I'm not suprised but very disappointed

PROTESTERS IN DC ARE GOING MISSING

DC BLACKOUT ACCOUNT HAS BEEN TAKEN DOWN

SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS HAPPENING THERE, POLICE JAMMED THEIR PHONES

PLEASE SPREAD AWARENESS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO SHUT DOWN THE #DCBLACKOUT ON TWITTER. THIS IS HAPPENING. BE CAREFUL. PROTESTERS ARE MISSING AND GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO COVER IT UP

Warning: You may after reading this bleach your eyeballs and move to a remote forrest in Russia.

This fanfic is called:

“There is no God.”

So first off because Mrs Fartz has a taste for gross men, she naturally starts to fall for Dirty Kevin, even going as far as cheating on Mr Fartz and abandoning him and Jermy. Her and Dirty Kevin form a Bonny and Clyde-like relationship.

Dirty Kevin just wants to have someone to talk to so he goes along with it. One day, when him and Ms Fartz are out on a drug heist, they caught by the millers. The millers quickly fall for the wholesome couple and go into a poly relationship, even though they secretly only like Dirty Kevin.

Meanwhile, in antartica, Daniel is talking with Xemüg in his temple, which is now their home together. They are now married. It’s canon.

When suddenly Xemüg points out that he has sensed the most wholesome poly ship in the cc universe and says they should try and broaden their horizens. This ends up with them meeting The millers + DK and Ms Fartz. The gang are so scared by Xemüg that they agree to be in a relationship. But then quickly get Stockholm syndrome and actually fall in love with Xemüg and Daniel.

They are all out on a date one night when they stumble apon the Cute Waitress. She thinks Mrs Fartz is hot af and decides that she will join them on their travels. Sadly however, Daniel can’t stop thinking about David and Camp Campbell. The gang want to help him out so they agree to help him defeat David.

Jumpscare! Daniel appears at Camp Campbell. The Woodscouts are in the middle of a raid so Jermy spots his mum and the two exchange an emotional ’where have you been when I needed you the most’ moment. Strong feels. What you thought this fic was going to be purely romantic? Think again.

David admits he’s been in love with Daniel since the beginning and agrees that he loves all the others too. Gwen likes Xemüg cause he isn’t human, eventually falling for the others.

Finally weird Larry is in town and is Plot twist! Mr Fartz’s best friend. Mr Fartz explains how his wife cheating on him and Weird Larry agrees to go and beat up Ms Fartz and Dirty Kevin. Double plot twist! Ms Fartz loves Weird Larry cause they went to highschool together so Weird Larry betrays Mr Fartz.

The finale is Ered accepts she has many mums and dads and loves it. Dadvid is canon but Max decides he’s okay with it because he cares about David as his dad. Ered and Max become like siblings. Finally they all have a group wedding and Quartermaster misses Quartersister so he hooks up with them too!

The End.

"We know Mother's Day is un Hallmark holiday, but mein cards still make mein Mother happy-cry."

This moment of Dolph dialogue gave me a huge sigh of relief.

Ever since Parents Day, I presumed the worst about Dolph's Mom, because she didn't show up. I thought she might've died or something.