we'll win if we stick together

There are some replies to it pointing out that in general Zuko tends to not be manipulative (or lie) even when it would serve him, and explanations offered for this ranging from the Watsonian (largely “he’s autistic” and variants thereupon) to the Doylist (“he’s being narratively contrasted with very manipulative Azula”). Some other comments about him not wanting to share private trauma with people he doesn’t know well.

But in this particular case I don’t actually think it’s any of that, really, from Zuko’s point of view, because the most fundamental thing of it is that he’s an abused kid.

People don’t tend to appreciate how much growing up surrounded by the language of abuse, and/or in a culture of abuse (as Zuko was - dozens of people saw Ozai burn him, and none objected), affects you. It’s not just about the trauma directly. It’s about being forcibly taught that this is normal and deserved to the degree that you genuinely don’t realize most of the world doesn’t.

It’s about casually mentioning things about your childhood and everyone responding with shock and horror, and you being confused, because you had no idea that was yet another thing about your life that wasn’t normal. It’s about how you eventually realize you just can’t talk about the first couple decades of your life at all without being accused of trauma-dumping and guilt-tripping and manipulation, being punished again for failing to protect others from the discomfort of hearing second-hand about something you had to live through with a child’s body.

And the thing is? Zuko isn’t at that last sentence’s point yet, when we see him with the Gaang. He’s before that, at the “does not yet realize this isn’t normal” point. We know this, because of how he responds to Iroh at the end: kneeling in front of him waiting for punishment. He doesn’t think abuse is abnormal; he thinks it’s a natural and deserved response to his poor behavior, so thoroughly that he believes even Iroh would do it. All the way to the end of the show! (After he’s had any opportunity to say anything to the Gaang!)

Whether he would choose to explain his scar to the Gaang if he knew it would make them like/forgive him is a moot point. He had no idea that it would. With his frame of reference, he assumed their reactions would be somewhere in the range of “yeah, why are you whining about something that normal and mundane, I don’t bore you with stories of how Gyatso used airbending to punish me” to “dang, how badly did you fuck up to deserve that? you must be even worse a person than we realized” to “he went easy on you and should’ve done worse”.

For larger altars:

Round cakes decorated with candles

Fish (red mullet and salmon) and cured meats

Red wine and mead

Garlic

Honey

Milk

Breads

Crescent shaped sweets

Pomegranates

Raw eggs

Mushrooms

Dandelion tea

Large candles

A cauldron

Imagery of dogs such as statues, toy dogs, paintings, etc.

Incense (lavendar and myrrh are great)

Graveyard dirt (ask before taking! Do your research before gathering please.)

Snake skin

Animal bones

Mugwort

Wands

For smaller/hidden altars:

Almonds

Foxglove

Mint

Sage

Yew

Rose petals

Lavendar

Cypress and willow leaves

Frankensince

Obsidian

Quartz

Seashells

Black dog fur

Dog nail clippings

Images of dogs (pictures, personal drawings, dog plushies, etc.)

Keys

Personal offerings (nail clippings, hair)

Anything relating to the moon (pictures, keychains, personal drawings, etc.)

Crow, raven, and/or owl feathers.

Actions:

Helping and being friendly to dogs

Donating blankets, food, toys to animal shelters in her name

Volunteering at an animal shelter

Devoting time at night to her (meditate, talk to her, just have some silence for her, etc.)

Sharing your expierences, especially painful ones and your anger or sorrow with her

Study herbs and planting herbs in your garden

Having rituals or casting spells during a dark moon and invoking her

Taking care of graveyards and keeping them clean

Holding a feast for her and having all her favorite foods and drinks

"Hera is the Olympian queen of the gods, and the goddess of marriage, women, the sky and the stars of heaven."

Large Altars:

Honey

Breads, grains, homemade sweets

Pomegranates

Fruits

Milk

Wine

Pure water

Flowers such as lilies, poppies, irises, white roses, and waterlilies

White flower arrangements

Peacock paintings, statues, or peacock patterns

Cow paintings, statues, or cow print patterns

Cuckoo bird art or statues

Cuckoo clocks

Incense such as rose, iris, myrrh, civet, jasmine, and patchouli

White, royal blue, purple, dark green, grey, and silver candles

Diadem (crowns)

Throne imagery

Framed family photos

Small/hidden Altars:

Chocolate

Pomegranate seeds

Fake white flowers

Peacock feathers

Peacock jewlery

Cuckoo feathers

Snail or hermit crab shells

Cow jewlery

Cow print items

Toy peacocks or cows

Gemstones such as pearls, garnets, citrine, amber, diamonds, and star sapphires

Perfumes

Silver and gold jewelry (especially rings)

White or gold rose petals

Golden roses

Art that you've created, especially if it is art of Her

Poems written for Her

Any crafts you've made

Stories that you've written

Photos of your S.O. and/or children

Devotional Acts:

If you have a romantic partner surprise them with breakfast in bed, a movie, a massage, booking a romantic retreat for the two of you, etc.

Do housework and keep your home clean

Make a playlist of songs that remind you of Her

Spend time with those you care about and listen to what they have to say

Try to help others

Be kind to children

Reminisce by looking at old photos on your phone or photographs around your house

Set time aside in your schedule just for your S.O., children, family, friends, etc.

Turn your bathroom into a spa!

Take a long bath with bubbles, soaks, music, candles, wine, etc.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind and let others know what you want and don't want

Donate and support domestic abuse victims

Donate a dress to organizations like Brides for a Cause or Brides Against Breast Cancer or donate to help fund someone's wedding/wedding dress

Donate and support charities that help aid in ending child hunger

Take care of yourself, your mental health, and treat yourself to something you want

Pray to Her and talk with Her about what's going on in your life, any crushes you have, your romantic partner/s, past relationships, children, etc.

Sources:

https://vocal.media/futurism/ways-of-worship-hera

https://occult-world.com/hera/

https://goddessgift.com/goddess-info/meet-the-goddesses/hera/hera-activities/

These offering ideas can of course be changed depending on what you have available to you, what you can make and what you connect with but these are just a few of the items I find work best for me when I give offerings to the goddess of crossroads, witchcraft and so much more!

items labeled with * are things I find are extremely well received

Edibles

Breads 

Cakes - lit with candles especially 

Pomegranates *

Wines

Honey

Cinnamon

Garlic 

Onion

Milk - I prefer warmed milk but I’m not aware if She has a preference 

Chocolates - I usually offer dark chocolates 

Non-Edibles

Roses

Lavender 

Poppy seeds

Dandelions 

Blood - I’m only listening this because it’s worked wildly well for me but DO NOT ATTEMPT if you do/have struggled with self harm of any kind or are easily made ill due to the sight of blood. Hekate understand you cannot give Her your essence and she values your mental health and well being more than anything you could ever give her!!! she will love and protect you reguardless!!

Incense

Frankincense *

Lavender *

Jasmine *

Citrus - especially orange 

Dragons Blood

Others

keys *

Candles 

Tea Lights 

Bones 

Fires - i.e. bonfires *

Oil lamps 

Lavender *

Crow/Raven/Owl Feathers - only feathers naturally fallen off 

Statues of Her and Her sacred animals *