Average dude with an affinity for sneezing and sickness (kink blog) | 25-30 | She/her | very bisexual | my fics are tagged as Aa writes | pls no minors, it’s weird y’all
Not snz-specific (still don’t reblog on non-snz blogs please), but just yapping about enjoying caretaking amidst the V/ees from Ha/z/bin:
I’m Very Very Normal about V/ox caretaking (for completely unbiased reasons ofc, whoever would be in brainrot for that bastard since s2e4) because like. For some reason it’s partially due to like. He tends to want to take a more managerial role in general ig? Like in s1e2 we see a lot of him going around the tower to address problems the other two are experiencing and calm V/al down before he does anything too rash. In general we kinda see him making a lot of plans for the company/trio and pitching next moves (s2e1 ig LMAO) etc. And he’s always trying to persuade people into things (s1e2 hey V/al what if we Don’t rush over to the princess’s residence guns blazing, s2e1 hey besties what if we took over heaven, s2e5 gathering other overlords and rallying the crowd, etc.).
And in my mind those things combine into “heyyy how kinda fitting would it be to have him going around keeping tabs on 1-2 other V/ees bc they’re sick (local freak who monitors fucking Everything anyways), trying to make sure they don’t do anything stupid like make themselves sicker or infect their whole staff or embarrass themselves too much, trying to convince them to rest/eat/take meds, making sure they’re on a good path for getting better and are kept happy enough, etc.”
Also smth smth drawing tutorial video, when V/al says he won’t eat V/ox is IMMEDIATELY like “V/al, come on, you have to. You didn’t have breakfast” and is concerned, and ever since that video dropped I am taking this as confirmation that if one of the other V/ees were sick and didn’t have much appetite/wanted to just sleep the whole time rather than eating, he would be worried and try to get them to eat. 🥰
In general that video also really gave me the vibe of like when things are chill and domestic (and not immensely horny), stat/ic/moth’s dynamic is fr just like easily distractible, clingy babygirl who will pick a fight over anything bf and “you’re an idiot but you’re MY idiot 😒💞” bf who’s a lot more locked in but still a dork. And I think that translates extremely well over into V/al being whiny and clingy and dramatic when sick and V/ox having to take care of him and give him a lot of attention and being kinda “🙄 ugh you’re being so dramatic it’s just a cold it’s not gonna kill you” about it even though he IS kind of worried about him and wants to keep an eye on him
Ofc the reverse is also really cute because, despite the commitment issues, they love each other 🥺 and there’s something really sweet about the image of V/al being a better caretaker than one might expect
There’s something about the major difference in height that makes V/al taking care of V/el or vice versa extra cute to me 🥺 just like,,, tiny bestie being carried or cuddled by tall-as-all-fuck bestie, or tiny bestie trying to manage as-whiny-as-he-is-tall bestie :3
V/el/vet/te, self-proclaimed “backbone of the V/ees” (and my god does she pick up that title in s2) taking care of 1-2 idiots she unfortunately loves. Bonus points if one of those two got the other sick. She was smart enough to keep her distance from them, but for those two either a) V/al is So Bad at common sense for contagion and touches fucking everything without washing his hands b) V/al was extra clingy w V/ox when EITHER one of them were sick and welp sure enough now they’re BOTH sick c) V/ox was stubbornly in denial about being sick and thus was not being careful w contagion at all d) if V/ox’s in a more uhhh obsessive or self-centered state then he just didn’t fucking consider anyone else’s wellbeing. 💀 But she takes none of their bullshit fr when caretaking
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Some Ha/z/bin V/ees snz/illness ideas (coldfucker bias is obvious here lmao), this got kinda long so under the cut we go!
