Consistently inconsistent

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

Being nice to someone you don't like is not manipulation btw it's being civil

Mmm no, this is like seeking validation. Ofc it's best to be nice but if I don't like you or we both dislike eachother, then there's no reason for us to communicate or be around eachother. It's not about being immature, I would much rather not put myself in such a situation.

Have you ever had a job

I'm always saying shit like "been in a weird place recently" despite never really being in a normal place to begin with

Dr. Miami stepping into the Drake and Megan drama and exposing him is really something I did not have on my 2022 bingo board but here we are 😭🙃😭🙃😭🙃😭😂😭🙃😭🙃😭

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

reading my own posts like ok girl get better

( <= green bean

( <= chili pepper

( <= banana

( <= carrot stick