For You, From Me

I’m somehow both sides of this conversation.

4/20 praise it

all the love in my stupid little heart is for u

Can you die from eating too many vitamin gummies?

you are far lovelier and lovable than you make yourself out to be

to be honest, my ass deserves to be slapped 

Being a fire sign is just thinking whenever ur bored or sad that maybe u should start a bar fight or spend $500 on specialty glassware or burn every relationship u have or fuck off to a different country for a year

So I’ve been ruining my kids lives by saying “weird flex but ok” to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell me they’re running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it

So I executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn’t say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he’s walking down the street

Your son is named Egg.

Every part of this is hilarious

hearing someone you love laugh is? easily one of the best things on earth

*adjusts my titties* anyways…

So many men would be so much more tolerable if they’d just go to therapy already

I love her

Omg my nerves are too bad for this shit. Lol

Can’t tell you many times I caught my son at the playground. Trust fall on 💯. He just knew I’d always catch him, like it was part of the experience. “I jump” “Daddy catches me”.

“WHEEEEEE”

Brruuuhhhh 😂

Why is it that you always feel ur prettiest on the most accidental and insignificant days? It’s never on the day of ur birthday, or graduation, or some big party. It’s always a random Sunday or a Tuesday evening where u look at urself and think wow I look ? beautiful ? today. And then u go to bed or watch tv or do homework and the ‘good day’ is just wasted

depression meal: standing in the kitchen for 15 minutes debating if i have the energy to cook then leaving after eating raw bread