Val:
Val wrapping his wings around himself, one of the other Vees, or both of the others for like 🥺🥺🥺 warmth and affection when sick
Alsooo, local moth demon’s fluffy wings could tickle a bit, shame if that were to make anyone snz ofc,,, maybe especially a shame if that were to happen while cuddling to his partner who’s sorta kinda covered in vents and even gills if we like the gills take. God fucking forbid Val’s wings ever shed or molt or anyth,,,
Val is SO annoyed if his nose or throat is ever sensitive enough to disagree with his smoke
Pushing his glasses up to rub at his eyes :3
This is kinda silly, but when Val holds thermometers he tends to hold them kind of like a cigarette lol? Especially when taking one out of his mouth. Maybe one time he’s a little loopy from fever and kind of just muscle memory treats the thermometer like a cigarette for a few seconds, just like holding it in his hand longer than need be and even putting it back in his mouth—which is completely unnecessary bc they already finished taking his temp—and then realizes what he’s actually holding
During shoots, he tries (and usually fails) to keep sneezing and coughing quiet enough to avoid disrupting takes. Refuses to consider it His Fault
Local moth could be a bit photic, maybe especially if he’s already extra sensitive for another reason. Shame he’s constantly around studio lights, flash photography, and his TV bf
Always draping himself over something when sick, whether it’s a chair, sofa, table, bed, his bestie who’s a fraction of his height, or his partner
Of their unholy trinity, he’s the most willing to stop working/cancel work when sick. He can still be stubborn sometimes, but he also loves lounging around getting attention and pampering from the others. Vox is busy? Not anymore, Val demands his princess treatment or he will start causing problems
Velvette:
Her brewing up some form of cold remedy in her cauldron for herself or one of the other(s)
The scent or steam/smoke of something she’s brewing in her cauldron bothers her nose or sets off one of the other Vees
If one of the others is too cold when they’re out and about—usually Val, wearing Not Much—she’ll just magically change their outfit into something warmer or at LEAST add some warmer layers or a cute scarf to it. However, if she’s feeling a certain look and she’s cold in it, she Will commit to it until she gets bored of it and changes it on a whim
If she’s really not feeling well, like perhaps running a bad fever, her smaller stature compared to the other two lanky fuckers is… kind of actually really nice when cuddling, though she won’t admit it. Something very comforting about getting to just curl up in the embrace of someone(s) she feels close to and just be totally enveloped by gentle affection and warmth. 🥰 Like awwwh the image of her really out of it from fever and muffling coughs into the chest/wing/coat of Val or Vox as she dozes off into an uneasy slumber in his arms on the couch while the other watches with a worried pout and they quietly discuss the state she’s in and concerns while trying not to wake her
The other Vees have learned not to say “you look like shit” or anything similar bc her looks are so important to her and her career, so she tends to respond Very Hostilely to that sort of comment and feel even more insecure and frustrated with whatever’s causing her not to look her best (illness, allergies, emotions, etc.)
Can and will just magically levitate another Vee to drag them away to rest when they’re being stubborn or if they’re actually in too bad a shape to walk easily
🥰🥰🥰 Velvette trying to get through a livestream while hiding illness/allergies. It’s live and to a big audience, so,,, better keep it together well
Vox:
Things like dandelion or cottonwood fluff getting stuck in Vox’s vents and whether or not we’re going w any allergy hcs for him it Does Not Mix Well
Guys I. I feel like we should probably do SOMETHING about Vox’s s2 finale demon form being modeled after a bacteriophage. Like that CANONICALLY the person who designed it said that they went for a virus as a union of biology and technology for him bc both have viruses (and computer virus kinda tracks for some of his abilities). I actually don’t even really know What we should do with that but like. That’s a little wild. Ig could hc he’s just like Extra contagious when sick?? Or like. If sick with a tech virus, can get others sick with it as if it were a biological virus like a normal cold? Idek man just surely there’s Smth to be done with this
À la s1e2, if one of the other two is sick (or an allergic mess) and refusing to take the day off or at least take a break, the other Vee who’s in good health will often just send Vox to go deal with them, especially if it’s Val. He does a lot of more managerial things in the company and kinda in the trio even (guy who LOVES deciding what people should do and trying to convince them to do it) and hey local guy who’s constantly persuasion checking people, go persuasion check that stubborn bitch into resting pls thx. Plus, sometimes he’s stupid enough to simply put too much faith in the more technological structure of his body and/or his god complex to assume he can tooootally go deal with a sick Vee without catching what they have, he’ll be fiiiiiiine like he’s obviously stronger than—ah, fuck, he most definitely caught it.
