Object Lover Central

*beastie boys voice* inflates you making you big and

AAAIIIIRRR!!!!

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

@funnier-when-objectum

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any

@funnier-when-objectum yoooo whats gooooddd

Sex scenes should be cut out of all movies but they should be replaced by a series of strange avant- garde shots of industrial machines and objects grinding and rubbing and spinning and vibrating and whining and entering each other that implies some freak shit is going on

actually went over to my magic 8 ball and gave him a kiss bc of this

its almost 2025 we HAVE to do something about music

we have to fuck it

@funnier-when-objectum

@funnier-when-objectum