captain roach!

Connor Smoke rising from the end of the joint, he watched it fade in the air above them, a hesitant glance sent to Wren before he took another long drag. It didn’t feel weird hanging out with her, but he could tell for a while that the atmosphere had been different between them, and he wasn’t sure why. Was it something he did? Clearing his throat, he blew out the smoke, biting his lower lip in thought before leaning his head back against the wall. “I broke up with Izzy,” He broke the silence, examining the blunt in his hand rather than looking at Wren.

Wren Upon hearing Connor, Wren’s eyebrows raised and she turned her head to look at him. However, when she saw that he wasn’t looking back, she looked up at the ceiling and took a drag of her own joint. “Oh,” she murmured, feeling weight lift off of her shoulders. She didn’t know why she felt relief, but she did; Izzy was nice, sure, but something about her and Connor got on Wren’s nerves. “Good.” Smirk settling on her lips, she nudged him with her toe. “Were you missing me too much?”

Connor Connor tried for a smile, but felt annoyance at her reply, his expression ultimately turning out to be a grimace. “Don’t be a dick,” He shook his head, taking another long drag before closing his eyes.

Wren Wren’s grin settled into a frown; she had only been kidding. “God, pull the stick out your ass,” she breathed, irrationally irritated. Still, it sucked to break up with someone. “Nah, I’m sorry. That sucks. Did she do something, or…?”

Connor “Nah, I just…” He finally glanced over towards his friend, shrugging his shoulders. “Wasn’t feelin’ it, y'know? Like, she’s cool and all, but… I don’t think we, like, clicked or whatever.”

Wren “Yeah,” Wren said, nodding along. Though she felt somewhat bad for him, she was almost… happy? God, that sounded awful. “Anyway, she was like, a B cup.” Poking him with her foot again, she smiled a little, hoping to cheer him up.

Connor “Shut up,” He said with a faint snort, taking one more hit before throwing it in the ashtray and moving to lie down, feeling an oncoming headache begin to settle in. He felt like he needed a drink, but he knew that would only make things worse. “Let’s talk about something else.”

Wren Wren couldn’t pin point the feeling, but if she were to give it a name, it would be desperation. She felt like something was off between her and Connor, something she couldn’t identify, and all she wanted was for things to feel completely normal again. “Okay,” she said, voice soft. “Wait– I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but… are we still off?”

Connor He turned over to face her, letting out a sigh as his eyes scanned over her features. “I thought that was up to you,” He murmured, raising a brow. “I mean, I don’t think I did anything… But you’ve been sorta weird towards me. Especially the past couple of months,” He sighed. “Like, I think it started around Dawn’s weekend thing… I was like, ‘Is she mad at me? Is this because of Izzy?’ And then I thought that was probably ridiculous because I don’t know why you’d be mad at me, or what this had to do with her…” He trailed off slightly, looking back at the ceiling.

Wren Feeling her jaw clench, Wren paused for a silent moment before reaching over and crushing her joint in the ashtray. “I don’t know,” she breathed, feeling her shoulders go loose as she slumped forwards. “I thought it was up to you. I mean, you’re the one who suggested we stop fucking around. And yeah, I’ve been kind of irritated with you. ‘Cause, like, did you even consider my feelings when you did that?”

Connor An expression of confusion and hurt crossed his features before he could stop it from happening, one hand moving up to rub his temple in strained thought. “Well, yeah, of course I did. I didn’t think it would matter that much to you considering we weren’t even in a relationship.”

Wren Eyes beginning to sting, her muscles clenched and she looked over at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Yeah, well, it was still something I enjoyed, and like, you just took it away. Like, I haven’t gotten regularly laid in months, Connor.” She pursed her lips, only halfway sure why she felt like she was about to cry.

Connor “Why didn’t you just say something?” He frowned, moving to sit up. “If I knew you were gonna be this upset about it, I might… I might’ve…” He stumbled over his words slightly, not really knowing what to say. He wasn’t sure why it was so difficult for him to admit.

Wren “Might’ve what, Connor? Cancelled any future dates with Izzy for a fuck? That’s stupid.” She scoffed, her emotions unbalanced and shaky.

Connor “What’s your problem?” He asked, finally looking at her. “Are you in love with me or something? Is that it?” The accusation burned his throat as it left his lips, like he was projecting what he was feeling onto her. Which would be ridiculous, he didn’t actually like Wren… Right?

Wren Wren’s heart launched into her throat and her mind felt fuzzy. “What the fuck? You’re such a self-centered asshole, Connor. I like your dick, not you.” The words escaped her before she could stop them, and even if she knew it was a lie, she didn’t take it back.

