decrease the increase

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

not now mom I have to see what my mutuals with masters degrees are blogging about on tumblr

one thing abt me is that I can't recognize veneers and I can't tell when someone's hair is a wig and I can't clock fake accents even when they're done pretty badly and I'm also bad with faces. all that to say I would be insanely vulnerable to hijinks/capers