Friends Call Me Franki Or They Would If I Had Any

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

Item: Big Wizard Hat

@imaginationshow care to, ah, toss your hat into the ring? ;)

Holy shit yeah that’s a hat

enemies-to-lovers is unrealistic. if someone insulted my entire family bloodline, i’d just hold a grudge forever.

yeah “i can teach you” is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. it’s also hot. right

Brunette personality disorder

I think one of the greatest realizations I ever made was that I didn't have to choose between masculinity and femininity

The sooner you realise that you can do literally whatever you want as regards to your gender presentation (or lack thereof) and just take whatever bits and pieces you like from wherever, the sooner you can start enjoying life.

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

as a kid I never appreciated the comedic genius of my elementary school principal, who, whenever our school won against another school in a sport, would play what felt like 2 minutes of “we are the champions” over the PA during announcements, and just as it’s going “cuz we are the champions…of” he’d hit stop and his deadpan voice over the PA system would go “Brampton.”

We had a middle school dance dj who would do something similar with party in the USA. He’d play the chorus like “yeah yeah yeah it’s a party in the..” and then stop the music and just say “school”

this is so fucking funny

I have never wanted a bubble gun more in my life then right now

Imagine people messing around with bubble wands and stuff, AND THEN SOMEONE PULLS OUT THE MINIGUN OF SOAPY ORBS

damn. damn!!

Woah

the way theyre banning #girl but people have urls like penisandballgobbler4200 

what’s wrong with my url

‘ur quiet’ i am gatekeeping my personality from u