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cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

red fucking alert if you’re currently experiencing a beautiful spring day after a long and brutal winter DO NOT TRUST IT this is NOT spring it is FALSE SPRING we still have SEVERAL WEEKS OF COLD do NOT let your guard down

I lack perception of time so you could legit walk up to me and say "Hi" after 3 years and I'd be like "aww I missed you. we talked just last week :3"

People are too self-conscious these days we need to bring back those dances from the 60s where you just kinda wiggle

“Now, bear in mind,” *I pause, allowing time for you to visualize the bear*

THIS IS SOME 10PM ASS 5:30PM WE'RE HAVING!!!!!!

suddenly the fucking

they must've opened the fridge

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

I am of the general opinion that the pandemic really broke everyone in a variety of ways and everyone is going on acting like 5 years on they haven’t been irreparably changed

2026 will be the year of Reading The Whole Article Before You Talk About It Or Spread It Around Online. all of the kids will be doing it and it will be so hip and popular. feel free to get started sooner if you'd like.