Captain's Log

Having a blorbo is SO wonderful bc you get free joy for thinking about them being happy but also free joy for thinking about them being miserable. No losing

Official joy and whimsy post

no dude it's so cool how attached you are to that character who is singled out and ostracized due to the external monstrousness that clashes with their internal spark of humanity. and i love how drawn you are to themes of horror and love, nature versus nurture, otherness, isolation, and the abject. i bet you have normal feelings about your own personhood

i'm like if one of those doomed horses that just needs a fucked up girl to be obsessed with them was a human being. someone bring me some fucking sugar cubes

I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.

Girlfriend won't stop point-and-clickmaxxing. Saying shit like "keys! I can use these!" And walking up to doors and announcing "it's locked." without touching the knob

me trying to remember what newfoundlands are called earlier: big dog he's an island

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

Hey you, yeah, you, give that character a mobility aid. Do it. That girl who canonically has a leg injury? Give her a cane. That guy that doesn't have a canonical injury but whom you feel ok your heart is definitely chronically ill? Give him a wheelchair. That character you headcanon as disabled because they just kinda feel like it in your head? Give them crutches! That character you really really like and really really relate too? Give em a rollator! Sky's the limit! Go wild! People are gonna have problems with us creating a space for ourselves regardless, might as well bring a few of our favorite characters and OCs with us!

"oh? this gun hanging on the wall?", she chuckled narratively.

why did this post get 2000 notes overnight. bad feeling about my wall

gun's gone.

She chuckled narratively and plotted down the stairs.

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.

Big fan of angels being autistic btw. "How does an entity like that have a neurological condition" Well they can act like that. Angels having traits that read as autistic. Incomprehensible being trying for their best mimicry of human behavior. You understand

First day on earth pretending to be a Normal Human. Eye contact is weird when you only have two of them. Trying out physical sensations. Touching things with different textures. Picked a leaf off a bush and ate it. People are looking at me weird. Sorry. Say something normal. Do you know when the bus gets here

Second day as a Normal Human. Not used to standing still because I'm usually a four dimensional shape turning within itself. I understand the bus schedule now. Blessed someone's baby today. Trying out smells and tastes. Went to a bakery. People are looking at me again. Loudly announced I love bread

Third day as a Normal Human. I thought I understood the bus schedule but it's not here. Got in an argument with a street preacher. The bus is here. Went to a coffee shop. Really enjoying smells and tastes. Blessed someone's dog. I think I'm doing a good job

God bless the sickos over at the AO3 for providing the absolute most conceptually bizarre yet extremely compelling fiction for free.