My Life Is A Disaster

I stole a bike earlier and rode it home and now I’m never exercising again

lmao thats amazing did you steal it from a store???? or from a person?

It was from a store, they have bikes out front and I just got on one and rode away

you’re a national hero omg im crying

Wtf thats absolutely beautiful

i want to be tucked in for a nap and have you snuggle up with me to make me feel safe. and when i’m asleep, i want to wake up feeling fingers between my thighs. i want to squirm and be shushed, be told to go back to sleep, i’m dreaming. and i want you to fuck me roughly me and when i cry i want you to remind me it’s a nightmare because you’d never do something like that when i’m so vulnerable.

im crying a lil bit

I need this in my tumblr forever.

is anyone gonna talk about how his kids name is bacon???

HE’S WITH SUZIE THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD OTP

who names their kid bacon

Calvin and Hobbes were Reformation-era philosophers, as was Frances Bacon. I’m better his daughter’s name is actually Frances, but he calls her by the appropriate last name of the philosopher, just as Calvin and Hobbes are last names.

is no one gonna talk about how the girls afraid of Donald Trump in her closet

I think we’re all afraid of Donald Trump in our closet

I’m going to keep reblogging this until it is an actual ongoing comic.

Mr Bun was Susie’s (Calvin’s wife) childhood toy :)

Keep the protests up until all the cops quit after one too many 84-hour work weeks

@deanky

Unrestrained summer fun

why my hand shaky

cat login sound