He would rather die a second time than admit it, but when he runs a fever oooh boy does that poorly-veiled insecurity and need for approval that’s always waxing and waning under the surface just start roiling like a tempestuous sea. ‘Cause 1) the fever makes him a little more emotionally vulnerable and unsteady and 2) he hates feeling vulnerable and weak. Alastor made that pre-existing problem MUCH worse than it already was (that one comic/meme format of the “never again” squishy blob with walls up fr).
Continuing the above, sometimes, he ends up fishing for approval from the other two Vees. And he is not as subtle with it as he thinks, nor does he realize how much he’s clearly seeking reassurance and confirmation of relationships. Like he might flirt with Val a little more bc Val only wants him for sex and the like, right? (Wrong.) So, if he’s gross and pathetic right now and Undesirable then… would Val not… want him anymore? Or at least not want him right now? Val having the kink or smth adjacent/overlapping enough to be into him being sick might actually reduce some of that buried anxiety because He Wants Him Right Now
He feels the need to restate how useful he is and how he’ll be fine he’s fine now actually he can be useful now and thus worth keeping around. And the usual ups-and-downs and mutual annoyances between Vees hit him a lot harder in too feverish a state and he’s BAD AT HIDING IT BUT TRIES TO and he’s so frustrated with himself FOR being upset but fuck he just needs to feel like his friends/found family/loved ones are Not Going To Change Their Mind On Him Like Al Did Or Leave Him. And he needs people to Like Him and think he’s Capable/Strong and ooough if he’s feeling Weak and Not Useful then oooh no
Gills getting kind of sore when he’s sick, especially if he has a bad cough. Fever only exacerbates the soreness/makes them more sensitive
Val sometimes intentionally or unintentionally exhaling smoke from one of his cigarettes directly into Vox’s vents or gills, and it immediately making him cough and/or snz
SHOK.WAV worries about him if he sees him sick 🥺 just like nuzzling up to the glass looking so sad. Sometimes Vox will sit next to/back against the glass if he’s really not doing well—comforting to be near his bwabey. SHOK is extra extra soggy about seeing him unwell post-s2 finale bc :( father was Very Very Injured And Almost Dead And Sad Oh No
“We cannot allow ourselves to look weak in front of other overlords.” Sooo, I’m thinking he either sends another Vee to overlord meetings when he’s sick or decides he can just keep up appearances well enough aaand nope he fails terribly, smth smth hubris the folly of man (hubris bell tolls, if you will /ref)
After the door closed behind Shane, Ilya dropped his seductive posture and laid back against the pillows. He'd been able to forget about his cold when he was with Shane, but now it was coming back to him -- how run down he felt, the cottony feeling in his head, the throbbing at his temples signaling an oncoming headache that hopefully wouldn't become a migraine, and, of course, how full and swollen his sinuses were. He pinched the bridge of his nose, slowly rubbing up and down the bony ridge. The slow massage broke the seal of his congestion and it started to leak slowly from his no doubt pinkened nostrils. Fuck, that tickled. He dragged the side of his index finger roughly against the base of his nose and his philtrum, wiping it off on the pillow behind his head. It would feel so good to get some of this shit out of his head...
Ilya grabbed a fold from the puddle of bedsheet at his side, bringing it to his nose. He took a deep inhale through his mouth in preparation, chest swelling, and blew, shoulders hunching and abs tensing with effort. He winced slightly at the volume and honking sound of it. The vibration of blowing had spread throughout his sinuses, generating a familiar buzzing tingle that meant he was going to sneeze soon. His face began to crumple; brows knitting together, eyes fluttering shut, nostrils flaring wide, lips parting.
"hhh... ahhh..." he hitched, willing his shitty sinuses to get on with it already. "hh'ahh? ...ahhHH!"
“–AHHZZSCHHhhooo!"
Fucking finally. And, of course, he never stopped at just one.
"hhh-RISSHHHhhue! hy'EISSSSHhhiew!"
llya crunched forward with each uncovered sneeze, the force of them lifting his head and shoulders from the pillow and spraying all over himself. His lips started to shape a fervent “Blyad” but he interrupted himself with another sneeze. “hhh’IDGTXCHhhuh!” He cringed internally, feeling a thick splatter hit his thighs, even as he started building up to another. “hhh… hih-ihh, ihhh, ihhHH–” It seemed to toy with him as he tilted his head back, keeping him on the brink for what felt like an eternity before an even wetter and messier “hhhDDZZ’JSSSSHH’Hhue!” sprayed out of him. The snot cascaded from his nose, running down his philtrum and chin, and he grimaced.
