understandable that you don't want your protagonist of your anti-fascist webcomic waving a swastika and going on rants about ridding the world of degenerates and shit. I can't imagine the discourse if that happened. (especially given that this comic started in 2015 and the real world context around fascism was about to change quite a bit). But there's a really strong tension between "The comic is about the evils of fascism and a fascist learning to change" and "I want my protagonist to not be a fucking nazi" and the comic is trying to split the difference in a way I don't think works. I'm a little worried that Reineke is going to be Jewish and that's why Hans literally can not see her as human because I don't think that metaphor's going to work at all.

I know I'm supposed to have "thoughts" and "analysis" and things but sometimes I just want to say "I have no fucking idea what's going on in this comic but it's pretty good and you should read it" and right now I'm feeling that way about Bleating Heart.

What's really throwing me is that this is an intermission that takes place twenty-ish years in the future of the main comic, and introduces a lot of romance drama that's extremely messy emotionally and literally for Clover and Devin, but it's an intermission and presumably we're going to go back to Clover and Devin as little kids where Clover's all like

It was like six hours ago I get so many asks. I stopped playing Mina the Hollower for this, it better be an amazing update.

Anyway, you don't have to think about that anymore because it seems like the leet hex finally managed to get a few hooks into cha.OS! Wait... what are all these hidden functionalities? Full remote viewing? Temporal tracking? This is... really advanced. And really, really invasive. Ugh!

"Leet hex" was a funny joke the first time but you kind of shouldn't repeat it. Speaking of repeating an old joke, an O RLY reference? I know mid-2000s internet culture is the Delta kids' "thing" but Christ.

That meme is from 2005 (memes lasted longer back then). That's older than any of the new characters. It's older than Homestuck itself. If you remember this meme it's time for your prostate exam. "FIRE DA LAZAH!1" is a reference to Shoop Da Woop, a meme of Cell Dragonball Z in blackface from 2006, and the "!1" is just a common "thing" from back then. I'm explaining all this because these memes are so dated that Homestuck is becoming a period piece. In original Homestuck, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff was made so that the beta kids could reference "internet memes" like real kids but not reference real memes that'd be dated. Homestuck 2 is leaning into the dated.

Do like the Winamp, though. Loved Winamp. It really whipped the Llama's ass.

Allegedly Achewood used an AI upscaler to embiggen their strips and now the lettering is all very slightly fucked.

I can't confirm if AI was used but...there's something wrong here, yeah.

I don't have home internet right now and haven't for a week. Hopefully that'll be fixed tomorrow but let's see if I can liveblog Homestuck 2 on my very limited Mobile Hotspot data plan I need to use for my actual job. A wise decision!

Del'fi is making a comic than takes place in jail and shows various characters as Nymphs and Satyrs. Vriska we've seen before, but there's also Dave (in his new outfit on the meat ship, meaning this is Meat Dave) along with Callie, Karkat, Jane, Dirk (??), a spooky purple Nymph I think is meant to be Rose, and a mustached marchmellow I assume from context is meant to be Jake. Notably not present, if this is the "canon" cast, are Jade, Roxy, and Kanaya. Also also, there's a...thing....next to Jane. A scorch mark? A pile of hay? I can't tell what it's supposed to be. Did someone explode?

This is such obvious foreshadowing except that I have no idea what it could possibly mean.

I will note, though, that this is "bad" art but I'm kind of digging it.

Possibly the most interesting word here is "Should". Why is Rose killing Karkat a hypothetical in the same scene where Jane and Vriska gambling is explicitly happening?

This is a good joke and possibly a humanimals reference but is that Roxy there? As....baby? With a *squints* lizard tail? I'm completely lost. Maybe it's princess Berryboo from Squiddle lore for all I know.

So...Vriska captures Dirk, Jane is mad about it, but Terezi causes Dirk to escape only to get caught by....AA. Either the new AA or Aradia. Probably Aradia.

Oh. No. It's Roxy. In red for some reason. I'm completely lost.

