Cats

Please I’m officially unemployed and a subscription I didn’t know I apparently had charged me $155 (?!?!??) and could use some help so I can finally be completely independent.

Please I just had to pay over $700 and now they might total my car I need help

They are in fact totaling it so I don’t have a car. How can I have a job without one. It’s going to be winter. In the Chicago area. So biking (without a bike) isn’t much of an option, there are no buses within walking distance. I need at least a rental car or something. Like I’m in deep here.

UPDATE: I finally have access to a hand-me-down car! I just have to wait for viable plates and I can really get going on jobs! However I am still currently in the deep so I could use some help until I officially have a paycheck.

50/250

So not only was the first job a literal pyramid scheme that told me it was customer service during interview, but when I came in explained it was sales with a salary based on commission (when I asked why they told me it was customer service they said they did “sales with a customer service approach”. Whatever the entire FUCK that means), the salon was too far away because they lied about the location, and now UPS is ghosting me (even though I have more experience than their current employees). Because everything is STUPID and it doesn’t matter how hard you TRY and capitalism makes no actual or sustainable SENSE. I have gotten one donation 2 months ago from a friend and nothing else. Like. This is so so defeating.

my buddy knows george rr martin and the reason he hasn't finished the book is he's forgotten how to spell "incest" (keeps writing insect). he's furious with himself. keeps cutting his little hat with scissors

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

[This meeting could have been an email voice]: This romcom should have been a horror movie

i've always believed the fixation on 'mean girls' specifically is because it's a violation of gender roles first and foremost--a 'mean boy' in high school is a regular high schooler. the internet isn't ready for this take yet though so be careful

when your dog looks back at you on a walk like heh... we are really walking right now man

Youll pay for erasing her role in this story

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

I know a lot of ppl hate this idea but I would absolutely love to have separate rooms w my spouse if I was married. like we can sleep in each others beds and probably would a lot of the time but also having your own space exclusively for your things which you can decorate however you want and don’t have to compromise on someone elses wants or worry about their mess and also can decompress there if u do want alone time would be amazing