He took a dry spot of sheet and wiped his face, but the touch of the sheet was too much for the state his nose was in. “ehhggshooh–igch’CHOO–igh’IIISHHhew!” The sneezes themselves were smaller, but the way they tumbled out over each other felt just as exhausting.
His nose still itched deep inside, telling him that he wasn’t done yet.
“hhhuh-ahh?” Ilya breathed, trying to ignite the itch into a sneeze. “hh, hhh, hHh…” Almost. He rubbed the tip of his nose as he hitched some more, sliding his fingers up the crooked line of his nose until he reached the slight bump leftover from the third break. Was he desperate enough for that? …Fuck it.
Ilya tweaked that spot until–“ISSCHHuue! EEIIISHHHheeew! hhhESSHhhhoooh! ETSCHschhhooo! heh…hehd’ZZZZIIISSSHH’schheewwww!”
The sneezes barrelled out of him, loud and intense. He dabbed carefully at his leaking face afterward, trying to apply enough pressure to circumvent any tickles, and swallowed to check his throat. It felt raw, but at least it seemed like he was done sneezing. For now.
I/lya is definitely the type to try and fail to talk though a sneezing fit (I just love sneeze interrupted talking and literally having little itchy sneezes between words and half words)
Which one of y'all told someone snz stood for south New Zealand?? Just found out there's something called RSNZ while reading a paper.... Royal society of New Zealand. Jump-scared myself seeing that on my computer.
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I like don't know what to do with myself rn. Finished what I needed to do in lab but don't have class to study for so do I just like. Leave for the day?
Okay sort of related but my class did quite poorly on one of our exams and my professor who also happens to be one of the directors of my program (and therefore I see him a lot) is very disappointed in us and his disappointment is exacerbating some of my preexisting self esteem/daddy issues rip
Okay sort of related but my class did quite poorly on one of our exams and my professor who also happens to be one of the directors of my program (and therefore I see him a lot) is very disappointed in us and his disappointment is exacerbating some of my preexisting self esteem/daddy issues rip
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I just imagine Ilya as so expressive when he’s sneezy.
Like he has the ITCHIEST pre-sneeze face. Mouth gaping open, brows knitting upward, pure desperation in his eyes as he hitches towards release from the absurdly strong tickle in his nose. There is no doubt to anyone that sees him building up to a fit — that boy needs to sneeze.
Also imagining him with such a look of relief on his face after a big nose blow. Ahhh, much better. His whole body relaxes and he sighs hugely and happily from feeling less stuffy. Kink!Shane is driven absolutely wild by how sexy Ilya looks when he smiles after a satisfying fit or blow rids him of an itch.
Thinking about a character with little to no sense of smell, but a very sensitive nose.
Following their friend into the abrasively fragrant candle and incense shop, no strong opinion on the wares but holy shit their nose just won’t stop itching-!
Walking into a busy kitchen teeming with the aroma of heavily spiced foods, uncertain about what exactly is cooking but they keep- hh!.. k-keep sneeEH-HH-!
Sitting downwind of a campfire, unaware of the woodsy scent seeping into their hair and clothes, but sneezing on and off for the rest of the night because of it.
Standing in a cloud of heavy, cloying perfume in the cosmetics section of a department store — nostrils flaring and eyes watering from irritation with no idea of which product could be the cause.
