I once sent a woman a text message so interesting that she took three whole days to read it

my newborn son has an ifunny birthmark

no but wait it irritates me a little when people ask like oh are you gonna keep dressing like this in your 30s or 40s as if there’s a time limit on expressing yourself thru clothes and accessories and style. yes bitch i’m gonna serve vampire all the way to the casket and frankly into the incinerator.

unfortunately i do believe that every time i delay watching a film it’s because it’s going to find me at the perfect time

(me ever since I was 12) okay I actually need to get it together now

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

“nobody likes abortion” i do. i think its awesome actually.