A direct window into my prefrontal cortex

NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!

I have told you of the deadly fursonas which may be cultivated through martial arts and sorcerer’s ways, but among my readers there are gentle souls whose conscience would not allow them to seek fursona through violence. It is to them that I address this depiction of the NINETY-NINE EFFICACIOUS FURSONAS.

While a DEADLY BATTLE FURSONA’s sole aim is violence, each of the NINETY-NINE EFFICACIOUS FURSONAS accomplishes a useful end of its own. Those who undertake self-discipline through employment in bureaucracy may attain the CONSTELLATION-STRIPED OKAPI, an ephemeral manifestation of alien beauty that befuddles its viewers most severely. The DOLEFUL GENTLEMAN BLOBFISH enables survival at any extreme of environment, but can only be mastered through rigorous suffering. Each fursona has its purpose, written in the genderless imperator’s register of the ninety-nine, and each their own unique path of discipline and self-mastery to achieve. Some of their number are useful for everyday tasks, like the mighty deadlift weight of JUGGERNAUT BABOON or SINUOUS RATTLESNAKE COQUETTE’s self-brushing teeth.

I can study tomes of ancient knowledge even if the books are larger than my body

I can transform into a bigger size if I wanted to; I am proud of my natural size

My staff is the perfect size for me to wield powerful forces.

Being small makes it harder for my enemies to aim their attacks

My magic protects me from larger beasts and other threats.

Small wizards can make big fireballs

Wind magic cannot yeet me

fleet of bulldozers: leveling a middle class neighborhood to make room for a Homunculous Factory so i can make living soyjak flesh caricatures of my various enemies

femboy secretary: um, miss boss lady~ the hoa president is on line 1, what do i doooo~ #196 #r/196 #196campfire

HALF LIGHT [Trivial: Success] - KILL HER KILL HER FUCKING KILL HER

me: okay tell her to fuck off. andthen put her thriugh anyway so ican also tell her tofuck off

giant lit cigar sitting on my desk, growing big cartoon lips: you better pick me up and gimme a kiss soon sugar… i’m burnin’ up over here and i can’t control myself much longer…

desk (sentient): whoah! is it getting HOT in here or is it just me?

“Objectum Nagito Komaeda”, my bit character that accidentally developed into a tulpa: it’s just my worthless opinion, but… i think you should fuck them both until they get pregnant!

D.A.R.E. lion appearing from the growing cloud of cigar smoke like mufasa: a-ok, dudette! put that ciggy out however you want, even if its with your splooge! cause it’s rad to be yourself, as long as yourself supports the war on drugs!

impact font meme caption over my head counting down to my death at all times: (starts going down really fast for some reason)