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shane comes home to find ilya curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. he's rubbing his nose against the blanket and shane can see it burn a deeper red as he does so. "sweetheart," shane starts, and can see ilya jump a little at the sound of his voice. "why don't you use a tissue? your nose is gonna be so sore from rubbing it on the blanket." he says, ruffling ilya's hair. "none left" ilya sniffs and glances towards the empty box on the coffee table. "baby," shane uses another pet name, which isn't something he does nearly as much as ilya, unless he knows ilya needs it, and when ilya's feeling under the weather, he needs to be babied, he lets shane baby him now. "you really think i wouldn't have stocked up? with your nose? even when you're not sick, your nose is always giving you trouble." shane chuckled and walked over to the hall closet and retrieved a fresh box of ultra-soft tissues. "you even got the good ones" ilya smiled up at shane as he was handed the box, which he immediately tore open, dying to blow his nose. "of course" shane hummed as he straddled ilya's lap, "i know exactly what you, and your nose needs." shane took the tissue out of ilya's hand him and folded it over his boyfriend's twitching, leaky nose. "blow for me, baby" he said softly and pressed down on one of ilya's nostrils. ilya obliged and emptied his nose into the tissue, instantly drenching it, shane felt the moisture seep through onto his hand slightly. "good, you're doing so good for me, ilya" shane cooed. he crumbled up the soiled tissue, shoved it in his pocket to throw away later, and plucked a fresh one from the box on the couch next to ilya. he once again folded it over ilya's nose and pressed down on the opposite nostril. "blow again for me please?" the words melted off his lips like honey. ilya didn't wait a beat and did wear shane told him to. his nose honked loudly this time and his cheeks blushed, slightly embarrassed by the noise. "that's it, my ilya." shane praised and gave ilya a gentle kiss on the forehead.
I'm probably gonna do 4 parts, but not entirely sure. My lizard brain has been cooking more than my coherent brain can handle editing-wise lol but I will try to embrace the chaos because it's been a while since I had so much writing mojo.
Shane approached the table where Hayden and a few others were drunkenly attempting to wrangle JJ away from a half empty drink that did not appear to belong to him.
“Hey man, I’m beat, I think I’m gonna call it a night.”
Shane murmured to his friend, moving the drink off of the table and onto the bar, successfully solving the booze-addled bunch’s dilemma.
“Uh, alright, I’m off…”
Shane didn’t hear Hayden’s response, he was already on his way back outside to the idiot that was probably freezing his feverish ass off. He stalked across the street to find Ilya staring into space, his nose dripping visibly onto his upper lip. No way was Shane letting this gorgeous, helpless man suffer all by himself. Not when he clearly couldn't take care of himself.
“You’re coming home with me.”
Ilya scoffed, but Shane continued to speak.
“I’ll bring you back to your hotel early tomorrow. Maybe by then you’ll remember your fucking room number.”
The Russian man didn’t have an argument for that. Shane hummed and jerked his head toward where he’d parked his car, grateful that he’d driven from the rink to the bar. He’d expected to play sober cab for his teammates, but they could get real cabs tonight. He ushered Ilya, who was fully shivering, into his car and then climbed into the driver’s seat. He watched the other player lean himself up against the door with a full-body shudder and a soupy sniffle. He seemed uncomfortable. Like beyond being miserably sick.
“Is everything okay?”
“Da, Holladder, I feel f-hihhHHHH-fide’rRSTSCHHH! Jusd sdeezy…”
Arousal and frustration swelled in Shane’s chest at the appallingly sexy statement his fuck-buddy uttered. What the fuck, did Ilya somehow find out about his kink? Was this all some big ploy to humiliate him? Why else would he use that word?? His cheeks burned.
“You know what I meant, Rozanov! I’m asking if everything is okay outside of the plague you’re actively spraying all over my car!”
The heat that had pooled in Shane’s chest climbed up his trachea and poured from his mouth, hot fury lacing his scathing retort.
Ilya’s mouth, poised for a snarky reply, snapped shut. He averted his gaze, eyes trained out the window instead of focusing on Shane. Damn, was he too harsh? Or maybe the other player was just tired. He needed to get him into bed, so he started driving.
After a few minutes he heard soft, hitching breaths from his passenger seat that made his stomach flip. Ilya had to sneeze. He waited for the inevitable release, thighs clenching and ears straining while he glanced between the road and his sneezy passenger. Ilya stuttered into his hands with a strangled sneeze. Then another. It seemed he was cruelly trying to contain the sound, so Shane didn’t comment on it. The hitches didn’t stop, and Ilya’s crushed, painful sneezing only got more violent. Shane was fully erect at this point, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“AEDTSZCHhhoo!!”
A final, forceful sneeze sent a geyser of spray splattering onto the window, which made them both wince.
“Bless you…” Shane finally said, but Ilya didn’t respond. The Canadian huffed, some of the previous frustration rekindling in his chest, warm and prickly.
“You’re welcome, man.”
The least Ilya could do was thank him for blessing the sneezes he’d just suffered through.
