Firestarter

I AM SO ANGRY AMETHYST IS RESISTENT TO THE OCCASIONAL BATH BUT THE GEODE CRUST CERTAINLY ISN’T LITERALLY MINERALS BREAKING DOWN BY BEING PULVERIZED WITH HOT WATER IS HOW GEODES FUCKING CRYSTALIZES IN THE FIRST PLACE AND YOUR TAKING A GEODE THAT BIG AND TURNING IT INTO THE PERMANANT WATER CONTAMINATE AND BACTERIAL CESS POOL THAT IS A SINK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU NEVER GONNA USE TOOTHPASTE OR FUCKING SOAP SO IT DOESN’T EAT A HOLE THRU THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FUCKING SINK YOU GODDAMN GOON WHY DON’T YOU JUST MAKE A STOVE OUT OF CARDBOARD OR A DOOR OUT OF TISSUE PAPER??? WHY DONT YOU MAKE PIPES OUT OF FUCKING SMARTIES CANDY OR TABLE LEGS OUT OF PLAY DOUGH FUCK YOU BUDDY IF I WALKED INTO A PLACE AND HAD TO CLEAN A BATHROOM AND SAW THAT SHIT I WOULD BREAK YOUR FUCKING SKULL OPEN WITH A STEEL PIPE

I’m guessing you’re a geologist?

or a house cleaner

i hope this evil reaches you well.

EMAIL . I HOPE THIS EMAIL REACHES YOU WELL.

very well, i shall smoke this “bowl” with you. but take warning! henceforth i may become quite….. silly…

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

reblog if you’re NOT tumblr famous, but you ARE tired and kinda gay

Tired and extremely gay 👍

so apparently bioluminescent algae can kill you if you touch/ingest it which SUCKS but whatever :/

it looks pretty but it's actually an algae bloom which. uh. is not good for anyone involved, other than the algae itself

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

it's also the fact that so many different communities with wildly differing userbases have come together for this that's wild to me. like you have r/gaming fighting side by side with r/legaladvice and r/furry 😭

Dang, check that shit out. That’s a good fuckin’ haiku. Good job, haiku bot.

if you vote please also reblog!

[I.D: A pregnant tabby cat, laying peacefully under some furniture. End I.D]

This is an anti-trans attack; more information in previous reblog.