What Fresh Hell is This?

‘Capataz’ = ‘foreman’.

Super-realistic!

Disclaimer: this post is purely for amusement & LOLs ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

ISTJ: TRADITIONALIST  - has a fetish for Mon-Fri 9 to 5 jobs + benefits  - traditional AF  - this species is v endangered, please donate  - has had the same goals and dreams since they were a fetus  - productive member of society™ 

 ESTJ: YUPPIE - working 27/9 on multiple projects, multiple jobs & multiple underlings to command - getting more stuff done than you’ll ever do in your lifetime - somehow has a neater desk than you but knows how to party it up when they’re finally off hours - fav type of party is a networking party - actually has time and money to Netflix 

 INTJ: COLLECTORS - is on all the social medias but almost never posts - knows all the tings but never really says it - v secretive  - will low-key become a billionaire overnight for starting a very important company that no one has heard of 

 ENTJ: YOUR BOSS - is the only person who actually knows what they’re doing - started taking on leadership roles since birth (re: shoved the doctor out of the way to cut their own umbilical cord) - shows love via loud criticism – is only trying to help you help yourself - so DONEEE with incompetence 

 ISFJ: MILLENNIAL MOM - shares so many Facebook posts that fb definitely knows who they voted for/where they shop at/intimate details even they don’t know - actually writes Amazon reviews (thank you) - replies to all messages from fam within 30 seconds - attends annual mom convention just to maintain their status (Level 10 Mom Friend™) 

 ESFJ: FOODIES - has multiple social platforms to display their culinary skills (STATUS: black belt) - charming AF but WILL throw shade if provoked - hair is goals - listed on Huffington Post as top 21 Pinterest users to follow 

 INTP: THE FUTURE™ - obsessed with the possibilities of the future - topics all INTPs are pre-programmed to get excited about: AI, start-ups, technology, STEM jokes - may combust when stupid arguments are portrayed as facts - procrastination level: over 9000 

 ENTP: BROGRAMMERS - speaks a foreign language invented by them - beer parties & philosophical debates are always lit - pretty WOKE actually - Nerd™ 

 INFJ: MODERN HIPSTER - had first quarter life crisis at 15 - your official therapist - writes self-love/compassion/know-yourself/nostalgia posts for a website - stares through a window from time to time looking contemplative 

 ENFJ: GRASSROOTS CHAMPION - actually has their life together despite repeat quarter life crises - persuasive AF - “I do what I want, I don’t need your validation … but also I consider how it affects everyone around me and how I’ll be perceived” - won Volunteer of the Year award every year for the last 5 years; got promoted to presenting the Volunteer of the Year award instead 

 ENFP: EXUBERANTS - lives off of the Likes of friends and random Internet strangers - needs social validation through an IV drip - will most likely die of FOMO - life motto: pics or it didn’t happen - golden retriever but looks like a person (cute either way) 

 INFP: UNDEREMPLOYED - Feelings™ - overqualified for all the jobs but doesn’t know what jobs they actually care enough to apply for - posts are always either WOKE AF or self-deprecating - hopes and dreams are on life support 

 ESTP: WANDERLUST™ - bucket-list longer than Santa’s list - only has semi-naked pics on Tinder - knows the most important words in every language (i.e. “what’s your phone number”) - no honey, don’t call them; yes, they’re definitely seeing other people 

 ISTP: SHUT OUTs - self-employed - will low-key land a steady 6 figure job for being in the right place at the right time  - moonlights as a hand model - credit card ebills show 20% of income spent on Redbull/coffee 

 ESFP: YOUTUBE VLOGGER - EXTRA AF™ - somehow amassed a HUGE following from weekly 10 minute videos about their day - will fake their death if no one is paying attention to them - actually really savage - sparkly