tfp!human!au:
optimus: - so, how do you think, what is the biggest waste of money?
arcee:
arcee: - children.

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tfp!human!au:
optimus: - so, how do you think, what is the biggest waste of money?
arcee:
arcee: - children.

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knock out: - well i'm mature enough. i always apologize when i'm wrong.
starscream: - i've never heard you apologize.
knock out: - see? i'm never wrong.
tfp!human!au:
ratchet: - do you know that alcohol is completely eliminated from the body only after approximately twenty days?
wheeljack: - ..you mean, never?
ratchet: - has anyone seen bumblebee and smokescreen?
bulkhead: - oh i'm sure they're fine. i left them with wheeljack!
ratchet: - no offense, bulkh, but those two sentences don't go together.
tfp!human!au:
knock out:
knock out: - please tell me you're hiding that you were turned into a vampire..
breakdown: - ..? no?
knock out: - so you mean you could see your reflection in the mirror and you came dressed like that anyway?

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smokescreen, admiring the sunset: - now imagine how cool it would be if you could take screenshots in real life..
bulkhead:
arcee:
bulkhead, in a whisper: - may be we should remind him about cameras?
arcee, in a whisper: - nah
tfp!human!au:
knock out: - oh.. didn't notice we had a new halloween decoration here.
megatron: - we don't have any. it's starscream.
ultra magnus: - it seems like we have to change our strategy. quick, what is the plan b?
bulkhead: - well.. there's no plan b.
wheeljack: - and there's no plan a either.
smokescreen: - yeah, basically, we have no idea what we're doing.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - but if the human body doesn't get water, it dies!
ratchet: *takes away coca cola bottle*
ratchet: - i hate to break it to you, but this is not water.
smokescreen: *struggles to take the bottle back*
smokescreen: - no, but it's a liquid-
wheeljack: - it's not about if anyone permits me to do that
wheeljack: - it's only about if anyone can prevent me from doing that

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tfp!human!au:
how the 1st episode should have started
ratchet: - what in the actual fuck?
optimus: - ratchet. be careful what you say, there are children here.
ratchet: - well that's the point! what in the actual fuck do the children do on the military base?
bulkhead: - we're surrounded!
wheeljack: - great, so that means we can fire in any direction!
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - not a single person asked me how fast i could run in my new shoes today.
smokescreen: - being an adult is just so stupid.
wheeljack: - you're so resilient!
arcee: - thanks. my options were that or dead.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - hey bee, do you happen to have a band-aid? i seem to have cut my finger..
bumblebee: *nods and hands him several colorful band-aids with different cartoon characters*
smokescreen: β.β`
smokescreen: - ..so you mean i have to choose one?.. you know what, lend me your knife for a minute, too!

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knock out, mad at himself, entering the medbay: - i'm just an incredible idiot!
shockwave: - awareness of the problem and an objective evaluation of its scale are 50% of its solution.
tfp!human!au:
arcee: *stretches*
arcee: - ugh, my whole body hurts..
smokescreen: - oh, is it because of dealing with all that paperwork? or because of some intense workout?
arcee: - it's because of my being in my late 20s.