Do I apologise or forget about it?
So, I’m the other woman, the ‘side chick’ and I was this knowing full well that I was. That I was putting an end to a 2 decade long relationship by indulging. Why? I don’t know. He was older, 15 years to be exact. No one has ever wanted me that much before. I’d never been in a relationship. I’d never been in love. I didn’t know what I was about to do. To cause.
Now, I’m not saying this part as an excuse, but I feel I need to say it as within my circle, I’m getting 100% of the blame, when at very least it was 50/50. He did the chasing. He persued me for months before I gave in. I tried to stop it multiple times, I tried to get him to tell her multiple times, he wouldn’t. In the end it was me that did it.
This was 8 months ago now, 8 months since they broke up, and just under 8 months we have been seeing each other. Last week I ended it. He still didn’t know what he wanted, and I was done waiting for him to decide, waiting for him to go back, because she would let him.
My question is, do I apologise to her now, properly? Do I tell her we are over, and it’s the biggest mistake I ever made? That I still lose sleep knowing what I did to her? That I know she will never forgive me, and not for one second do I deserve it, but that I am so so incredibly sorry? (I wouldn’t be going out of my way to track her down and tell her this, we work together).
