Ellie

fairy lights

Like, normally I am all about the avoiding gatekeeping. I do not want to discourage people from exploring the possibility that they may be selectively mute / have selective mutism. So let's be clear, if you think you are selectively mute as a diagnosis, that is all you and go you. This includes if you are autistic.

That said, we are talking very specifically about a type of verbal communication in autism that is distinctly not SM. So much so, that the DSM explicitly mentions SM in the autism diagnosis section, and works to dissuade dual diagnosis.

Selective mutism is very specifically and intentionally not autistic. It is very intentionally and specifically an anxiety diagnosis.

SM very much is about when and why you do not communicate. Autism is about HOW you communicate.

The point here being you can be autistic and have SM (Greta Thunburg, for example has publicly talked about having a dual diagbosis), but most episodes of language loss in autistics are not SM.

I highly, highly, highly, recommend learning more about SM from non-autistics people who are diagnosed and open about having an SM diagnosis because the differences between SM and apparent SM in autism can be very subtle. Especially because they will be able to provide significantly more information and nuance to life with SM than I, a non-sm autistic, ever could.

And like, I'm not saying you don't have SM. I can't tell you that. I'm not you, I'm not a professional. But SM means something very specific, with its own set of stigmas and life experiences that range from good to bad, and yes in a lot of ways it is similar to autistic communication blocks, but it IS different than the autism experience and that matters.

Dog - is “bowing” and using open mouth “bites” as forms of play

“Play fight with me!”

Cat - is giving the little paw bats they use when playing with kittens

“Cute kittens get booped!”

They are both trying to engage the other in a playful way but not understanding the others responce.

The dog is like “you smack so no play? but not hard smack and no bad noise so not angry?”

The cat is like “why you jump around? open mouth but no chomp? no hiss so is okay?”

And then they sort of settle with a kind of communal grooming gesture they both understand!

Dog: no play? okay i lay… we calm now friend!

There will be many more kids who will gain permanent life debilitating illnesses and disabilities because of this virus. There will be kids who will spread this disease to their other families and will have to deal with the trauma of a loved one that they live with dying.

If you’re about consent and boundaries, good, you should be, but remember to keep that energy when moms of autistic kids are like “I still hug my child even tho it makes them have panic attacks” or when someone’s like “yeah they said they don’t want to be around this person cause it’s “triggering” but I’m their friend so they should do it for me” or when a disabled person says they can’t go up the stairs and you’re begging them to “try anyway”

diary comics - DIY friend

“…People with ADHD cope with this huge emotional elephant in two main ways, which are not mutually exclusive. 1. They become people pleasers.  They scan every person they meet to figure out what that person admires and praises.  Then, that’s the false self they present.  Often this becomes such a dominating goal that they forget what they actually wanted from their own lives.  They are too busy making sure other people aren’t displeased with them.