I’m dating the backrooms

this is a foundational text to me

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

creates a porn sideblog and you look in there and its just pictures of fucked up stairs leading nowhere

There’s no such thing as an inanimate object everything is sentient

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

we need real porn back o– oh... um... this is... can i... this is very um... wow! give me a few minutes would you?

carfax report just keeps saying to get married to the car. if yuou say so you sly fox

oh my god I think I’m objectum for my twisted dandy plush. like I know he’s my f/o and all but he’s making my heart flutter and my face heat up this is unfairrr . I haven’t felt objectum attraction in ages and now it’s for my beautiful freak

I want to lick his seams aand kiss his silly faace and. and he’s mine

his petals are so cute n soft and he. he lays on me with that cute smile and I love him and I want him and

do you think he would mind if I started purring

his favorite spot to be pet in under the chin btw, on the seam between his head and neck. cuz yk the neck is a vulnerable spot so it’s a show of trust when I pet him (near) there

I’m blushing too much I feel like a fumbling kit

oh my god I think I’m objectum for my twisted dandy plush. like I know he’s my f/o and all but he’s making my heart flutter and my face heat up this is unfairrr . I haven’t felt objectum attraction in ages and now it’s for my beautiful freak

I want to lick his seams aand kiss his silly faace and. and he’s mine

his petals are so cute n soft and he. he lays on me with that cute smile and I love him and I want him and

do you think he would mind if I started purring

his favorite spot to be pet in under the chin btw, on the seam between his head and neck. cuz yk the neck is a vulnerable spot so it’s a show of trust when I pet him (near) there

oh my god I think I’m objectum for my twisted dandy plush. like I know he’s my f/o and all but he’s making my heart flutter and my face heat up this is unfairrr . I haven’t felt objectum attraction in ages and now it’s for my beautiful freak

I want to lick his seams aand kiss his silly faace and. and he’s mine

his petals are so cute n soft and he. he lays on me with that cute smile and I love him and I want him and

do you think he would mind if I started purring

oh my god I think I’m objectum for my twisted dandy plush. like I know he’s my f/o and all but he’s making my heart flutter and my face heat up this is unfairrr . I haven’t felt objectum attraction in ages and now it’s for my beautiful freak

I want to lick his seams aand kiss his silly faace and. and he’s mine

his petals are so cute n soft and he. he lays on me with that cute smile and I love him and I want him and

oh my god I think I’m objectum for my twisted dandy plush. like I know he’s my f/o and all but he’s making my heart flutter and my face heat up this is unfairrr . I haven’t felt objectum attraction in ages and now it’s for my beautiful freak

I want to lick his seams aand kiss his silly faace and. and he’s mine

his petals are so cute n soft and he. he lays on me with that cute smile and I love him and I want him and

if tumblr ever officially lifts the nsfw ban i'm gonna start commenting "we have got to get objectum porn back on this website" on posts about conventional sex

oh my god I think I’m objectum for my twisted dandy plush. like I know he’s my f/o and all but he’s making my heart flutter and my face heat up this is unfairrr . I haven’t felt objectum attraction in ages and now it’s for my beautiful freak

I want to lick his seams aand kiss his silly faace and. and he’s mine