So. Ugh. So, there's only one Gamzee and he's trapped in Candyland and also fucking dead. I suppose Candy Jane could revive him but I think the HSBC team is trying to move past all the weird sex stuff in HS2 and Jane reviving Gamzee would also require reminding us that middle-aged gamzee had sex with teenage Vriska in the epilogues.

God, why do I defend Homestuck 2.

Um...

Uh....

Hm....

Is that Scout TF2?

Oh! Wait! Is Del'fi "colaborating" with Calliope? And thus...that would expect several things but raise several more issues. It's my best guess. I think the big metal guy with a "grate big hart" is...Dirk? Maybe he becomes a robot too? I dunno.

Wait, actually, these prompts are apparently submitted on the forums, but I don't know if I believe they're "real", or if they're plants. Or if it matters.

What is up with all the ball and chains on both versions of Dave? Candy Dave's "ball and chain" is his wife Jade that he ran away from but that doesn't apply to Meat Dave in any way.

Also note that Candy Dave has a horn and wings and Meat Dave only has wings. Aradia has a horn and wings, too.

Fucking hell I need to look up the Lore.

An ALKYRIN is the synthesis of all three morphotypes, heavenly warriors spoken of in your species' earliest cultural legends. To be clear, there is no historical evidence for the existence of Alkyrins. They are as mythical as HORSES, and anyone who believes in them is kind of a sucker, but you do suppose they make a very potent symbol for satyrkind as a whole.

So an Alkyrin (or Alicorn) is a synthesis of all the different types, which I guess in this context means they're representative of Dave and Aradia being Ultimates? But if that means something what do the other horse types mean? Do they mean anything? Dave being wings could be a Davesprite reference, Karkat being an Earth Pony could reference his mortality (and Stallions can control their hormones which is Blood kinda) and then Jane...is just so there's one of each type? I dunno. I legitimately don't know if this is 2deep4me or pure gibberish, and man is that Homestuck as all hell or what?

Also doesn't Calliope use They/Them pronouns?

And isn't Al possessing Jade's body? We're not just not seeing Jade in this comic, Del'Fi is actively hiding her.

God, the last thing this franchise needs is ANOTHER Vriska-related Retcon. We've already had two!

Where did everyone go and why are we in a white void?

Though this retcon is apparently one of John's. Presumably the currently dead Meat John. Who has bat wings.

Oh yeah, actually, that's Lord English's tooth still in him.

Predictably, your readers immediately start eating it up. Sometimes you despair for art.

Is this even real foreshadowing or is an elaborate shitpost of an update?

I went ahead and looked at the forums and there's some theorizing that the ball and chains do represent Jade

But besides the theory having a funny name it doesn't really make sense. Ultimate Dave remembers every Jade that any version of Dave ever met, so there's nothing limiting him to four, and there's only one Jade he's really connected to anyway.

(Also "Pre-retcon Jade" is Masterpiece Jade and is thus also the Jade whose body Al is possessing)

But also Meat Dave and Meat Jade reconciled offscreen like a few dozen pages ago so her currently being his ball and chain makes no sense. That relationship is dead and everyone involved as moved on and Dave is married to Karkat now.

I don't like when a comic is set in The Past and then they reference something from The Past that people aren't really nostalgic for it's just there to confirm that this is indeed The Past and I remember that thing because I am Old.

Any idea what happened? You're my go-to for webcomic news, so I was wondering if you had any insight.

The drama has made me less interested in liveblogging Homestuck than I have been in a while, but two separate people asked me about it, and who am I to deny the people?

Anyway, Jake and Karkat are having an argument in the command terminal, while Del'fi draws. Not that there was much doubt of it before, but this is clearly

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS FUCKER THREW HIS OWN PHONE ON THE FLOOR AND CLAIMED HE DROPPED IT SO THAT I'D GO PICK IT UP, JUST SO HE COULD KEEP BEING A PAIN IN YOUR ASS? ANYWAYS SORRY AGAIN, APPARENTLY THIS DIPSHIT IS COOL WITH REWATCHING 'MEET DAVE' FOUR TIMES BUT IS TOO INCURIOUS TO SIT BACK AND SEE WHERE THINGS GO? RATHER SAD, ISN'T IT?

