🦝

my uncle Clit got his leg blown off by a landmine in the War on Christmas

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

Isn’t Lady Gaga bisexual?

yes that is indeed why she's on the list of famous women who like women

why have multiple people reblogged this with some horse-assed "um actually most of these people are bi or pan" did I fucking stutter I said they like girls. what is your point. I'm going to kill you.

I always forget that when some people ship characters it's because they want them to fuck and not because they think they exist as twisted parallels of each other. "we all have the same goal, to see them fuck." I personally have the goal of coring them like apples and showing them they're the same or could have been under different circumstances.

i’ll forgive a fat girl for so many annoying things simply because i know how fucking miserable it is to be a fat girl. like. you dont get to exist freely and with any joy until you go through a decades long soul search full of extreme emotional pain OR you nearly kill yourself to become something society might accept. or you toughen up after years of bullying forced you to be more confident. literally there is no painless route to being a fat girl in your 20 somethings. so like. fat girls can be annoying as a treat. you have all been annoying our whole lives

this goes quadruple for fat black girls and fat trans girls btw. literally do not try to tell me anything they do is cringe cuz i’ll demolish you with my giant ass

they call me pepto cuz this pussy is a bismol

dude: way if we pees form buts

This one is pissing me off because there’s cheese in it. I’m not sure there’s a period of Chinese dynastic history wherein the type of dudes likely to be having rap battles would also have been familiar with hard cheese. There’d be political fucking implications to that. Fermented dairy products were often seen as uncivilized foods, and were associated in particular with northern “barbarian” cuisine (see: <lactose intolerance in Eurasia>), whereas competitive poetry was viewed as a civilized and scholarly pastime appropriate to civil servants and courtiers. Mentioning cheese in a verse which also references the heavens could be seen as an effort to legitimize the presence of these dangerous foreign elements within Chinese society, and, thus, as seditious. If dairy were to become a common theme in rap battles, it might be viewed as a dangerous sign of poor morale and defeatist thinking among the literati. “Emperor, we have got to move the capital to the south. The scholars are rapping about cheese. It’s all falling apart.”

Now this is a fucking post

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you