All that is gold does not glitter

cant tell if pretentious or just petty about their experience with fedex

you say that like they’re mutually exclusive 

people who draw on both sides of the sketchbook pages fear neither demons nor gods.

Idg why people are against busty women in turtlenecks, literally who cares if you have “uniboob”? To whom do you owe separate and defined titties? Only cowards and fools fear the breast monolith

do you ever just suddenly learn there’s apparently a whole Discourse you’ve never heard of before

working in the drive-thru

date someone who loves your belly

centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

Oh. This. I don’t like this.

sometimes I think about how some of the people who think that same-sex couples ruin the sanctity of marriage are the same people who enjoy watching the bachelor, a show where 1 person dates 25 strangers and picks one of them to propose to at the end of approximately 6 weeks

i sent the bee movie script over imessage to my friend who lives overseas but it didn’t send as an imessage and sent as 315 text messages instead and i’m gonna be charged for international texting for all of them

#karma is real and god always protects the good

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying

put it back and lets pretend this never existed

Don’t put it back, its an aggressive invasive species 

Christ

That’s a lot of nuggets right there

can u imagine going noodlin and this chomps down on you oh my god

what the hell