Not that there was much doubt, but this is clearly the Meat versions of Jake and Karkat, who are in their mid-20s and generally a bit closer to the original comic's characterization.

Good god these two simply can NOT shut up! You're used to catching occasional psychic missives from power-hungry crones who attempt to delve down in pursuit of your prisoner's power, but this is the most obnoxious it's ever been! It's as if these two were made in a lab specifically to torture you.

(The joke is that this is literally true).

Del'fi is much better able to perceive that he's being given commands than most Homestuck characters, which could be classpecty or could be worldbuilding since Psychic characters have been better at picking this kind of thing up, but I think it's most just that Jake and Karkat are fucking irritating even beyond the veil.

It is interesting to speculate over where (and, given it's Homestuck, when) everyone is, but I think the most likely explanation is the most obvious: The meat crew got exiled out of the game and are stuck in the ruins of Deltritus, and from their perspective are near the end of HSBC. Terezi isn't, she's in the "present" of the comic, but I think the rest are.

To shut them up, you open up TRENCH2PEAK. It's a multiplayer life-sim romance actionRPG sandbox game that you've been playing a lot for the past lap or so, another secret cross-net initiative for the few brave souls of each species who chose to circumvent the mutual isolation pact in their noble pursuit of ONLINE GAMING.

"Trench2Peak" is a reference to how the more isoltated Satyrs live in the peaks of the land and the more isolated Nymphs in the trenches of the ocean, but in this context I think it's also a bit of a sex joke. I'm kind of intrigued by a society separated into lesbian fish and gay horses where het relationships are a weird taboo, though Del'Fi being transmasc makes this not quite that. I do wonder how the Nymphs/Satyrs will react to Vrissy's two boyfriends who smoke weed.

You've set up a pretty complicated private server that you and CT have been using as one of the many fronts in your campaign of epic collaborative storytelling, which has the dual advantage of allowing you to install even crazier mods than the native game supports and keeping CT away from any of the few other players, who might inadvertently alert him to your non-terrestrial nature and ruin everything forever.

"Hey bro, you know what would be a good game for us, as a pair of men, to play together" "What, bro?" "A game about Nymphs and Satyrs learning from each other, bro" "Bro!"

Actually, there's maybe 50/50 odds that CT is transfem and this is a het ship after all, though nothing has indicated that.

Satyrs are, above almost anything else, encouraged and expected to exceed in all they pursue, or at the very least to exceed in the endeavors that they have chosen to most define themselves by. Are you an athlete? You'd better be up at the crack of dawn on that #grindset.

Hm....

For millennia, FRATERNITY has been exemplified by the FRATERNITY SYSTEM

I realize that the extremely gendered nature of this is part of #ThePoint but you still could've come up with a good name for things.

And I know it's a Dirk v. Rose thing as much as a Gen Z boys vs Gen Z girls thing (can't wait for the "Calfvicular" cameo, but that meme might be dead in a week and with as much meth as he's doing so might he) but it occurs to me that the real-world references are much more blatant for Satyrs than for Nymphs, but I guess there's not really a "female" internet subculture as infamous, culturally relevant, easily parodied as the sigma grindset dudes that now rule us. Or maybe it's just my male privilege speaking that I don't recognize the nymphs except maybe as being New Age-y but not really because this is a setting where Majjycks are real. Perhaps it'll be more obvious when we get the inevitable Nymph romance guide.

Strong men produce good times, good times produce strong men

Speaking of politically tinged cultural references...

Everything about this image is cursed, but especially that Final Fantasy XIV inventory in the top-right. Clean that shit out!

There are three relationship roles codified in traditional SATYR ROMANCE: the ALPHA, the OMEGA, and the BETA.