Connor The words were worse than a punch to the gut. They were worse than a hundred punches to the gut and a knife wound. It hurt even more because he wasn’t even sure why it hurt so bad, a humorless laugh accompanying the hurt and confusion weighing him down. “I’m gonna go,” He said quietly, trying to cover the shakiness in his voice as he moved to stand.

Wren “Wait!” Everything Wren said seemed to be on impulse, it was like she wasn’t even thinking. Reaching out, she grabbed his wrist. “I didn’t mean that. I really didn’t.”

Connor Pulling his arm from her grip, he wiped his eyes quickly, hoping Wren wouldn’t catch sight of the action. “You can’t just say shit like that, Wren!” This was probably the first time he’d ever yelled at her. “You wanna be pissed at me for months because I don’t consider your feelings when I didn’t even think there were any involved? And then, just… Just pretend it doesn’t matter the other way around?” His eyes stung with unshed tears and he finally looked away from her, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Wren Connor yelling at her was something she never wanted to experience again. Mascara-stained tears finally broke free, and she pushed her hair back, feeling entirely overwhelmed. “Well, sorry! You accused me of being in love with you! Don’t you think that’s a little fucking arrogant? Sorry that I miss my best friend, Jesus!”

Connor Seeing Wren cry was something that hurt even worse than her jab from earlier. He wanted to say everything was fine, that it would all be okay and things could quickly go back to normal, but it just wasn’t realistic. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just… I was tired of you being pissed at me for hanging out with someone else, y'know?” He looked down at the floor, shrugging hesitantly. “I mean, you’re my best friend, too, but… I didn’t think it was gonna hurt you so bad.”

Wren Wren’s teary eyes moved to stare at the carpeted floor. “Me neither.” She sat in silence for a few moments, studying the nylon of the carpet and picking at her fingernail polish. “I just missed you a lot, and… I don’t know. It sounds stupid.”

Connor Hesitantly, he moved to sit down next to her, taking a few moments before he was looking over towards her face. “I missed you, too,” He murmured, looking down. It was probably why he’d broken up with Izzy, too– though he wouldn’t admit that. Clearly he wasn’t much more than a friend with benefits to Wren; even if she said she didn’t mean it, the jab from earlier was still sinking in.

Wren Sniffling, Wren felt nervousness curl up inside of her as she struggled to find the words she was looking for. “I guess… I don’t know. I guess I was just… jealous?” She leaned back and rubbed her hands down her face. “God, that sounds so stupid and clingy.”

Connor “No, it doesn’t,” He looked down, biting his lower lip in thought. “But, I mean… Jealous of what? We’re still friends.”

Wren “Yeah, but…” She trailed off, chipping the blue nail polish off of her pinkie finger. “I don’t fucking know, Connor. I don’t know. But, like, when you’d sit with Izzy instead of me and she’d be all over you or something I’d just feel like, jealous! I don’t know!” She felt almost nauseated as the words left her; sharing her feelings wasn’t something Wren was too keen on, especially when they could potentially make things end very badly.

Connor Looking over towards her hesitantly, he couldn’t help but let a small smile worm its way onto his features, brown eyes meeting hers. “You don’t have to be jealous anymore,” He mumbled, eyes glancing down to her lips before they met her eyes again. And again, he was all hers.

Wren Wren was beyond appreciative that he didn’t ask her to further explain, and she nodded, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear. She probably looked like shit, but Connor didn’t seem to care. “Cool,” she breathed, calming down. Silence washed over them, and after a split second of hesitation, she leaned forwards and pressed her lips against his.

Connor Moving a hand to her cheek, he immediately deepened the kiss, wanting back what he hadn’t felt for months. Sure, Izzy was great and all, but there was something missing– she wasn’t Wren. He was never completely at ease until he was around Wren. The kiss felt almost strange to him, a foreign feeling almost intruding on what he was used to. Something more than just the passion or lust he was used to. It scared him and made him want it more all at once.

Wren Wren’s tired eyes felt relief as they finally fluttered shut, and as her lips pressed against his and the barely-there stubble on his chin tickled her jaw, she felt her worries melt away. Senses heightened, she could practically hear blood rushing through her ears and feel her heart pounding in her chest. It had been months since she had gotten this– at least from someone who mattered– and she couldn’t get enough of Connor; not just his lips against hers but his scent and his messy hair and his stupid lopsided grin, and god, she had missed him. Her body slid closer to his and her arms wound their way around the back of his neck and she felt like she couldn’t get enough; however, she pulled away for the briefest of moments, cheeks flushed and breathing heavy but still only inches from him. “You’re mine, right?”