joelle ✿

effective than any meds

I’ve ever taken

Everyone is hot and bothered and increasingly frustrated 🥵

The 118 are putting in extra hours for the number of wildfires that keep popping up 🚒

People get cranky and tense and the tension builds as the heat does too 🤬💢

Then the lightning and thunder starts to crack and a torrential storm breaks the heat ⛈️

And a buddie kiss breaks the tension 👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽

Chim: I’m not complaining. Although, last time he made this much bread, it was post-Tommy.

Hen: Should we be worried—woah, Buck, not again! Don’t slam the dough like that!

Chim: Jeez, we repent for the Tommy mention!

Buck, pointing next to him: That wasn’t me.

Eddie, grumbling beside him: Bread. So fun to make. Right. No need to dampen the fun by mentioning certain people.

tagged by @lesbucks and I'm pretty sure a couple people tagged me earlier in the week but forgive me for forgetting i have been in an airport or an airplane for the past 24 hours nearly i am exhausted. in that vein I did skip sunday altogether and it is technically monday for me now but. close enough.

here's a bit from Chinese Satellite. wrote it a while ago but I have been ignoring my wips in favor of buck week for the past week... and then did not even finish buck week lol. oh well. have some some eddie content instead.

“I think we’ll visit soon,” Eddie says. He has Hen on Facetime, propped up against his kitchen backsplash. He’s making some indulgent gourmet french toast recipe from a TikTok video that Chris had sent him. Or, he would be if he could stop popping all the berries he’s supposed to be using for the topping into his mouth as he works. “Chris is finally settling in at the house, and things feel solid enough, you know? And we both have people we wanna see. And we really miss the beach.”

“Is this you asking to stay with us?” Hen asks.

“If you have the space,” Eddie says a bit sheepishly. “I can ask Bobby and Athena, I just thought Denny and Chris would like the time together.” He turns his attention to the cutting board as he adds, “We would stay with… but, well.”

He’d gotten up the nerve to try to reach out a couple times recently. Ever since he got Chris back full time he’s felt a sort of fire reignite in him. A confidence and freedom he hasn’t felt in a long, long time. It’s made him bolder–less willing to give up on the the things we wants–less willing to give in to the self-sabotaging voices telling him he’s forever destined to fuck it all up.

“And now we get to the real reason for the visit,” Hen says with a raise of her eyebrow. 

Eddie sighs. “He still won’t answer my calls. I… we never even talked about it. He was gone before I even woke up. I just want him to talk to me. Or yell at me if he wants to. I don’t care at this point, I just can’t take the silence.”

“Do you know what you’ll say to him?”

Eddie shrugs. “That… I miss him, I guess.” He shakes his head and aggressively cuts a strawberry in half. “No, I– I’m gonna tell him that I’m pissed off. That I’m so fucking angry. That he’s being selfish and–and cruel.” He slices through the top of another berry. Watches the red juice spread like blood. “And I’m gonna tell him that I forgive him. For all of it.”

“And…” Hen prompts, and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“And,” he says pointedly. “You know the ‘and.’”

Hen smiles softly. “It’s a good plan,” she says. “And Chris can stay in Denny’s room, of course. He’ll be thrilled for the sleepover. I think you might be more comfortable at Bobby’s than you will be on our couch, though.”

Eddie shrugs. “I guess.” He scrapes the berries into a bowl and reaches for the sugar. Keeps his focus on the measuring cup he’s pouring it into as he blurts out, “I, uh, I downloaded Grindr a couple weeks ago.”

“Oh?” Hen asks. “And how has that been going?”

“I’ve gotten a lot of messages,” he says, still not looking at the phone.

“Not surprising,” she says. “Anyone interesting?”

Eddie chuckles and shakes his head. “Not really,” he admits. “I mean, they’re… Well, they’re hot, I guess. I… fuck, it’s still weird to talk about guys like that, you know?”

“I know.”

“Right, well, I mean, I… I messaged one guy for a bit. We… well, I’m– I’m definitely not straight, so that’s… good to know.” He can feel the heat in his cheeks. He’s never been comfortable talking about this kind of thing, even before all of these revelations. “But we never met up. Every time I thought about it, I just… I couldn’t…Like, he’s attractive and funny and seems nice, but…”

“He’s not Buck,” Hen finishes for him.

“He’s not Buck,” he agrees. “I love him so much, Hen, and I have no idea what to do with it all.”

“You come out to LA and you tell him,” Hen says. “You’ll figure the rest out from there.”

Eddie finally looks back to the phone screen just as he hears the tones go off in the background. 

“Always the worst fucking timing,” Hen apologises, as she hastily carries her phone out of the bunk room. 

“It’s fine,” Eddie laughs. “Go on. Be safe. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye! See you soon! Bobby! Say bye to Eddie!” 

Bobby’s face pops briefly into frame as he takes the phone from her. “Bye, Eddie,” he says with a chuckle.

“Bye, Cap!”

And then he’s gone.

And then he’s gone.

Later, he’ll try to burn that last image of him into his mind. That amused expression he always wore around the team–raised eyebrows, affectionate smile. Later, he’ll try to memorise that disbelieving laugh. Later, he’ll be grateful that he got to say goodbye, even if he never guessed it would be permanent.

Now, he’s waking up to his phone ringing. To Maddie’s name flashing on his screen. To the feeling of his heart dropping into his stomach. Because Maddie doesn’t really call him during daylight hours, much less at three o’clock in the morning. Because if she’s calling him now– if she’s calling him now… he can’t bear to finish the thought.

that's a lot. idk. but hope you enjoyed!

Hen Wilson on realizing she was a lesbian (9-1-1 S06E08)

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