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Ambers POV

As much as I didn’t want my husband to worry, he had reason to. I have never been suicidal, but I had thought more about the hearts limits. I knew I could never go through with killing myself. David doesn’t know the whole story. I went to the dr and I asked if he would shock my heart for me. I’ve been noticing a weird rhythm with it. After listening to my heart, the doc said ok.

How was I supposed to know I would flatline? The doc worked furiously for two minutes until my heartbeat was restored. I found it so enticing, I ended up requesting he try again. I didn’t dare say anything to David because I know he loves life and he finds the CPR part of cardiophillia to be too intense. I know deep down he worries about me.

I waited in anticipation to be called on. Today I’m seeing a doctor of fetishes. Mine is all about the human heart. I like listening to it, having it monitored, doing CPR on it, even shocking it.

“Amber?”

I shot up excitedly and my heart gave an excited kick. “Yes?”

“Follow me.” 

I was lead into an exam room where I was told to take off my top. “The doctor will see you soon.” The nurse left me alone in the room. 

I looked around and my eyes fell upon a stethoscope, and my eyes lit up. Perfect, I can get a listen in before the doc does. I went to grab the stethescope, only for the door to open.

“Amber Wilson?” The doc asked

“Yes?”

“Please verify your birthdate for me.”

Once I did he looked closely at me and cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. “What is concerning you?”

So serious and straight to business. I batted my eyelashes. “Last time I came to see you, i complained of chest pains and rapid heartbeat. It’s been happening a lot lately.” I clutched the middle of my chest tightly.

The docs eyebrows knitted in concern. “Ok, first off are you in pain right now?”

I nodded quickly. “It just started 5 minutes ago.”

“Will you let me take a listen?” The doc took hold of his stethoscope, and inserted the earpieces. Then he approached me.

I nodded, like last time he felt weird feeling my breast. At least he’s respectful. He placed the diaphragm onto my pulmonic valve.

“Breathe in and hold for a moment.”

I did as he said then released when told. He moved it to the mitral valve. “Ok, your hearts a bit elevated. Would it be ok if we did an ekg? There may be a problem with your hearts rhythm that my ears can’t detect.”

“Uh…ok then.” I replied nervously. “Do you think it’s anything serious?”

“Worst case, you may need an internal defibrillator to correct your hearts rhythm. But let’s not worry about that now.” The doc reassured me. “I’ll be right back..”

While he was gone, my heart rate shot up. Internal defibrillator?! I’ve heard about those. My father was given one and he died when the docs inserted it into his chest. The defibrillator was tested, but somehow the battery had been drained. He had an abnormal heart rhythm and the defibrillator never shocked it. The docs were too late.

I rubbed the middle of my chest as pain continued to flare there. The doc returned and began hooking me up. He turned on the monitor. After a few seconds , he nodded. “Just as I thought. You’re in afib.”

“Like last time I came. Will I need a shock?” I sent the doc a sly smile

He returned with a mischievous grin of his own. “Might have to. Do you consent to that?”

I took in a breath and released with a loud moan of longing. “Yes doc, I do. Anything to alleviate this chest pain.”

“Ok, the best I can do for now is…”

I groaned, “I have to wait?!”

The doc sighed deeply looking troubled, “if you wish to correct this now, i suggest accepting an ambulance.”

I shook my head, “my husband can’t know about this!”

The doc sighed, “it’s not advised for you to remain in afib for long. You need to fix it…now.”

I lowered my eyes, disappointed. “You are the only one that i trust with this.”