While this is obviously a reference to Omegaverse fanfic, remember that the humans come in Alpha, Beta, and Omega variants. The Nymphs/Satyrs are the Delta kids, so interesting that there's no Delta here.

Each plays a different role within the individual romantic unit that makes up one satyr relationship, called a HARRAS, and each contributes to the success of that harras in different ways

You didn't even combine two words to make a weird pun...that's just a normal word....

The role of the ALPHA can be summed up as the role of the LEADER. The alpha of a harras is expected to guide, lead, and protect the partnership. Alphas were traditionally expected to act as representatives of the harras in society at large. Traits traditionally considered alpha are assertiveness, decorum, and gravitas.

The Alpha kids are Dirk/Jake/Jane/Roxy, and this is Dirk's race so obviously he's on top.

The role of the OMEGA can be summed up as the role of the CHALLENGER. An omega exists as a galvanizing force within his harras that keeps it from calcifying, provoking his partners and daring them not to become too comfortable, ensuring that ideas and power flow freely between its members. Traits traditionally considered omega are indomitability, creativity, and spontaneity.

The Omega kids are Yiffy/Tavvy/Vrissy/Harry, and this is also pretty obvious foreshadowing since they're challenging Dirk's plan and keeping Homestuck from just being a closed loop.

The role of the BETA is best understood as the role of the SUPPORTER. A beta is there to ensure the needs of his harrasmates are met, to lift their spirits when they're down, to most fully exemplify the masculine bond that the harras stays together for. Betas were something of an interesting outlier in traditional A/O/B relationships of a more classical era, as they were not expected to participate in the sexual aspect of the relationship, functioning more analogously to the housewife you cherish and happily return home to, without the pressures of coitus, but this is an artifact that history has left behind in modernity. Traits traditionally considered beta are adaptability, supportiveness, and steadfastness.

The Beta kids are the original four of John/Jade/Dave/Rose, and this is the most interesting. They weren't expected to participate since they're housewives you adore but don't bang, but now they will. Hmm.

(Fandom refers to the dancestors as the alpha trolls and the main trolls as the beta, but that's not a term used in the comic I don't think)

One could be forgiven for thinking that an alpha equates to what you'd consider a "dom" where sex is concerned; not so. You could have dom alphas, sub alphas, service top betas, switch omegas, hung bottom omegas, feral omegas... just the thought of it is enough to make the nose bleed

The fact that the Omega kids are the children of the Alphas and Betas does admittedly make this part of the metaphor read weird, but maybe that's implying someone will change "sides", like Harry joining Dirk or Rose rejoining the rest of the beta kids, etc. That lets you fit the trolls in, with Terezi as an "Alpha" and the rest with the Betas.

Del'Fi cuts off his own (brand new) arm to shut down the terminal commands, which is a reference to

From the original comic's intermission, where Jack lost and arm turning the terminal on.

And, since we're looking at the intermission anyway, we can see that the terminal Jake and Karkat are using is indeed an exile terminal, complete with a black house and gray tubes, just with different screens.

I haven't even read Streidcraft, but you could have atleast clicked on the source of that image and see that it's down at the trivia section of the fandom page and isn't actually a picture of the school.

I think my official stance is I'm So Fucking Tired. I haven't read it all, there's so much Homestuck drama. The Homestuck team and Makin hating each other is not new and, so far as I can tell, not actually important. Discord banned the unofficial Homestuck server for unknown reasons that may or may not have had to do with their regular "Let's all watch a stream of a copyrighted movie" nights. Some members of the Homestuck team were reporting posts on it and were happy and surprised when it went under. There's a callout post that's pages upon pages of random discord screenshots that I can't be assed to read.

And while Team Homestuck is notorious for getting into stupid fights with literally everyone and has done some actually for-real shitty behavior in the past (refusal to credit people on Hiveswap mostly), the thinness of the main accusation and Makin's blatant attempts to whip up a mob over it has got me kinda

The "Trapped in a high school" arc has been going on for 3,249 pages and counting so I wouldn't get your hopes up.