So you know the scene at the end of The Taming of The Shrew where they have that stupid competition to see whose wife is most obedient? Can you imagine if other Shakespeare characters were there?
Ophelia: You called, My Lord?
Hamlet: No I didn’t. Why are you here when nobody likes you? Go away!
Petruchio: Even I think that’s mean.
Romeo: Go find Juliet and ask her if she would come here and tell her she has the most beautiful eyes, that make the very sun seem dull, and the loveliest hair and a face that puts to shame Aphrodite herself...oh and bring her this sonnet I wrote her...and actually I’ll go find her myself for I can’t bear to be apart from her another moment!
Petruchio: … Yeah he’s not coming back. Next!
Coriolanus: Go find my wife and ask her to come here and also ask her if she's seen Aufidius. Actually, have you seen Aufidius...or heard any news of him?
Servant: No I haven't… Is there a name or a description I could use to find your wife?
Coriolanus: Hold on. I know this one.
Petruchio: Wow... We’ll come back to you. Next!
Orlando: I refuse to participate in this farce. It’s demeaning to women.
“Ganymede”: Nonsense! Any real man (which I totally am) wants women to obey him without question!
Orlando: That’s wrong! That’s not being a “real man”; that’s just being a bully. I would never treat Rosalind that way and I hope no one else would either!
“Ganymede”: … You pass the test.
Beatrice from 3 rooms away: WHAT?
Benedick: CAN YOU COME HERE A SECOND?
Benedick: SOME MAN HERE WANTS TO SEE IF YOU’RE OBEDIENT.
Beatrice: WHY ARE YOU PERPETUATING THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN INSTEAD OF PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE?
Benedick: YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WANT TO COME HERE AND SHOW OFF YOUR OBEDIENCE? I AM SHOCKED AND HEARTBROKEN!
Beatrice: HA. HA. SO HILARIOUS.
Beatrice: … HE STILL DOESN’T SOUND VERY PUNCHED IN THE FACE. I SUGGEST YOU FIX THAT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOREVER!
Benedick *rolling up his sleeves*: Isn’t she great?
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