roy harper call me

Five hours ago this had seemed like a good idea. Harvey had wanted to watch something scary but Bruce hadn’t wanted to watch a movie-movie, so they’d compromised with a documentary about sharks. Which was fine in theory, but about five seconds in Bruce had interrupted the unsettling cello music to say that actually, this was deliberately misleading and actually pretty insidious, and that sharks are an animal just like any other so it’s really not fair that they’re so heavily demonised especially given the number of sharks killed by humans per year compared to the number of fatal shark attacks. At which point Harvey had asked if he wanted to watch something else.

“No, I just. It’s–” Bruce sighed and crossed his arms. “It’s fine. I don’t care. It’s probably, like, factually accurate, it’s just presented in a biased way I don’t agree with. Whatever.”

And Harvey had laughed and turned up the volume and pulled his legs up under himself. The flaw in the plan wasn’t inherent to the plan itself. Bad documentary aside, they’re having fun. They’re not stoned or drunk or anything because neither of them really felt like it, but they ordered pizza after the first documentary ended and just sort of… stayed on the channel. It’s sort of background noise at this point, the various instruments and calm voices describing the islands and reefs.

It’s nice, honestly. In times like these, Harvey wishes he was someone else, someone who can just enjoy sitting in silence without feeling the need to talk or move. They’ve both had a long week, and they both needed this, it’s just–

It’s just that there’s no way he can relax with Bruce in the room. It’s just that Bruce has been perfectly still this whole time, when Harvey has kept shifting around trying to subtly get further away while they both slowly migrate towards the middle of the shitty couch. It’s just that Harvey keeps sneaking glances at Bruce and there’s no way Bruce hasn’t noticed.

Everything is conspiring against him. Worst crush since middle school – most inopportune crush, too, because it’s the first time he’s had an actual best friend since middle school – and here they are, alone in the dark in their shared room. 

It’s been worse, for sure. Harvey has seen Bruce shirtless, he’s heard Bruce bring dates back here, that sort of thing. But it’s always been fleeting, or something he can ignore. This is five hours a foot away from Bruce, and the light from the tv keeps dancing across his face that makes the blue of his eyes look invisible.

It’s honestly cruel, thinks Harvey. It’s not, not really, just him being unable to have the right reaction to anything. He can’t accept friendship without wanting to devour it, and he accepted that long ago. Being dramatic about it is the only thing keeping him grounded right now, but it’s untenable and he’s been arguing both sides in his head for hours now, so he turns his attention to the tv.

Nothing sinks in. Harvey watches a small octopus get washed back and forth as the narration slowly tunes itself out. It’s then that his exhaustion decides to kick in and bit by bit his body stops feeling tangible. He can feel where he ends, but there’s nothing actually inside him, just a big empty void where a real person should be.

The screen’s a little blurry now. Harvey shuts his eyes, tries to remind himself that he’s here, that he needs to get it together for just a bit longer because he’s not alone - and Bruce’s fingers come to rest over his own.

It’s so much of a relief that Harvey almost wants to cry. They’ve trial runned this; Bruce hates people touching him no matter how close they are, but he knows Harvey needs it to feel like he’s tethered to something. Hence the hand touch.

“Hey,” says Bruce quietly.

Harvey takes a long while to answer, but it’s time he needs to come back down into himself. “Hi.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

Bruce doesn’t finish the sentence. His hand hasn’t left Harvey’s. Oh god.

“Go on?”

“What are you–” Bruce stops for a moment and visibly makes an effort to relax. “What are you doing over winter break?”

It’s a normal question. It doesn’t mean anything. “Uh, nothing, probably? Going home?”

“Do you have to?” Bruce asks quickly, like he had the question ready before Harvey had finished talking.

Harvey thinks about it. It’s not like his dad actively wants him there, but where else would he go? He can’t just not go home, give no reason for it and spend a month fucking… wandering the streets? In a motel?

“Probably, yeah. It’s not like I have anywhere else I need to be.”

There has to be another layer to this. Surely, surely Bruce is going somewhere with this line of questioning, and he’s not just making Harvey think about it for no reason.

“Do you…” Bruce starts, then falters and tries again. “You don’t have to, obviously, I’m not going to force you to– Harvey.”

“Yes?” Harvey’s caught between wanting to laugh at Bruce, just a little, and feeling like a prey animal, and it shows in his voice, the nervous tremor of it.

“Do you want to maybe stay with me at the Manor over break?” he asks finally, looking at something that isn’t there over Harvey’s shoulder, the closest he can probably come to eye contact right now.

Holy shit. Of course Harvey wants to stay with him. He’d stay with Bruce in a shitty one bedroom apartment in Connecticut if Bruce asked.

“Like, Wayne Manor?” he asks.

“No, the other manor that I have that just never came up,” deadpans Bruce, tension abating.

“In all fairness, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did have one of those.”

“Yeah, well, I meant Wayne Manor. Where I live. All the time.”

Harvey smiles. It’s shit like this, like opening his house up with no ulterior motive, that makes Harvey feel like his whole chest is nothing but feeling. “I’d love to,” he says.

More than anything his main personality trait (besides being silly, a robin staple) is kinda coming into this parentified as fuck. Not that it's Catherine's fault, but it really shaped his character, like one of the first things he says to Bruce (after he promised not to turn Jason in to the foster system) is that he kept her fed and warm as long as he could like he wasn't her ten year old child when he started. It's why he views himself on the same level as adults and why he gets all closed off at any insinuation that he needs to be taken care of, both of which heavily inform his dynamic with Bruce. He's constantly checking in on Bruce's wellbeing, like half of Batman: the Cult is just him taking care of Bruce while he recuperates from being brainwashed. (Side note, he's also constantly asking Bruce stuff like "what's your relationship like with this woman or this rogue or the concept of religion, how did that play out, how do you feel about it?" he is Very chatty like that.) The first thing he does when Sheila tells him her (revised to exclude medical malpractice) life story is hold HER and try to affirm her struggle. After a while he starts to act more childish with Bruce (although he doesn't really stop trying to brush off attempts to care for him) but as soon as Bruce admits he prioritized crimefighting over Jason and didn't show up to look after Jason like Jason assumed he came there for, Jason snaps back to acting very independent and rejecting any attempts to be looked after on any terms other than some kind of "equals" thing, which he isn't, as he's a 15 year old boy. Like. He's very sweet to his former neighbor, but also he refers to being a homeless child and the sole provider in his condemned building living situation as "getting by" to her.