I Believe in Dean Winchester

Demon Dean  | 10x01 Black

Demon Dean  | 10x01 Black 

Just re-watched “What is and What Should Never Be” and found this. I was a Deangirl from the start but after this episode I knew I always would be. This video is an AU based on the episode but the lyrics to Creep really go with the episode clips and Dean and Mary together always break my heart. 

Why can’t Dean be happy???????

**googles “crying gif” to express my feelings and guess which is number one search result** 

shotgun shuts his cakehole.

I WANT FOOD

WHAT EVEN IS FOOD

I really want Dean to be the chosen one, I know the writers will choose Sam again but writers are meant to beat their characters down to build them up but with Dean they just seem to beat him down again and again and again without the building up part and I want him to have the chance to get to know his own worth like Sam has had.

Sam feels good about saving the World and has said something along the lines of after everything he’s been through he feels he’s made up for the bad. Dean needs that moment where he feels he’s a Hero because he truly is, he doesn’t have to prove himself to me, Sam never had to either but I think Dean needs it for himself.

For Sam to be chosen again will be pointless in terms of character development. It will be another merit badge on top of the ones he’s already got but to think that Dean, the guy who believes he’s 99% crap might actually be free of some of the guilt and weight he’s carried for 10 years and be able to say the same things about himself that Sam has been able to say would be an amazing cathartic moment both for the character and fans.

We’ve had storylines about Dean believing in Sam’s abilities and strength but we’ve never had it told the other way round, Sam’s made nice speeches like before the trials but then he stepped in instead of Dean which shows he didn’t have faith in Dean after all. 

Sam’s never really shown the same belief in Dean that Dean’s shown in Sam and it stems from the writers preferring Sam for the chosen Hero moments as their self-insert character. If Dean’s on course to be the chosen one Sam steps in and it’s then up to Dean to believe in Sam rather than Sam believing in Dean from the get go so it’s no wonder Dean doesn’t feel good about himself.

This is about how writer bias and “MarySue-ing” kills the quality of the writing. For this post I’m inventing a new trope “Adaming” for whenever the writers contrive a reason to take Dean out of the action because the invention of a 3rd Winchester brother to take over Dean’s storyline after a 2 year build up with Dean’s connection to Michael was the ultimate Adaming and happened because Sera Gamble was taking over as showrunner and being a self-confessed Samgirl wanted it to be “only Sam” taking a dive in to the pit so we’d have soulless Sam in s6, therefore two years of story build up for Dean was basically scrapped because of writer bias.

Season 11 and Adaming of Dean and Mary-Sueing of Sam is as strong as ever because why is it that only Sam can defeat the Darkness? I get the writers want it to be Sam and therefore needed to invent a reason to sideline Dean from doing it so we have this Adaming with the Amarra “bond” to bench him but we’ve seen that Dean can get close to her and he overcame her influence to attempt to stab her already, if he had the right weapon at the time she would have been dead.

If this was Sam in Dean’s position Dean’s storyline would be needing to learn to have faith in Sam so why is there never a storyline where Sam has to develop faith in Dean? Instead Sam is always telling Dean he can’t do it and he’ll handle things instead. It happened with stopping him from saying yes to Michael even though Dean’s plan made more sense than trusting with no prior evidence that Sam could overcome Lucifer’s control since previously he couldn’t even overcome a lowly Demon like Meg’s influence. 

Sam also did it with the trials claiming Dean couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and would kill himself in the process of doing them and then the show made Dean the “bad guy” for talking about stopping the last trial so Sam wouldn’t kill himself. The reason Sam got to do the trials was because Dean was “Adamed” by a noise leaving Sam to kill a Hellhound and then the condition of the trials was they could only be done by ONE so Dean was Adamed on the sidelines to make him soup and sandwiches.  

The trials were a complete MarySue joke. The fact they made Hell stupidly easy to get in and out of and Bobby’s cell door unlocked just so Sam could pull it off, the way Sam had to fight through Purgatory after rescuing Bobby and the fact he had to do it all while he was suffering “trial sickness” was just contrived writing to get Sam from A-B and a Hero sticker. The big thing with MarySue writing is everything and everyone around the MarySue is weakened to create the effect they are strong (latest example of Sam near death but defeating 2 werewolves twice his size)

It’s happening again with Sam telling Dean he can’t defeat Amarra and Dean never believes in himself (no wonder with his “support group” around) so he goes along with the party line but we already have in writing more evidence that Dean can overcome Amarra’s influence than we had that Sam could overcome Lucifer because he’s already proved it. Who knows what Dean is capable of if Sam decided to have a little faith and allowed Dean to have faith in himself. 

But even if we go with the excuse Dean can’t do it because of the “bond” why is everyone convinced that makes Sam the only one that can? On what evidence other than the show wants it to be Sam so it’s going to be Sam? This is God’s sister we’re talking about, she’s the most powerful being they’ve ever encountered and the other equally powerful beings including God can’t defeat her but we’re meant to believe Sam is the only one that can based on what?

