How Did I Even Get Here?

In many ways, the progress pride flag actually pink washes the original intent of the Philedalphia flag by superimposing a “we all matter!” message over people saying “Black queer lives matter”, and I say this as a trans woman who does benefit from the increased visibility the progress pride flag brings.

However, given the recent and current egregious examples of transphobia, specifically transmisogyny, by Tumblr staff, it’s difficult to see the choice to use specifically the less-common Philadelphia pride flag rather than the progress pride flag as anything but blatant transphobia.

This isn’t to say that Tumblr is any less horrible to Black people, just one look at demographic statistics for this website disproves that notion. If anything, the decision to use the Philadelphia pride flag reeks to me of Tumblr staff attempting to hide behind the appearance of progressiveness that slapping a on couple extra stripes gives off without actually doing anything about the rampant antiblackness here.

Trans liberation must include Black trans voices if we hope to avoid using their oppression as a stepping stone to acceptance into pre-existing power structures, just as Black liberation must include transgender Black voices for the same reason. For as long as the two causes stay separate in our minds, single flag cannot and will not ever be enough fully embody both, but for a company like tumblr, their choice of a flag to use reveals what they really think of these marginalized groups.

I fucking implore anyone reading this to seek out Black voices, especially Black trans voices, on these issues; their lived experiences will always carry more weight than the theory I’ve learned from the safety of my whiteness. Some black bloggers I follow and learn from on here are:

creatingblackcharacters: Ice is an educator who has put together some of the most comprehensive resources I’ve ever seen on depicting Blackness in writing and the visual arts. Her lessons are approachable for anyone willing to put in the work to face their own racism and improve their creative works, and she frequently hosts opportunities for artists to put what they learned to good use.

storyweavingspider: Anonsee is a transfem non-binary writer who both creates and compiles theory writings on transfeminist womanism and abolitionism, and faer writings are simultaneously poignant, uplifting, and beautifully painful. Fae also blogs frequently on these topics in ways that bounce between giving the serious issues their due gravity and a hilarious sardonicism at the appalling state of the world right now.

apparently the murder happened in 2023 after doing some research but the murderer has been found not guilty.

a little leaked out

there's a bubble

blood!!! there's not normally blood! why blood!

leaky girl

first off relax, it's not a huge deal, it looks like more liquid than it is. next time you do your injection, let a single drop fall from the needle onto your skin and compare it to the amount of liquid that leaked out. it'll barely move the plunger, looks like basically the same dose. I've only ever had one girl go "no it was way more" and she's weird for other reasons.

typically this is caused by moving too fast. after you finish pushing the dose, let the needle rest in place for a few seconds. when you pull it out, put your fingertip on the injection site to hold your skin in place.

when you pull the needle out, friction pulls the surrounding tissue along the path of travel and you end up with a lil path to the outside like >>>>>----. if you hold it in place, things bunch up a lil and helps seal the path like xxxxx----

the TV lied bubbles are safe

if you are in a hospital and having air injected to your veins, do not worry. you are not being murdered, they are doing a bubble study. the tiny bubble left in your syringe will at most cause discomfort. it's entirely unnecessary for our medication (unless you are a very leaky girl!), but when done intentionally this is called the "airlock" technique

when you draw up your dose, pull in a little bit of air and (while holding it with capped needle pointed up) flick the syringe until you have one big bubble at the top to push out. when you inevitably end up with a small one stuck to the side, flick it to unstick it so you can float it to the top. the only reason I do this every time is because I think it's fun.

well yeah blood happens

since subq needles are so small (mine are 29 gauge and .5"/13mm long) it's really hard to hurt yourself too badly. outside of some basic sanity checks like making sure you're injecting into the right place and that you have enough subcutaneous tissue there to comfortably accommodate the medication, there's nothing to really worry about. you nicked a blood vessel.

were your hands shaking at the time? the tip of the needle is a cutting edge on the sides as well as the point, lateral motion with a blade that's inside of tissue tends to cause bleeding. even if it's real small.

one girl told me that blood literally squirted out of the injection site, that one I don't blame her for worrying about. we never figured out why, nothing bad ever happened and it never happened again.

bonus: why the fuck did that one hurt so bad???

this one isn't nearly as common, but I've gotten it a lot. I have never once been able to come up with a good explanation, that seems to just happen.

this is all in the context of subcutaneous injections because, barring specific complications, that's the best ROA. if you do IM just because that's what your doctor told you, please reconsider

Yup! It’s an old one of mine. It’s a shitty collapsible cane that is curved now because it wasn’t strong enough to bear my full weight over years without bending. It has two more stickers that read “questions $5” and “disability doesn’t discriminate”

I started using a cane in 2019, despite a lot of internalized ableism on my part, because I started dating someone else disabled and they told me they thought a cane might help me. It has, so so fucking much. I’ve used a cane, walker, and wheelchair, but I mainly use canes.

