Not me painting a portrait of tomorrow with the colors of today

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

my wife flew a plane in an emergency situation and saved our lives in her dream last night and it was incredibly vivid to her and multiples times throughout the day today she has said quietly under her breath “I flew the plane…”

she describes how she had to use all her strength to pull the yoke down (she knows all the cabin terminology) and send the plane practically vertically through the air to avoid crashing into a mountain range and she keeps calling it the “miracle over the mountains”

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

smoking the shit that made oscar wild

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey