This is the Worst "Blog" Ever

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

tom nook is NOT a landlord!!! he is a construction worker! he SELLS you a WHOLE HOUSE! He is not CHARGING YOU however many bells a month to live there! You PURCHASE a HOME that he BUILDS FOR YOU and then you PAY HIM FOR HIS SERVICE. He charges no interest he sets no time limit it is a relationship built on trust. the only penalty you get for not paying off your home is that he won't build more home until you pay him for the first one. A guy that builds you a house wherever you want him to and then charges you for the cost of construction is not a landlord you own the fucking home

He is, however, in the mafia

actually people should address this in fanfic more because “i know we could half-ass it, but i would never fake mistreat my fake husband, how dare you” is absolutely delightful

#i think this is honestly the backbone of the appeal of the fake dating trope (i am a fake dating enjoyer) #the reason why the characters put so much unnecessary effort into the fake relationship tells you so much about them #does the idea of being someone who doesn’t really care about their lover disturb them? do they secretly care a lot about their fake partner #are they a person who needs to do everything well and with care even when it’s stupid? do they just commit REALLY hard to the bit? etc etc #ADDITIONALLY another main appeal of fake dating is the characters going ‘wow this is really easy and working really well for us’ #‘our fake relationship looks (and functionally is??) better than uncle carl’s 15yr marriage’ #‘which probably means nothing. i will not think about this in depth for at least another three chapters’ #you get it. you understand. i am sorry for the in-the-tags fake dating manifesto (via @river-gale)

in the end, all ship pairings can be categorized as either squidbob, patbob, squidward x squilliam, or mr krabs x mrs puff. thats just the way things are. if it builds off of a trope theres a spongebob pairing to match it. if you don't understand this then we can't hire you to oversee the production at this lithium ion battery plant

Daily reminder to Americans on this website that American war on Iran is bad because Iranians are getting killed not because you can no longer afford going to the movies in the weekends or refill your car 😒

Y'know what, this reminder also includes non-Americans. Let's watch our words and keep the victims of American aggressions in our heart always

*sees a 3-6 digit number in the wild* is that an autogenerated two factor authorization code?