i haven’t met all of me yet

He turned on the television, and there was Shane fucking Hollander’s face, filling the screen. All sweaty and flushed and happy. Answering questions in perfect goddamned French. Ilya couldn’t even say a basic English sentence without sounding like a cartoon villain. He hated his stupid accent. He hated his asshole family. Shane Hollander was speaking French and he was breathless and smiling and drenched in sweat with his hair sticking up in all directions. His cheeks were pink and his lips were dark and wet. He looked so fucking proud of himself. Ilya told himself the twisted feeling in his stomach was just jealousy, but he was terrified that it was something much, much worse. HEATED RIVALRY — CH. 5 / EP. 1

from shifty eyes stealing a glance to openly checking Ilya out (insp.)

Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Nelson Algren, featured in "A Transatlantic Love Affair,"

Back when God was still listening

Hudson Williams | hot n dangerous 💃🏻 | June 06, 2026 | 📷 Aika Flores

(anon submission)

and it’s such a fucking tragedy that people are trying to push MyIlya back into a setting where he’s constantly being lectured about his inadequacies by the very person that canonically reminds him all the time that those inadequacies were figments of his dad’s imagination