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Noir voice I take things literally and I take things, literally

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Shout out to all the people who a fans of the LESS popular versions of a character.
Reblog with you favourite less popular blorbo
what if I said nicolas cage was the worst thing that happened to noir?
okay letβs break it down before everyone gets mad π
first of all, we literally lost the plotline about him being young and living in a post-ww1 New York and how he grapples with that, wanting to enroll into college and also wanting to make an impact at the same time
second of all, when the hell was he a private investigator, genuinely? wasnβt he supposed to study science or something? and even then, he never really worked as a PI until the 2025 comics (which lowkey suck btw) π
recently, theyβve been going with the cliches of a classic noir movie, which okay, sure, but you donβt have to do that. we are literally never getting a socialist noir bc these people just want more money
also about the new show i genuinely havenβt even gotten through the first episode despite having read most of his comics (all of his standalone comics)
i canβt get through him being old. it takes away from the charm of him brooo
and because they killed off this universeβs version of Mary Jane
guys WE DONβT NEED A FEMME FATALE. Okay, you kept felicia as a femme fatale BUT WHY ARE YOU STILL PAIRING HER WITH NOIR WHEN EVERYONE WAS JUST ACKNOWLEDGING SHE WAS GROOMING HIM ππ
okay ramble over
bring back the 2009 writers pls
what if I wrote a one-shot fanfic where 2009 Peter meets Ben Reilly and at first he really hates Reilly but eventually he breaks down because he's just reminded of Urich so much and Reilly doesn't know what to do because he's not good with feelings
Okay listen, I love the spiderverse movies, but after actually getting into some of the individual comics, they definitely made some personality changes there.
Like, they gave Spider Noir's personality to Miguel. The Miguel O'Hara of the comics is a blast. Genuinely, the guy of Spider-man 2099 (1992) is this half irish half mexican genius scientist with a big mouth going around roasting anybody on sight. His internal monologue is comedic genius, it made me chuckle. In and out of costume he gives Peter Parker a run for his money with the humour. Maybe it was the abusive father or the mommy issues, but the dude is hilarious.
He's a scientist, not a fighter. He's fit, but far from the muscle giant of the films. He can barely throw a punch. He says, and I quote, "The last time I was in a serious fight I was six years old... and I got clobbered". He gets out of situations by being smart and totally unhinged. His enemies can't predict his strategy if he does't have one to begin with!
He's in his 30's but everyone always calls him kid or boy. He deals with corrupt politicians all the time and fantasize about throwing them out of windows. He goes around with sunglasses always on because his spider powers make his eyes sensitive to light and he's always talking strange and muttering because he can't open his mouth too much without revealing his fangs.
Even if I find that later comics don't capture his sarcasm and personality like the original, they still portray a man who, even after a lot of traumatic experiences and losses, still mantain his stupid sense of humour and his attitude.
Now, Spider Noir in his comics is not so flippant. On the contrary, he's quite serious and grim, and he has his reasons. He's probably in his 20's at most, living in a pre-WW2 society with a very difficult social and political climate. The dude has seen the cannibalized body of his uncle and much more. He has humour, but it's much more dry and dark than the usual Peter Parker one.
Their approach to moral dilemmas like killing and their views on the laws of their respective societies may be the only things they vaguely share, which is very interesting given the time periods they come from.
I still very much like the Spiderverse movies, I just think that this swap has been done so Miguel could be seen by the viewers as a "morally grey" character and the one clearly in the wrong. His comic accurate personality didn't fit his role as "villain" of the story, so they changed it.

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Oh hey btw guess what I spotted in a collectibles shop
whatever. go my spider
After reading the Spider Noir comics (2009-2010), I comprehend why the Vulture hasn't showed up until "Across the Spiderverse". If any version of this villain had appeared in Noir's line of sight during the first film, something way deadlier than a car would've been directed at his head.
genuinely love how Noir's spider-sense looks in the comics.
-Spider-Man Noir (2008), Spider-Man Noir: Eyes Without A Face, Spider-Man Noir (2020)
its just so alien-like, which makes sense to how he was bitten, but still. i love it sm <3

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New AU just dropped
"Miles' powers manifest after his first week at Visions Academy. Coincidentally, he also sees a flyer for the school's support group for superpowered students. It can't hurt to try, right?"
It's called Superpower Support Group, that probably explains things.
Read maybe? Idk
Anyway Benj drawing to go along with it, have fun
https://archiveofourown.org/works/86191951
I do NOT like new spiderman, and this comes from a spiderman noir fan. I don't like the casting and that just doesn't give off spiderman noir comic vibes. I like that you can watch it both in color and black and white, but that's all.
I'm really tired of larpers and content creators pretending something is comic accurate rather than just saying it's good [Spider-Noir spoilers]
This is gonna be a stupid rant, but it's been bugging me, and I'm tired of all the misinformation online.
Spider-Noir is not comic-accurate at all. It's probably the least accurate adaptation of a Spider-Man comic ever. It shares almost nothing in common with its source material aside from the setting and the costume. But that's OKAY. Things don't need to be comic accurate to be good.
Clearly, the writers of this show had their own story they wanted to tell, and that story was really, REALLY good. But what annoys the fuck outta me is all these people on social media trying to explain why "this is super comic-accurate." It's not. Nicolas Cage is more than 40 years older than Peter Parker is in the comic. He goes by Ben Reilly rather than Peter Parker, he gets his powers completely differently, he has a totally different motivation, he doesn't even face off against the same villains or deal with the same conflicts, it's completely missing its political themes, the majority of supporting characters don't appear, and the few that do have nothing in common with their comic counterparts.
This show is not comic-accurate. But something doesn't need to be comic-accurate to be good. Just fucking say you liked the show rather than pretending like you're some comic book expert and making yourself look like an ass to anyone who actually did read the comic. And also, read the comic while you're at it! They have very little in common, but it's also a great story, and I'd argue it's even better than the show.
all I know is if comic pete heard Nic Cage noirs lore he'd be pissed as hellllll
So I know back when each Spider-Verse movie first came out, there were a lot of people asking how Spider Noir would feel about black people when he's from 1933. I think the general conclusion people came to is that he's not going to be rude because it's a kid's movie and they weren't going to touch that with a ten foot pole, and a character that you're supposed to root for probably wouldn't be racist anyway.
But I've been catching up on his comics, and to my surprise, they actually answer this question in Spider-Man Noir: Eyes Without a Face, a four issue comic that I truly believe is one of the best Spider-Man stories we've had in these many, many, many spinoffs of Earth-616. I highly recommend this comic in general because it's well written and has great art, but I also wanted to drop some panels of that in here for anyone who wants proof and to gush about how good this is.

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okay I'm not LOVING this comic (following up Eyes Without A Face with whatever the hell is happening in the Web Warriors stuff should be a crime against humanity) but the art does look very good
spiderman noir is not batman coded tf this man has killed before...just bc he wear black and seems emo does not a batman make
batman has a strict no kill rule, spiderman doesnt kill but he will if absolutely driven to it, spiderman noir has killed and is not hesitant to kill as a last ditch resort