2PhoneShawty

you ever just suddenly remember that linguini and remy can’t communicate. linguini does not have some special ability to understand rats. he just fuckin. accepts that this weird rat wants to cook and can control him with his hair. he’s just okay with that

If a rat showed up and made me capable of getting done all the stuff I need to get done I too would be just okay with that.

…what???

this is a universal experience because education is chronically underfunded across the world

the police to my mom: ma'am your daughter was driving 110 mph eating hot cheetos with one hand and texting in an imessage group chat titled “boy pussy” with the other and crashed into the back wall of dd’s discounts and died instantly but somehow her body made its way to the accessories section and we found 35 dollars worth of stolen hoop earrings in her purse

certified iconic post

Professor chomsky is waiting for the collapse of the American government before he can die

not right now methforguys

I thought this was a slab of ground beef superimposed into minecraft

boys are extremely confusing and unpredictable