Is That Blood? No, Nevermind.

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

Trying to sleep during a heatwave is a great reminder that all oil executives need to die painful painful deaths

good suggestion

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

you cannot convince me illegal immigration is a real problem and I'm sick of pretending it is. yk when you were a kid and you got mad at your sibling for crossing an imaginary line that you drew in the car? that's what you're doing right now except you're actually killing people over it

I get how we need records of who's in the country for like census or tax purposes, yk boring logistical stuff. but you know what we could do with people who don't have the paperwork? send them to the courthouse to fill out their paperwork. boom problem solved and you didn't have to spend 80 thousand dollars detaining and deporting them

the only thing that needs to be done with undocumented folks is...document them...problem solved

Just like the only thing that needs to be done with unhoused people is…house them…problem solved