If a mobility aid would help you, you can use it. People will be weird because the average person is ableist but you shouldn’t let that keep you from using something that would help you no matter what age you are. The fact that I’m younger and attractive but use a cane has constantly gotten me the exact phrase “oh is your cane a statement piece?” Literally dozens of times. I don’t know where they all get that exact wording.

If you think a mobility aid would help you, whether a cane, walker, rollator, crutches, forearm crutches, or a manual or electric wheelchair, please use it no matter what age you are or what you think people might say.

Not sponsored, but I get most of mine from canesgalore.com because they cut to size, have tall/hefty canes (up to 550lbs tolerance for my main black cane iirc), and have decent priced good ones not just fancy and expensive or shitty and cheap.

To accurately size your canes, use this:

As you may know, there was recently a DC Comics boycott as a part of the DCSoWhite movement since DC has not had a mainline ongoing solo with a Black lead for over 1200 days. You can read more about this here, here, here, and here. The boycott has been cancelled (link), but that doesn't mean we can't still show support for Black comic creators!

One of the things the movement called for fans to do was to "[Support] Black creators through independent and creator-owned projects." So this post is meant to provide tips on how to do this.

Check out other works of Black creators you're already familiar with

The Black comic creators you're already a fan of who have made comics for DC or Marvel have likely also made comics for other publishers too. You can usually find out about other comics they've worked on through their Wikipedia page, social media pages, and their own website if they have one. And it's a good idea to follow their social media to learn about any of their projects in the future!

Look through indie publisher websites

A great way to find out about indie comics is to check out indie publishers' websites. There will almost always be a page on their websites with all their comics so you can easily look through them and the creators will be listed so you can look into the creators too. This is one way to find out about Black comic creators who you might not already be familiar with.

The publishers that are listed as examples in the webpages linked above are Image Comics, BOOM! Studios, Vault Comics, Ignition Press, and Stranger Comics.

Check out existing lists

There are already lists online that specifically recommend Black creators to check out and comics by Black creators. You can also find recommendations and lists on social media. This is another great way to find out about Black comic creators you're not yet familiar with.

Speaking of lists, I would like to point you to this post by @bimboopo which includes a list of many Black webtoon creators which you can go check out!

Hi there again. I'm Casi. I'm a disabled Enby who is the only caregiver for my elderly disabled mother, and we're Homeless.

Mom is 70yrs old and has chronic bronchitis and arthritis and Mobility issues, and I'm chronically ill and multiply disabled myself. Where we live has already had multiple days of 105°F (40°C) temperatures throughout the Spring, its gonna be a hot summer. We cannot be on the Streets.

I have us in a Hotel because its the safest option for us. We have no family that can put us up for even a night and while I'm always on the lookout for outreach groups and programs we might qualify for, at this point we're on our own.[ and incredibly grateful for all the kind and generous support to help us through]

But the rates have gone up to Summer Prices which will make things a little more difficult than they already are. The Current rate is $98.30 a day / $688.03 a Week.

Moms Social Security is our only stable income apart from donations and my Redbubble and Ko-Fi shops where I sell my art. I've been looking for stable work but its always been a joke that there "more people than jobs" in this town and that's even truer now than ever, and without any transportation I can't even do Odd Jobs or Gigwork.[cant doordash on foot, can't to yardwork on the other side of town if I cant get myself there and back safely etc...]

Moms income will only cover 12 days of the month, and that's without putting any of that towards Meds or Groceries. We do get $290 SNAP/Food Stamps, on the 9th, but with the prices of everything between absofuckinglutly ridiculous, that too, only goes so far.

Literally Any Amount of Help would be incredibly appreciated. Really and Truly.

PayPal // Ko-Fi / Redbubble

Look at these pictures. How long will this continue? Yesterday I narrowly escaped death, and today a residential block near my home was targeted, and we miraculously survived again. How long will this silence last? It will kill me and my family. Please help me. Donate to us. Donate to my nephew to save him from death and get him the surgery he needs. I'm afraid if anything happens to me, no one will be able to save my nephew. Please, please donate before we die. Donate! 😭💔

Birb mom wakes up in style 💜

I've shared it a few times but I've been kind of unable to articulate how much this article means to me because of everything, so.... here goes nothing.

