Cards On The Table

Life feels right because these shorts are back in The Penthouse universe. No place more suitable for their comeback than the Reagan family beach trip.

"When will fanfic writers update their stories?"

And never

"Does this fanfic writer have adequate enrichment to engage in writing behaviours?"

Fanfiction writers (Scriptor fictus) are intelligent animals who need plenty of enrichment as well as encouragement! If they're stuck in poor conditions (e.g. have studies, work, have to actually write to have something written) then they require the proper enrichment to engage in more healthy behaviours, like writing. Remember, due to poor breeding and socialisation, over half of all fanfic writers suffer from low self confidence and executive dysfunction so take care of them!

If you forgot it existed, there's a Pretty Woman-inspired Joble fic I write sometimes! And now there's an update! Same dummies, different universe.

“I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. I'm still working through it personally, but the best thing about me is that if an alcoholic or drug addict comes up to me and says, 'Will you help me?' I will always say, 'Yes, I know how to do that. I will do that for you, even if I can't always do it for myself! So I do that, whenever I can. In groups, or one on one.

And I created the Perry House in Malibu, a sober-living facility for men. I also wrote my play The End of Longing, which is a personal message to the world, an exaggerated form of me as a drunk. I had something important to say to people like me, and to people who love people like me.

When I die, I know people will talk about Friends, Friends, Friends. And I'm glad of that, happy l've done some solid work as an actor, as well as given people multiple chances to make fun of my struggles on the world wide web...

but when I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if Friends were listed far behind the things I did to try to help other people.

I know it won't happen, but it would be nice.”

- Matthew Langford Perry

chapter 9: your faithless love's the only hoax i believe in (post 5x7)

Chris doesn't have any dinner plans for her birthday, content to let the day pass like every other year. Street has a different plan in mind.

tags/tws: alcoholism, shitty parents, childhood trauma/neglect, Chris's mom.

"X and Y" up there was supposed to be a couple of Klingon names. This non-completion/error made it all the way through editorial and copyedit, and numerous rereads of the MS at this end of things, and went to press.

Prompts for Reuniting with a Missing Friend

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

Character A felt their heart settle deep within their chest. "You're... you're alive."

B smiled that same idiotic smile that A had seen so many times in their dreams. "Hey, A."

Character A choked on a sob, shoving B away from them as they came in for a hug. "Get away from me," A breathed. "You don't get to just come back after being gone for years, pretending that everything is okay!"

"Don't you understand what you did to me?" A cried. "I mourned you, grieved over you for years. And just when I've finally come to accept that you were gone for good, you waltz back into my life that nothing happened?"

"I thought you were dead, B."

Character B stared at A with tears in their eyes. Their heart was pounding in their chest. "I missed you."

It's winter where I'm living and we have really bad snow. And the snow plow people are really bad at their jobs probably because there aren't snow plow people who clean sidewalks. As a solution I got to thinking about how I could increase the traction on my wheels. And the most redneck thing I could think of was taking a bunch of zip ties and tying them around my wheels. They last surprisingly long, and work surprisingly well. It's basically the same premise as chains for your tires during the winter.