sad as fuck

Spongebob fish was right when he said my leg

The only people to blame for children under the age of 10 having “addictions” to smart phones, tablets, and technology in general is the parents. I don’t want to hear people complain about their 4 year old knowing how to play with the settings on their ipad. You put the iPad in your kid’s life. You gave a 4 year old their own ipad. They learned to use it. You did that. It’s your fault. Don’t blame kid’s for poor parenting, incompetence, and laziness when it comes to raising children.

And don’t try twisting the fact that your kid is smarter than you into something negative.

literally nothing is worth arguing about anymore

Stay quiet, disconnect, and glow up

ihop stands for international house of pussy

No it doesn’t

yes it does

might fuck around and start dating the demon from the corner of my room

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

The same people that call veganism restrictive can’t imagine eating a single meal without meat as the centerpiece. 

pretty bold to imply anything funny has ever happened on big bang theory

me: *displays affection by giving you links to posts i think are relevant to your interests*

im not INTERESTED anymore in seeing men’s perception of what female leisure time looks like, how we lounge around hairless and small and beautiful on our beds and couches in oversized shirts and lace underwear, unaware and unassuming and all the more beautiful for not Trying to be beautiful, i’m TIRED of it. even our most basic freedom of privacy, time alone with the self, has been butchered and ripped from us by the gaze of male photographers and artists