After 10 more minutes of aroused and slightly pissed driving, they pulled up to Shane’s apartment. His face burned a dark shade of pink and he cleared his throat.
“C’mon, Rozanov, we’re here.”
He heard a deep sniffle. At least he was awake.
“Mmb, where-? Oh yes, is ndightmbare.”
Relief loosened Shane’s tight chest slightly and he seized the opportunity to slip into familiar banter.
“Fuck off and get out of the car.”
The well-trodden back-and-forth was able to put them both at ease as they clambered out of the Jeep and into the apartment.
Shane stepped between Rozanov and the couch he was making a beeline for,
“Sleep in my bed, it’ll be more comfortable.”
Ilya eyed him, trying to step around him.
“Holladder, I will ndot germb your bed. Couch is fide.”
“No offense, but sheets are a lot easier to wash than couch cushions…”
Ilya’s expression contorted into something between amused, guilty, and stricken before he schooled it into his usual confident smirk, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Shane expected some sort of innuendo or invitation to join him in bed, but neither was offered. He probably would have taken the other player up on an invite to sleep in the bed with him. After all, his bed was a lot more comfortable than the damn couch.
He placed a hand on the Russian’s back when he saw him swaying. Ilya was taking too long to get moving, so Shane gave him a soft push in the direction of the bedroom.
“Let’s get you settled. Have you taken any meds?”
The sluggish shrug probably meant no… Ilya seemed to be half-asleep on his feet, though, so Shane couldn’t be sure how much he understood as he walked with him to the bed.
“Heh, you got rid of pillows.”
Ilya’s bright eyes scanned the bed before he sat down on the edge of it and toed off his shoes.
Shane snorted a laugh, he was at least lucid enough to make jokes then, which was a good sign.
“Fuck you, Rozanov.”
He left Ilya to get into bed on his own and shifted gears to retrieve a thermometer and medicine. He always made sure his medicine cabinet was well-stocked just in case he managed to come down with something before a game, and he kept his duffel stocked as well. It was almost a superstition of his that as long as he had meds on hand he wouldn’t need them, and thus far his little habit hadn’t failed him. He’d even been able to save himself a lot of awkwardness by having stuff for his teammates to take to mitigate their symptoms when they were on the road for a game. His intense aversion to seeing his teammates, men that were becoming like brothers to him, sneezing was apparently normal from what he’d read online about his “interests.” So he became the “team mom,” doling out medicine and tissues whenever someone was even a little sniffly, just so he could avoid the feelings of disgust, or sometimes, horrifyingly, arousal, that formed in the pit of his stomach whenever someone around him sneezed.
Shane adjusted his uncomfortably tight pants, grabbed the thermometer and a box of nighttime cold medicine, and returned to the bedroom in time to see Ilya bury his nose into a handful of tissues and give the world’s quietest blow. Maybe his sinuses were sore or something.
“Put this under your tongue.”
Ilya startled, bleary eyes focusing on Shane after a moment. He obeyed, though he had to keep the corner of his mouth open in order to breathe. He looked so pathetic like this, flushed cheeks, sweaty hair, and a glowing, damp, swollen nose. Shane had never wanted the man more.
He pulled the thermometer out of Ilya’s mouth and read the number.
“38.8. Here, let me get you some water to take this with.”
Shane set the box of medicine on Ilya’s lap and turned to leave, but was surprised by a warm hand grasping his wrist and pulling him back.
“Uh…”
“Jusd stay?”
“B-but, you need to take the medicine-”
“I dond’t ndeed it… Just wandt you…”
Shane chewed his lip, his libido was at war with his common sense, but one look into Ilya’s eyes had him shucking off his shoes. He tried to pull away, but the hand on his wrist tightened.
“I gotta change my clothes, I’ll be right back.”
He muttered, and luckily the sick man let go of him. He changed into a pair of sweats and crawled into bed, watching Ilya do the same.
Interestingly, the Russian didn’t seem to want to cuddle. Shane was out of his element enough that he’d usually rely on Ilya to initiate, but the other man stayed on his side of the bed.
“Uh, goodnight. You can wake me up if you need anything, alright?”
He got a stuffed-up sounding snore in response, and smiled to himself. Maybe he could convince Rozanov to fuck him in the morning if he was feeling well enough…