They haven’t read any lore that indicates only Sam can, it took Lucifer to lock her away but Sam said no to being his vessel again, they haven’t built in the ground work to lead up to us believing only Sam can other than just saying it. If Sam even has the right weapon how is he going to get close to her unless Dean’s bait in which case it will be “only Sam and Dean can defeat the darkness” but that’s not what they saying so far, it’s this “Sam the chosen one” merry go round again but with no lore backing it up even if they write the lore in later we’ve still had the “fact” before the reasoning.

It’s Lucifer who locked her away so is Sam going to become Lucifer again? Are they really that out of ideas they’re going for Swan Song take two? but again Sam’s connection to Lucifer isn’t on the table because Sam said no so again why at this point in the story is it only Sam that can defeat the Darkness and this belief she can be defeated by anyone other than Lucifer? 

It’s happened I’ve turned into a Deangirl after soooo many years of being a card carrying Samgirl. I’ve been fighting it but I’ve just watched Red Meat and it really hit me in hard and don’t get me wrong I still love Sam but I have this thing where I always back the underdog and I feel like there’s nothing really left for Sam to overcome, he’s had Hero journeys where he’s screwed up and proved to himself and everyone what he’s capable of and he’s fixed any mistakes he’s made and saved the World and it’s amazing, he’s amazing but it feels like where else are they going to go with Sam? He might be on course to save the Universe but in a weird way I feel like it’s not as big a deal as when he saved the World because I’m not rooting for Sam as the underdog anymore. He’s like the fully grown Superhero, he’s Sam Fucking Winchester you kind of just expect him to do it now because we’ve been here before with Sam and he seems to be pretty well rounded and confident in his abilities whereas Dean has a long way to go in terms of character development and the writers seem to get so far but then pull back and allow Sam to step up to the ring because no one believes in Dean and it’s just really sad. 

I think Dean desperately needs validation to prove to himself he’s strong and he’s important and that his life means something and if Sam dies he shouldn’t want to cease to exist, that’s beyond tragic so I want Dean to have his chance to prove he’s equal to Sam with Sam having faith in Dean’s abilities and rooting for Dean to succeed. 

That’s what I want but I don’t get the sense it will happen but the show and fandom seem more critical and mean to Dean and it’s bringing my mamma bear instincts out so I’m rooting for my smol bean to grow and bite back when anyone puts him down and prove he’s just as strong as Sam because I know he is, he just needs to have faith in himself and for others to have faith in him.

I think if he’s allowed to prove himself it will do wonders for his self-worth. They need to complete Dean’s Hero journey but I’m so scared he’ll just sacrifice himself because he feels like the less important player and if he has to die I want him to go out in a blaze of glory knowing his life has meant something and that he’s every bit as important as Sam. 

Hey dear!

Yes, and I kind of think that’s what the past seasons and this season in particular have been shaping up to be and to deliver. For Dean to free himself from the things that weigh him down in a coming of age story. The entire MoC arc has always been about Dean’s struggle, it was his struggle to come out stronger on the other side and then before he could try and find this balance the choice was taken from him and along came S11.

That said, I have said this a few times and of course this is just my guess from how I read the story thus far and in that it simply does not make any sense to end this arc for Dean with anything other than him realizing his own importance and have another character suddenly jump in when it’s simply not their struggle (helping yes, but not being the only one). You don’t emphasize that a character feels like he has nothing to offer, but only be a bystander to have that happen in the most pivotal moment too, but to have said character grow over himself and realize that he is playing an important part. We had that pattern countless times with various charactes and arcs, so there’s no reason why this would not play out for Dean this way too.

And I just have to think of one of my all time favourite books and one of my all time favourite quotes that imo seem very relevant and fitting when it comes to this arc. It’s from Jon Krakauer’s “Into the Wild” and it says

“I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong… to measure yourself at least once.”    

That’s what I see coming for Dean, what Dean needs, to feel strong, this is Dean’s hero’s journey, his final individuation, his freeing himself of his father’s ghost. I still think a Dean version of “Swan Song” could fully be in the cards to happen, but of course that’s just me. :)

+ to be hugged by his mother one more time and not in a dream or a vision or a memory, but the real thing and cherish that moment

+ to be able to fall asleep without a drop of alcohol being involved in order to not have nightmares

+ to see himself just a tiny bit the way I see him: as a man who was forced to grow up too fast, who thought he had to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders from his childhood onwards, a man who always tried to be what he thought he neeeded to be instead of allowing himself to become who he truly is: a guy with a heart the size of the Eiffel Tower, someone who loves with everything he got, a man who deserves all the good in the world

+ to dance through the bunker in nothing but his “dead guy robe”, socks and a boxer shorts while singing “I Am the One And Only, Nobody Else I’d Rather Be” at the top of his lungs and grow comfortable in his own skin

+ to build up self confidence and start to believe that he is worthy and important

+ to be happy