When all this dropped- the original article, that is- I was sitting in the waiting room at a radiology clinic, about to go in for a Chest CT to follow up on a possible issue with my lung. I haven't got results back yet, so I don't know what it is, but I have been conscious of just how bad my physical stamina is, and in my constant urge to figure out what's wrong with me (which- itself is probably a disorder of some kind), I concluded that it's probably something chronic. Maybe long COVID, as I sure don't remember being this quick to tire before I caught it (but, I barely remember things anyway).

That conclusion, amidst contemplation about a number of pain issues I've been having, lead me to actually understand my situation as someone with a physical disability. Sure, maybe all of my physical stuff is actually treatable or maybe curable. Maybe my lung issue is just a respiratory infection and my pain is just caused by poor posture or something. Maybe I can be fixed. I still ask myself that question, but... I'm trying to understand myself and afford myself the care that I need, right? Making that choice to actually help myself instead of just pushing through it because "well I'm not really disabled."

Except of course, I am. Putting aside the physical, I've known for a long, long while that I'm rather mentally ill. I'm a trans girl in 2026- its almost a given, unfortunately- but that combined with some barely unpacked childhood trauma, and.... yeah.

And yet, despite my conscious knowledge of my mental illnesses, for the longest time I struggled to define myself as disabled. Never had a problem acknowledging others' mental illnesses as the disabilities that they are, just my own. Call it internalised ableism or an insatiable urge to minimise my struggles or whatever term exists to describe it, but it was there. Funnily enough, my justifications were "sure, this sucks, but I'm not physically disabled, so I probably shouldn't complain..." (I'm aware of how unquestionably awful that sentiment is both to myself but also to everyone else who has a disability- I don't seek to justify it or to approve of it. internalised hate is a Bad Thing Actually!)

So, when an Xray found a "thing" in my lung (which itself was prompted by a panic attack hospitalisation- but y'know, it's not a real disability sarcasm) that needed further examination, I started thinking about my physical state. And that lead me to a rather delicate but somewhat empowering place of being to understand myself as disabled, both physically and mentally.

And it was there, in that understanding, sitting in the radiology clinic waiting room, that I read (half of- I couldn't finish it) an 8000 word hate piece, hitting me straight in the midst of my developing understanding of myself. Needless to say, it got to me.

I didn't start spiralling until I got home- instead expressing my anger at something I felt like was a deep betrayal. But when I did get home, I spiralled out very hard. I was hurt, hurting, and convinced that my (very similarly disabled) girlfriend who I had just gotten off the phone with actually would end up hating me for being a burden and would dump me.

I didn't really have an out from that spiral, and so I was careening towards an unpleasant endpoint, until i used my Uncanny Ability to Not Be Upset Anymore. The next day I had to call off work, from how bad it all was still affecting me. I lost most of that day to unmotivated rotting, as the girls would say, until a post arrived upon my dash.

The article linked above by Anonsee, or @storyweavingspider on here, is that post. And it is a beautiful, caring, empathetic, gentle one. It took me by the hand and told me that everything will be okay. In just a short article, every single one of my fears were acknowledged. I was told that it was okay to define myself this way- as disabled- to understand myself. I was told that it was okay to not put myself down because "others have it worse." That I should work on the things that make me survive. That, just maybe, I'm not "too young" for the things I might need.

The only thing fae didn't promise me is that my girlfriend would stand by me. (Which is expected- fae's not my girlfriend and can't do that). But what fae did give me is an understanding that it's okay to be disabled. We don't deserve to be dumped for that. It doesn't make us lesser. With that knowledge in mind, I managed to break from my avoidant personality and actually talk to my girlfriend about this whole situation. It helped. It helped immensely. She of course never sees me as a burden, or anything along those lines. She committed herself to me, even if I need more support than expected. This comic appeared on my dash just before I was to talk to her- a comic she has quoted at me on a few occasions- and... yeah. It nearly derailed the whole talk before I composed myself!

I love you, Selene.

I did a pretty bad job at conveying how much Anonsee's article meant to me at the time (not that I blame myself, I wasn't exactly the most stable of thought at the time!), so I wanted to write this to give my thanks properly. To tell my story and acknowledge the article which has honesty played a very significant role in it. It says a lot of things I needed to hear (even without the context of what it was released in reply to), and I wholeheartedly think that if you identify at all with disability, in any form, or even just are struggling with an ongoing (physical or mental) health issue, it's absolutely worth a read.