Curiosity killed this cat.

Source

basically everything in this poster

(via a-ramblinrose)

They’re a good boy. (via imgur)

You have been visited by the Chan of wealth, reblog this and you will have money come to you!

Leverage OT3 for @do-what-the-knight-tells-you <3

‘Okay, so, today at work I asked a question that made my boss recoil, but apparently, once asked, he has to tell me the full story or ‘bad things will happen’. Which, as it would, immediately piqued my interest. I did the mash up last night, so I know that I left potatoes in the bin. I was last one out, and first one in this morning, and the potatoes are gone from that bin. Bit of a ‘huh?’ moment. And my boss … he starts telling me about how they always used to put out roses outside the restaurant when they opened. “What? Isn’t that expensive?” “I mean, yeah, but it’s just what you do when you open a restaurant” What the fuck kind of answer …? Anyways, the roses always used to disappear, so they had to replace them everyday, (This skinflint spending that much cash?!). One outside the front door, in that little metal thing that I had forgotten exists.  It’s above to the right of the front door, a small circle made by 8 vertical bands of metal, each in an ) shape. So, like, the cross-section is a )(. Apparently that’s a flower holder. And then outside of the back door, apparently the old wooden post there never held up anything, it was just a post with a vase on it. That he drove into the asphalt there. In the alleyway. “What? Why would you do something so pointless?” “Anyways,”, he brushed me off, “like I was saying, we used to put out the roses every night [[emphasis mine]] and they would always be gone by morning. City kids, right?” “Why did you keep doing this?!” “We had really good luck opening, I didn’t want to screw it up” At this point I feel I should stress that my boss is a straight-laced no nonsense, no superstition, don’t-do-needless-things, pennypincher without an ounce of spirituality in him. But throughout all of this he’s defending putting out roses at nighttime, like it’s the most obvious thing n the world. Just when I think he’s playing the longest, weirdest joke on me, he brings out the iPad, and he starts showing me security footage. It’s indistinct, it’s too dark, he’s trying to point out that the rose never changes from the beginning of the night to the end, but when it gets bright again, the flower is just gone, while the stem remains. It’s about this point that I realize: This is a faerie sacrifice. This is how you sacrifice things to goblins and faeries. These are rose faeries. Now you might not know, even if you live here, but Newfoundland has a tradition of rose faeries. We basically took all the stuff british colonists knew about faeries and said, ‘yeah, well, it’s all about wild roses now’. Hike up to Signal Hill from behind the geo centre and you’ll pass a faerie ring of rose bushes that someone planted because of that. (It’s not obvious at first). Later in Newfoundland history, we star replacing all of the rose faerie tales with tales about Mother Mary, (As in, Christianity), whose flower is the rose. Ask around the old folk, they’ll tell you tales about people getting sick or getting well really suddenly, followed by a strong smell of rose. About people working on church roofs, falling down into rose bushes, and not getting hurt. About statues of Mother Mary crying rose oil, indicating that an infant will be left in front of the statue soon. Those are all stories that are actually about rose faeries, but they changed the topic. I guess they still pay respect to them, they just think they’re paying respect to god with rose petals and rosehip tea. “But what’s this got to do with potatoes?” Well, he said, he kept this up for about 5 or 6 months, and then the winter started. And back then, the florists in town didn’t stock as much in green houses, there wasn’t enough call for it. So he wasn’t able to get roses. The restaurant had really bad luck for a while, but then one day, all of the potatoes in the restaurant went missing. Of all the things, not the tenderloin steak, not the fresh salmon, not the halibut, not the cherries, not the fresh baked bread, the potatoes. And the luck came back. And he hasn’t questioned it since. “So, about how many potatoes go missing every week?” “About 25lbs in little bits” We turned rose faeries into gluttonous potato faeries.

Terry Pratchett - Wyrd Sisters (via terrypratchettparadise)

Like this bitch had a goldmine of good lines

“It’s a mystery I’ll have to solve later. By myself. Because you’ll be dead.”

“Don’t let that ‘horrible person’ thing discourage you. It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”

”Remember, these exhibits ARE interactive. Like a children’s museum. So that means the pits of acid are filled with REAL acid. Like at a WELL FUNDED children’s museum.“

Terry Pratchett - Men At Arms (via terrypratchettparadise)

Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.

sad part is in Egyptian belief is  if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death 

The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?” 

I feel bad but this is so fucking hilarious

polygon laps

Courtesy of Sincerely Tumblr on Twitter