soft sad freak on an unprofitable website

they would NOT fucking have communication skills that good

#technically they know and understand each other better than anyone else alive#but they communicate that in the most fucked up insane unnecessarily complicated way and think thats normal

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

the cambrian period was like 10 years ago

the cambrarin period was like 3 years ago

i love an rc situation where raoul is sincerely doing his best to understand and support and love christine and he is doing nothing wrong and everything right and christine is still like "i have to break up with you. it's not you. but it's also not me. it's the 40-to-65 year old heap of cobwebs i met in the boiler room at work. you remember him from—yeah, the attempted murder thing. that's the one"

the less reason any given christine has to break up with raoul the funnier the situation is. like obviously relationships are always more complex than "ah! you've earned enough Divorce Points to redeem 1 Breakup" but like... oh you're like a conventionally beautiful AND generationally wealthy suitor who ALSO somehow is not like a completely warped demonic being despite the overlap of those traits? you're very genuinely trying your best to understand me and accomodate my emotional and material needs? you're down for cunnilingus and you'd pay my rent forever and wouldn't even be like "christine we should move in together like couples do" because you're being patient with me??? Cool. i have to go suck dust out of the lich though. sorry. yeah the one with all the felonies

god i love a christine who has been dating raoul like "well there's no reason to break up with him. he's very nice and handsome and rich and has a beautiful kind soul. when i talk about goblins he does attentive listening about it." and then a used halloween yard decoration with a motion sensor for scaring children is listed on facebook marketplace within her search radius and she's like Oh fuck. Romantic love sexual style!?

sorry raoul but there's this hideous felon who has really been vibing w/me like crazy lately... oh it's not a BAD thing that he's a felon! lots of people are! that's the carceral state for ya! but ummm it's mostly that some of the felonies WERE crimes he did to me. And he ISSSS twice my age and unpalatable socially and if he were to go outside people would throw rocks and rotten fruit at him <3

the more of a leroux guy she's leaving raoul for the more fascinating this behaviour becomes i think. like an alw guy is obviously sexually rancid in a heartfelt and captivating way. a kay guy is like well... christine always WAS a little not normal about the jungle book hypno snake? but a leroux guy is like Duuude his closeup magic and access to little bug figurines and explosives... irresistible

shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics

modern social media should stop offering "sync with your phone contacts to follow them" options and start offering "block all your phone contacts so they never see your account" options

Coca Cola flavored Oreos taste like if you could eat clipart

I think they add an important element of randomness to the environment. My father in law bought 6 or 7 boxes of the Selena Gomez Oreos so he could set a Selena Gomez Oreo alarm to go off mid workday and then say to his coworkers, "Oh, my Selena Gomez Oreo alarm is going off!" and unearth from his locker his 6 or 7 boxes of Selena Gomez Oreos so he and his coworkers could distribute them around the neonatal ICU ward where they work. He said it livened up an otherwise extremely dreary day.

I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

if we can set aside attachment discourse for a moment (please) i think the jedi marriage prohibition makes sense in a “please don’t enter a complex legal, financial, social, and in some cases religious contract, the specifics of which vary wildly depending on planet and culture” way. the single jedi with a law degree does not have time to draft everyone’s prenups to prevent the whole order from getting sued

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

I reblog this every time I see it because I am not immune to the recency bias